This will be a really short post, because I'm more interested in everyone else's thoughts on this. The question is - what would prompt you to self-publish?

Except it's not quite that simple because some of you already have. In that case, what prompted it? Or would you only do it in some circumstances - like for short stories or novellas? Or would you only ever consider traditional publishing? Or some other variation I'm sure I haven't listed.

These are the things that occupy my writer's brain today, because it's certainly not occupied with my own accomplishment ;-)

(if you're not in the mood for serious or rambling, you might want to avoid the below and I'll be back with less serious, but not less rambling, when this funk passes).

I wanted to link to this video, but apparently I'm not allowed to embed this specific one, so go watch it instead. I'll wait until you get back.
http://youtu.be/gH476CxJxfg

There's something about me I don't talk about very much. Not online, in real life, anywhere. I don't like to bring it up because a lot of people suffer from depression and I don't have anything new to say about it.

Another reason I like to keep it under wraps is because of the things that will consistently trigger a downward spiral is not being heard. That means I try and avoid situations like:
Me: Life sucks. I suck. What's the point?
Someone else: I'm sorry, what? Want to see my new phone?

Something that doesn't depress me. Ever. Not to-date anyway. Writing. If I can lose myself in a story, I mean actually lose myself, then the world becomes a brighter place. Even if it's a sad story.

For a long time I tried to separate writing and depression. I swore that one didn't have anything to do with the other. Except they're more intertwined than I wanted to admit. The most obvious reason is they both define me.

There are so many things I've done in my life and then just walked away from. They bored me after a while. Except bored isn't really the right word. I believe with any skill/job/talent/task, there's at least one apex that has to be crossed in order for someone to be truly spectacular. Someone has to recognize that apex and want to cross it and have the knowledge to do so.

I used to work for a screen-printing company. I made sure the images were ready to go to press. If you've ever worked in the industry, I created the film the screens were made from (stupid technical jargon). I sucked at that job because I never had the desire to cross that apex and learn how to make sure the artwork was clean before going to press. I used to work in technical phone support. I...tech supported. I wasn't bad at the job, but I loathed it because I never had the desire to learn how to deal with irate people on the phone.

I'm a database developer now. I've tried several times in the last twelve years to change careers, but I always end up back here. I will probably always do work like this for as long as I have a day job. I can always see the next apex, and cresting it is painful sometimes, but I always manage. Something about the work compels me to continue to learn and grow.

In my professional career, the people I've worked with remember me for that. This skill set defines a part of me. And it means when people want answers, they listen to me.

I used to want to be a photographer. I'm brilliant with the technical aspect of a camera. I know how to set shutter speed, aperture, adjust for lighting, all that. I suck at framing a shot. My mind doesn't realize that what my eye sees is not what the camera sees. I used to want to draw comics. I got frustrated and gave up before I made it past basic 'how to draw' books. That wasn't something I had the patience to pursue.

I've always wanted to write. And each time I hit an apex it's the most painful thing I swear I've ever experienced. Each time I realize I've progressed another step in the craft, but that I'm still not there yet. Except I keep pushing.

I like it when people say "that's Lori. She's a master of our data." I love it when people say "that's Lori. She's a writer. Someday I'll tell people I knew her back when."

Writing is a part of me. For whatever reason, it's the artistic medium that speaks to me and allows me to speak through it.

Except...I'm not just writing to sate the demons (not to purge them, never to purge them. The demons drive me). I know, purists say if you're writing for anyone but yourself, you're doing it wrong. But I think that's too simple a statement.

I don't write automation scripts because I like watching information copy from one place to another all on its own. I don't talk to hear the sound of my own voice. Otherwise, I'd just think it.

I don't write just because I like my own stories. Otherwise I'd spend all day daydreaming and none of it would ever make it on paper. I want to share. I want to know that someone else sees something satisfactory in my words. I want someone to read my stories and say "Yeah, I get it. Wow."

I think up stories because I like new stories. I write because I want to be heard.

If no one wants to hear what I have to say, there's no reason for it to ever leave my head either verbally or on paper.

Did you watch the video?

I haven't reached the billboard part of things yet. And right now I can't stop asking myself "is anyone listening?"

On days (weeks, months...don't tell but I've been in this current hole since November and working on my last two projects was what kept me afloat) like today I wonder, is it worth it?

Variable One
About three years ago, I finished a novel. It was grand and spectacular and I wanted everyone to read it and love it.

A few people did read it and love it. I knew it still needed work, but it was an awesome story. So...I cheated and queried it. That was the first time I ever queried anything. Fortunately, my attention span was vary narrow at the time (also, I didn't realize I could query a bunch of agents at once, so I only sent out one letter at a time) and I only sent off about 6 query letters. All form rejections, as you might have guessed.

