A Sample of How Big a Dork I Am

Because a full length description would take up too many pages. I'm told everyone on the internet has the attention span of a gnat, and I believe everything I hear, so I'll make it short today.

1. It makes me happy when someone finds my blog by searching for TLIF. TLIF! WOOO!
2. Yesterday our company meeting was held in a local theater they'd rented for the occasion. I was sitting next to ABM. The lights dimmed and he said "I feel like we should clap".
   
   I said "Oh, you mean like opening day on a Star Wars movie when the THX logo comes up on screen and the entire movie theater goes nuts?"
   
   He said (and this is totally unfair considering he and I disected the finer points of comic book movies less than 24 hours earlier): "Or, if you're a normal person, like in a theater when the lights dim."
   
   I looked back totally straight faced and said: "What?"*
3. I am tickled, pleased, and honored to have been quoted on Blogging Dangerously. Especially since it was a sincere remark and I feel for anyone who has dedicated their time and talent to a company and gotten crap in return.**

What makes you a dork?

* For the record I am familiar with how traditional theater works, and I was only at opening day of any Star Wars movie because work paid for it and the offer was "See the movie, or stay here and work".

** In 2008, my former employer was listed amongst Forbes top 100 places to work. In 2009, their stock plummeted and they laid off a large portion of their work force, reassigning the work load to the rest of us as they ramped up sales. Goes to show you how quickly things change.

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The Blue Sweater or the Cyan One?

There's a very famous quote from John F. Kennedy. Most of you are probably familiar with it whether you're in the US or somewhere else. ...ask not what you're country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

This line kept repeating in my head today, and I've had the last four hours to analyze and pick it apart. With each passing minute, I've gotten more intimate with the meaning, with what lays between the lines, and have decided we are now friends. This quote and I.

I've worked for a handful of large corporations over the last sixteen years. I've been through at least five mergers/buy-ups with these various corporation. In case anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise - a merger is a buy-up. It's not a marriage, it's an adopted parent/child relationship, regardless of how its spun.

Another thing I've been to with at least the last four out of five companies is large meetings which exist to share the company vision with all the peaons. Should I phrase that differently? Probably. Depending on upper management, they don't all feel that way about the rest of us underlings, but for the most part we're minions.

We had one of these meetings today. I also attended one of these meetings almost exactly a year ago, for my last company. On the surface they were both the same. They had both decided to go with the red carpet "Everyone is a star" theme. Which meant two things (look, bulleted list):

1. HR employees snapping everyone's pictures as they filed into their seats
2. The snacks were popcorn and water (which means cheap refreshements and entertainment if you're keeping track)

The similiarities didn't stop there(no bullets this time). There were slide shows in each. Company produced films (new company is about a million times better at those). Key note speakers who were upper members of management. Little intermissions where specific minions were recognized for their outstanding accomplishments. Etc.

The biggest surface difference (besides the fact that I had to fly to Nashville for one, and got to go to work an hour late and drive a whole five minutes from my house for the other), was that in Nashville, we got caught in a tornado warning. We could hear thunder, lightning, and rain the entire time. It's Novemeber here, and it's 65 degrees and sunny outside and gorgeous.

But the weather reflects the underlying meaning in each presentation. In case I haven't painted enough of a picture for you yet, these meetings are the four hour long version of a Tony Robbins infomercial. All of them. There's no escaping it. So reading between the lines is the best way to keep entertained.

Which brings me back to the JFK quote. Theme for last year's meeting pretty much reflected that quote. It was four hours of "This is what you can do to make the collective more successful." Mmmm...Borg. You will be assimilated.

The message today? "This is what we're going to do for you because without you, we're not successful."

Subtle difference, but if you look closely, you'll see it. And since I've restricted myself from talking about the writing process, I won't connect the dots here, but be assured that over the rest of the month, I'll drop enough hints to allow you to do so. I suspect as creative writers, you can all draw your own parallels - I'd love to hear them ^_^

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Art Imitates Life, and Sometimes Visa-Versa

I'm on day two of my promise to not mention that one thing (because of that other thing)during the entire month of November. I would be on day three, but I whimped out on day 1 so it doesn't count.

Over the weekend I watched an amazing anime: Kanon. Stunning, beautiful story, with some amazing pacing. To me, they perfectly timed each powerful emotion to give it maximum impact. Something I would love to be able to do. There was a scene toward the end where it was a combination of now and flashback to maybe an hour earlier. We're watching two very normal moments, happy, light-hearted, kids playing and laughing and then *wham*! A car skids out of control and slams into one of the characters on a crosswalk at high speed.

