post yesterday about entitlement? Totally about me. And I'm still in vent mode.
Except I have no idea what I'd do with a sword shaped like a phoenix feather that came out of an event gift box. I like dual-weilding my short swords.
But I'm frustrated. And it's because there's this little voice at the back of my mind asking "what are you missing?" "Why can't you get it right?" "What do they all know that you don't?" "There's a piece somewhere, and if you could just see it, it would all click."
It's not about 'paying my dues'. I get that. Life is hard work. I'm not afraid of hard work. I'm afraid of being mediocre. Of only being adequate. Of being good, but not good enough.
Ooh, Fear is a good f-word too.
But the most annyoing voice of all? Is the one asking "you already know the answer, why are you spinning your wheels looking for a different solution?"
And, BTW, F.....rack-off is a good one too.
Because the answer is, just because it's hard work, doesn't mean I've worked hard enough.
And that's what it takes to keep from Failing: Fortitude.
How do you Free yourself From Fumbling and Falling into the Frustration of Failure and Find the Fortitude to Free yourself and Finish those goals that bring you Fullfillment?
(also, I'm listening to Flyleaf right now, which is either helping me feel better or worse, but it's definitely appropriate ^_^)
I think we all go through certain times in our life where frustration will rule the day, and we don't know if we can ever get out of the funk. But we will and we can. Just keep on moving forward. It's only when you're at a standstill that the frustration becomes unbearable.
This may-chance be something I fear too, being mediocre. I haven't thought about it too much in writing though it comes up occasionally. But in almost anything I have always only felt okay at it. Has made for picking a career difficult because there are many things I like and many things I'm okay at doing but nothing I'm really great at. Very frustrating!
*hugs and offers cookies*
Frustration often propels me into writing something new, to work off steam. Because, I mean, if I don't go write something, I'll smash something, and that gets expensive. And karmic though it sounds, what I write when I'm angry usually is better than what I write when I'm calm.
Which is depressing in its own way, but there we have it.
OMG, I love this -- especially the part where you said "I'm not afraid of hard work, I'm afraid of being mediocre...of being good but not good enough" (by the way, you might like reading my "G" post for the A to Z Challenge...it's coincidentally titled and ebout "Good Enough"!
That was me yesterday...Frustrated! A crafts project that I've been trying to work on for a few weeks now fell apart when I ruined the main ingredient. Ugh!
I usually listen to music and take a break to free myself from fumbling into that frustration of failure. Working on something totally unrelated also helps...sometimes...to take my mind off of what's bothering me.
However, I'm still searching for the fortitude to finish those goals that bring me fulfillment, or better yet...trying to figure out what exactly brings me fulfillment.
Oh, and a glass of wine sure doesn't hurt either ;)
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