Apathy's Hero

CP Blogfest: Looking for Readers

2012-02-10T05:54:00.000-07:00

It's time for the widely anticipated Critique Partner Blogfest. If you're curious about how it works, check out the original post here

Remember, when you're done here go make sure to check out the other people participating. Even if you're not looking for readers, if you find a story that piques your interest, this is a great time to start a new friendship and read something amazing before the rest of the word gets to it.

My story's stats:

Title: APATHY'S HERO (currently about 65k words. I write short drafts and bulk them up in revisions)
GENRE/AGE: Adult Contemporary Fantasy
PROGRESS: I'm halfway between first and final, not done, but not rough any more
TYPE OF FEEDBACK: Ideally I'd love to find more people interested in reading the whole thing and telling me what they think of characterization, story, pacing, all that good stuff. I wouldn't complain about line edits, though it's not necessary.

So, that being said, here's my story info

Blurb
Immortality has taught Conner the benefits of not caring. For instance, it makes it easier to cope with losing friends and lovers when the gods duke it out. When Ronnie -- the woman he loved and watched die four thousand years ago -- reappears in his life, he remembers how much it hurts to give a damn.

The 'you don't mess with me, I don't mess with you' atmosphere of the strip club where Conner is a bouncer suits him. Strippers come and go and rarely register on his radar. Until Lexi. The new dancer brushes off his advances, but always shows up when he's trying to discover why his past has been resurrected.

Despite attempts to distract him, Conner uncovers a centuries old assassination plot involving Ronnie. Two of the higher powers on Ronnie's hit list are already dead, and the gods are fighting back. When the god of death sets a flaming madman loose on Atlanta, the burning city and body count are only a hint of the chaos the battle could wreak.

Ronnie's escalating war with the heavens will destroy everyone who gets in the way, including Lexi. Conner has the power to stop the carnage, but he has to decide whether Lexi and the rest of the world are worth saving. On the other hand, choosing to care may cost Conner his life, or worse, his sanity.

First 500 words

The wooden post next to Conner shattered. He shut his eyes and turned away from the shrapnel, cringing when the splinters dug into his face. At least they hadn’t hit any soft tissue. His skin would be fine, but wood chips in the eyes meant blurry vision for a couple of hours.

Maybe he shouldn’t have come to the frat party. It had become a habit whenever Janus was hosting one in Atlanta. It was a good way to see what some of the more prolific gods were up to. But when Conner thought about it, the parties always ended up being more trouble than they were worth.

The assault stopped and he counted to ten. He saw the source of the destruction as soon as he dared look. Heavy vines had worked their way up the beam, weaving into the worn wood and forcing it apart in places. To his right, a bunch of grapes bloomed to full ripeness in a matter of seconds. Someone had pissed off one of the muses at the party. Typical.

Conner brushed the debris from his shirt, frowning when a few splinters snagged the silk. It was almost two-hundred years old. It was probably time to toss it anyway. He stepped out of the way of the vines crawling through the basement of the frat house, letting them continue their journey.

A familiar prickle whispered over him, like a million tiny pins rolling across his skin. One of his mother, Artemis’, druids. That would explain the bonfires being lit one after another on the oriental throw rugs. The flames leapt toward the open-beam ceiling, dancing with the college-age girls removing their clothing. Sparks licked at the carpet and hardwood beneath, never scarring either.

Conner didn’t know why he’d expected this party to be different from any of the others. Nothing noteworthy had happened at one in decades.

Boys in their late teens and early twenties watched the stripping coeds with wide eyes. A rolling bar sat untouched in the corner, neglected keg poking out on one side. Glasses of wine had appeared at some point and were being passed around the room.

It didn’t take Conner long to find the source of the bedlam. Standing near the staircase was a blond woman in what looked like a modern-day toga. The top glittered in the firelight like white satin, tied over both shoulders and not meeting again until her waist. Her white skirt barely covered her ass. Despite her angry body language and fluid gestures, she never blinked. Yup, she was one of Dionysius's muses.

Her verbal sparring companion was dressed more conservatively. A flowing skirt brushed her ankles, and her sweater hugged her curves without revealing any skin. Her hair brushed her waist, bouncing and shifting each time she said something. There was nothing about the druid that was visually obvious, but Conner recognized his mother’s power pouring off her in waves.

“I leave for two minutes…” Janus’s voice came from next to him.

Conner turned his head enough to glance at the god before looking back at the chaos. It was probably time to leave.

Sarcasm hung heavy in Janus’s voice. “Thanks for breaking things up for me, hero.”

“Not a problem.” Conner crossed his arms and leaned back against a still-standing pillar.

Waves Hi People!

2012-02-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

First of all, our list for the Critique Partner Blogfest is growing, but there's always room for more. If you're looking for someone to read your work, or if you're looking for something new to read, check it out.

The blogfest starts tomorrow and runs through the weekend, so there's still time to sign up, join in, and meet some amazing new readers and writers.

Speaking of, this is a fairly lighthearted post today. I've discovered an amazing lot of you have linked back to the blogfest. I've gotten messages about it and seen the graphic popping up in my google reader, and I'm seeing the link backs in my stats.