And then life got in the way. Literally. I had a job that was doing terrible things to me psychologically, and even if the 16-hour days, 6 days a week hadn't driven me into a deep depression, the lack of sleep would have made it difficult to write.

So I shelved that book, along with most everything else creative. I finally got back to it just a little over a year ago, and by that time I had re-written it a million times in my head. So when I got back into writing it, I ended up deleting more than half the story and replacing it with new stuff.

I look at the original and while it certainly wasn't a grand masterpiece, it actually wasn't bad. It was a completely different story than what I have now, aside from the core 'romantic' relationship that happens.


Variable Two
About three weeks ago, I finished a novel. It was grand and spectacular and I wanted everyone to read it and love it.

One person has finished it, and a second is in the process. I know it needs work, but it's an awesome story. The thing is, the moment I finished it, I had no idea what would need fixing. Aside from a few notes in the manuscript that say things like "should I expand this scene?" I wouldn't have been able to tell you what needed work.

Which is why I can't dive back into editing as soon as a project is finished. I can admit that. I have to let it sit for at least a week, because after day one I still love it, and by day three I never want to see it again, but with any luck after a week, I've forgotten enough to look at it with fresh eyes.

So now, three weeks later, it seems like it should be the perfect time to edit this new story. I have some notes, I'm still hoping for some more, but I have enough to get started at least.

Variable Three
These two novels take place in the same universe. Once upon a time they were meant to be part of a series. But as I wrote them, I realized the two stories were happening at the same time, not one after another. The events in the two stories overlap.

Since I had already given up on the first one, I decided that was okay. The second one would take its place. Until someone asked if I had considered combining the two.

And for many, many reasons, it made perfect sense. It was like the missing link of the puzzle. The only problem is, that first novel has been resting again. For several months. And I go back and look at it and think "I could change this, and that, and this, and that"...which would require changing both story lines.

And I love this second story. I was very happy with how it turned out and I've only been staring at it since November instead of for three years, so I'm not tired of it yet.

So now I'm asking myself a few things:

• Can I revise without wanting (again) to obliterate half of the original story?
• Will leaving so much of the original story intact hurt me in the end?
• Am I stubborn enough to let this entire project suck me back into this abandoned novel for another month or two, or
• Will I surrender and leave the entire thing by the roadside in favor of my new idea?

The Conclusion
So, all of that leads to a single conclusion. I firmly believe that it's a good idea to let a story rest after you finish it, regardless of how long the story is.

However, leaving it for too long takes away some of the original wonder. The awe, the inspiration, the thoughts and reason that drove me to write the story in that way.

The question is, where is that balance? How does one know when it's been long enough but not too long?

I'm engrossed in paying work today, and my brain is only thinking in SQL, so I don't have a witty rambling to share. Instead, I'll leave you with a video ala classic 1980's cheese. Don't ask me what's up with the air guitar, but this song has always been one of those that stuck with me. The intro, the words...all of it.

The song is Edge of Thorns, by Savatage. Bonus points (if we were giving out points), if you're familiar with their more recent/popular work under a different name.

Enjoy, and Happy Leap Year Day!

Do you know why gyms prefer annual contracts and auto rewnewal options on credit cards?

Sorry, I know, never open with a rhetorical question.

It's because auto-renewal is a business model. It's based on people being too busy/lazy/apathetic/whatever, to cancel that automatic monthly charge.

Let's say for instance you made a New Year's resolution to go to the gym every day. You went and signed up for a gym membership and gave them your credit card and said "of course charge me every month."

And in January you use the gym like nobody's business. You're there twice a day sometimes. And then February hits and you don't have time one day. And then you miss an entire week, and by June you haven't been back in two months.

But you let them continue to charge your credit card every month. Occasionally you'll look at your credit card bill and say "I never go to the gym any more, I should cancel that." But so many people will never get around to it. All of those un-cancelled, unused gym memberships are what keeps them in business.

Same for any recurring monthly fee. Games, video rentals, online services, all of it. A part of their business model is based on how many people will sign up, pay the monthly fee, and never use the product. Because they get paid regardless.

Ever see those writers on Blogger/Word Press/Twitter/Facebook/Google +, etc, who have tens of thousands of followers?

Some of them have really good content online.

Some of them, this is what their social media feeds look like:

"I wrote a blog post about how awesome I am"

Ten minutes later "I wrote a book and it's awesome"

Ten minutes later "I wrote a blog post about how awesome I am"

Rinse. Repeat. And Repeat. And Repeat.