And my gut wrenched, and I sobbed even though I didn't want to, because the entire 24 episodes had that kind of grip on me on Saturday.

I was driving to work this morning and it was still dark out. 7:45 and the sun hadn't come up. Makes me long for Sunday. I pass a junior high and a community college on my short 3 mile treck. If I decide I want Starbucks in the morning (which I shouldn't have, but it's been a long three days), I also pass a high school.

At 7:45, all three have heavy traffic flow moving in and out. Headlights going in both directions and congestion at the surrounding intersections. This doesn't bother me, I don't stress about morning traffic unless I'm running late (rarely happens) or my car is acting up. I was going with the flow this morning, music cranked, window cracked, happy story thoughts in my head.

As I drew closer to the high school, I saw flashing red and blue lights in the right lane. I moved left, it just made sense to me. Most of the other traffic did as well, but not all. Some moved right to try and pass us all. As we drew closer to the high school, I could count the emergency vehicles. Five cop cars, a fire truck and an ambulance. I suspect the police were mostly there to block off traffic and keep things moving.

Approaching the intersection, I could see more details. No cars smooshed into each other, like you might expect right outside a high school. Instead, a single SUV parked at the side of the road, with a woman probably my age standing on the curb, head in her hands. And being loaded into the ambulance, a stretcher with a person strapped on. The scene from the weekend flashed in my head, and I felt that same familiar tug and sob, but this time associated with a real life group of people.

And I felt grief, sorrow, sympathy, pity, both for the pedestrian who had been struck, and the horrified woman who had hit them. For their families, for friends at school, and more.

While I made it to Starbucks without further incident (a whole block away), the caramel machiatto didn't taste so sweet any more.

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10% Inspiration, 90% Presentation

Before about thirty seconds ago, I've never heard the phrase 'it's all downhill from here' used as a positive cliche. I guess that just goes to prove there's always something left to learn.

I have an unfinished post somewhere in my drafts about statistics and Kindle and that kind of good stuff. But I spent Friday and Monday trying to determine how to generate some very specific statistics, so I don't feel the urge to finish it up now.

I was going to ramble about statistics anyway, just not kindle, but as I started typing I realized that it was even boring to me and I couldn't fathom why anyone else would want to read it. I'm looking out for you, dear reader. All three of you ;-)

Instead I will post this question and leave you to ponder the answer. Actually, don't ponder the answer too long, but think more about why you answered that way and what it means in the grand scheme of things.

Would you rather watch a movie/mini series that was a fictionalized account of World War II, or a documentary? And keep in mind I'm talking strictly for entertainment purposes. Not much of a history buff? That's okay, 'Pearl Harbor' wasn't much of a historical movie.

When you're trying to sell something - an idea, a product, a thought, a piece of fruit, a political candidate - it's never about the facts, it's always about what color paper you wrap them in.

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Coming Soon: The NaNo-Free Zone

I was going to call it the 'Anti-NaNo Zone' but since I'm not actually against NaNoWriMo, that didn't seem quite accurate.

So let me clarify. And keep in mind, I'm typing this all with spider rings on my hands. I have an orange one on each pinky some purple ones on the other fingers. They don't fit all the way on my hand because they're plastic Halloween spiders made for kids. But that hasn't stopped me from putting them on my fingers and yes, it does make touch-typing a bit of an obsticle. But I'm leaving them there because work is over in two hours, and it helps remind me that today is Friday (TLIF!) and kind of a silly happy day. But you won't see this until at least Sunday, because that's when I'm going to set it to auto-post. (sets scheduler).

Clarification, right. I (like most of you prolly) read a lot of other writer and literary agent blogs. They're all smeared with advice and hype and all sorts of great info about NaNo. And I appreciate that because it's kept me hyped. In fact, I'm more than ready on Monday morning to start writing my fantastic tale of a hero and his journey through the millenia, his run-ins with Lucifer, Loki, and Zeus, and the women he loves and loses.

And for the next month, I suspect that a lot of people will continue to blog about these things. Also good - once again motivation.

I will not. I pledge here and now (unless I forget and slip-up which is always possible with me), that for the next thirty days I will not blog here about the writing process.

Think...Aesop's Fables without the moral at the end. So if you get burned out throughout the month, or just need a break or a temporary way to forget November is about insanity, stop by and read the ramblings.

How do you cleanse your brain when it gets too overloaded with writing stuff?

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