You may have followed this writer because they followed you or because one day someone retweeted one of their links and you said "that looks interesting." You read the blog post. It wasn't bad.

Except then you notice the next day that they've got the same links on their social media feed. And the next day, etc. Those links continue to draw in new followers, because the article is good. But the person never seems to say anything else.

Eventually, you learn to ignore anything they post. That's the awesome thing about image avatars, our eyes recognize them and we just scan past that information. Maybe sometimes you say "should I unfollow them?" and you decide maybe you'll do it later, or that maybe that would be rude, or whatever your excuses are.

You continue to let them clutter your feed, because it's easier to just not do anything.

But would you buy their next book? Or have you taught yourself to ignore their feed to the point where you don't even register if there's new information in it? (assuming there ever is new information).

If that writer automatically made even $1 a month for every single follower, that would be a fantastic business model. Similar to the gym membership business model.

But last time I checked, unless your job is gathering online followers, we don't get paid a fixed rate for each follower. And if all of your followers are ignoring you because of repetitive static, you don't get paid at all.

I think posting a blog link multiple times is acceptable. I think posting links to your book multiple times is acceptable. But...

If it's the same blog link five times a day every day for four months, and the same book link five times a day every day, and there's nothing else coming from your feed...

Does it really matter how many followers you have if they all see you as is an unused gym membership?

Before you compose your response to my post-title, hear me out.

One of the stories I'm currently working on takes place from the perspective of two different characters. Essentially half the scenes from one POV and half from the other.

The thing about these two different perspectives is I wrote one person's half of the story first. Long before I realized I wanted to add a second perspective. So when I went to add in the second perspective, I had to make things like time lines match up, so when they interact with each other or events occur in one that impact the other, it all makes sense.

This has had an interesting side-effect. I can see scenes now in the original that don't make sense when viewed from another perspective.

It goes a step further, because I got some feedback on my first chapter the other day. And it told me exactly what I suspected, but didn't want to hear. The scene doesn't work. It's got so many flaws I won't list them here. But the scene exists because it one of the scenes where both characters appear, and it gets continued later in the story from the other character's perspective.

So my CP said (I'm paraphrasing) "This doesn't work, it doesn't show your MC clearly..."

And in my head I said "Well, I know, but this is where he first encounters the other character. It's where his story starts. I can't change that."

Except I can. Being able to see it through this second character's eyes has made me realize that neither version of the scene is appropriate. It doesn't fit with the rest of the story. This gives me a chance to go back and fix something I've never liked about the book, because I was able to see it through new eyes.

So I've decided, even though head-hopping in story narrative is frowned upon, being able to do it in your head serves a fantastic purpose. It shows so much more going on than the story does, and allows us as writers to flesh a scene out. To tell our POV characters where to look, essentially.

Do you ever imagine a scene from a different perspective to help you get a fuller feeling for it?

Last night I was absolutely stumped about what to make for dinner, and nothing take-out wise sounded good. So I relied on an old favorite. While I was making it, I remembered how easy it is to do so I thought I'd share.

This only takes about 15 minutes total and a single sauce pan. There's no need for a colander because the cooking boils off any excess water. It makes about 4 servings (depending on how much you're eating ^_^).

Ingredients

• 1 box of macaroni & cheese. It can be the cheap store-brand kind, or you can go with Kraft kind. If you're feeling really fancy, you can get the kind that comes with actual cheese sauce instead of powder, but it's not necessary.


• 1 can of your favorite broth-based soup. Don't get the Campbell's condensed soup. This needs to be a larger can. Our favorite kinds are the spicier soups like chicken tortilla or gumbo. You could also go with a chicken noodle or a beef-stew or anything else that looks tasty.


• 1/2 cup of your favorite corn chips, crushed. Our favorite is Doritos Sweet & Spicy, but last night I went with plan corn chips (because that's what we had) and they worked just as well.


• 1/4 cup milk


• 1/4 stick butter

Preparation

• Empty the soup into the sauce pan, plus half a soup can of water
• Empty the macaroni into the sauce pan
• Bring to a boil over high-heat, stirring frequently
• Reduce to medium heat, stirring frequently, for as long as the macaroni box recommends cooking it (we use the cheap kind so this is usually about 8 minutes)
• Reduce the heat to low and stir in the chips, cheese sauce/powder that came with the macaroni, milk, and butter. Stir until well mixed.

Remove it from the heat, dish it out, and you're all done.

We usually have this as a meal all by itself because the meat, beans, and vegetables in the soup round it out nutritionally, but it also works as a side dish. Since you use your favorite soup and corn chips, it takes on whatever flavor strikes your fancy.