And it makes me grin super huge ^_^ A year and a half ago (or so) when I started doing this public blogging thing seriously, I thought the entire world would want to follow me in a matter of days. Because sometimes I'm arrogant and unrealistic. About two days later, I realized it would take time and I never thought I would meet so many wonderful people.

Just a couple of days ago, I crossed the 200 follower mark. I know for a lot of bloggers that's nothing, but to me it's epic. Even better, when I saw all the links back here for the blogfest, I realized a lot of people read who never comment.

And that just made me feel all gooey inside, because I know you people, or at least your words. I see your stories and your novel ideas, your blurbs, your first pages, your queries, pitches, and critiques. I see your thoughts and approaches to writing and life, because you've shared with us online, and we all get to grow from it.

And I'm touched that you find time to stop by here too ^_^ So even when I don't respond to your comments, or comment on your posts, I'm reading. I sift through my entire blog list every day, and it's all worthwhile.

And if you come back tomorrow, you can see samples of writing from some of these amazing bloggers, and be assaulted by a snippet from my current WIP as well (which will not be the same one I've hawked everywhere for the last year, since I've moved on).

<3

Blogging to Better Your Writing

2012-02-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

First of all, our list for the Critique Partner Blogfest is growing, but there's always room for more. If you're looking for someone to read your work, or if you're looking for something new to read, check it out.

A couple of quick things about the blogfest, based on comments I've received. Just some clarification is all :-)

1 - Anyone can participate, even if you don't have a story to have critiqued or are just looking for readers, not for things to read. Sign up if you're interested in reading new work. Sign up if you're interested in having your work read. Work out the details from there with whomever you connect with ^_^

2 - Everyone who is looking for readers will be posting information about their story(s) on their blog. Please only volunteer to read if you feel you can provide useful, constructive help to the author. Some (or all :-) of us write in distinct genres and we're looking for people who appreciate the tale we're telling, but still can offer insight on our writing.

Okay, now that's out of the way...I was thinking about novel writing and blogging. I have certain habits that are a part of both. They're also a part of my spoken communication. When I tell a story, written, verbal, fiction, non-fiction, I have a way of delivering it in its unpolished form.

That method frequently involves focusing on the wrong details. It's something that's not easy to fix, even consciously, until revisions. However, I don't do a lot of revisions on my blog. I type and I hit 'publish'.

So there will be days when I have this tremendous thought I want to share with the internet world, and I'll type it out, and lots and lots of people will come and respond. They'll all have fantastic insights, and I'll think "wow, good point." Except...on those days, what they read in my post and respond to is not the message I meant to convey.

For instance, I may put up a post about baking oatmeal cookies (with chocolate chips, not raisins). I may preface the story by talking about how my best friend in elementary school loved the swings. And I may spend more time on that thought than the actual cookie thought. In my mind, the two are probably related (probably). But since you don't live in my mind (feel grateful), you don't know this as a reader. So readers will come along and send me amazing comments about their best friends from elementary school, or swings, or parks, or whatever.

And I'll read those comments and go "wow, good story." and something in the back of my head will say "but what does it have to do with cookies?"

If most people see the cookie aspect of the post as being key, then I probably conveyed my message. If most people don't see that, the fault lies with me as the author, and not the reader.

So, I've started using instances like this to adjust my story-telling approach. The voice doesn't have to change, but what I focus on in the delivery does. I can go back and look at those posts, compare them to the comments, and see why someone assumed why I was talking about cookies.

It's actually been very helpful in my writing. I don't think I'll ever overcome this particular trait, but it makes it easier to find and edit on a second or third pass.

What kind of things has blogging taught you about your fiction writing?

Genre Conventions and Critiques

2012-02-06T05:50:00.000-07:00

First of all, our list for the Critique Partner Blogfest is growing, but there's always room for more. If you're looking for someone to read your work, or if you're looking for something new to read, check it out ^_^

This whole critique partner blogfest thing has me thinking. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post that got some amazing responses. It appears as though a lot of you are impassioned by strip clubs in fiction. Or intrigued, at least. ^_~

As I looked at everyone's thoughts though, I realized I hadn't exactly conveyed my original point. Which I take responsibility for. I tend to focus on the wrong details when I'm...well...breathing. It's true. It's one of the things I specifically look for in my critique partner's note - how did they interpret the story and what does that mean I left out?

Which is still not my point. What I meant way back a whole week or two ago is what I still mean today. If someone doesn't enjoy reading in the genre you write in, how effective are they as a critique partner?

For instance, say I write Neil Gaiman meets William Gibson cyberpunk with a fantastical cherry on top. (Which is my next project, btw :-D). The book is full of science fiction tropes and conventions, a smattering of magical realism, and strip clubs. Wait. Maybe not that last one. But maybe. I haven't decided yet.

Or say the story focuses heavily on a group of friends trapped in a video game who speak like the kind of people who write video games for a living. They spend their time talking to AI's and hiding their loot and one of the male characters is controlled by a female player.

Or what if I wrote historical romance set in Elizabethan England and the women all wore carefully researched period clothing and the men all talked about the business of the time. I don't do this, btw, not because I have a problem with it, but because I don't typically enjoy any historical fiction. Which also means I would be hard-pressed to read it and offer any valuable insight on whether or not it was a good story.

Which brings me (hopefully, though I may come back and harp on this again if it doesn't) to my actual point. How well does it work to have people critique your work who don't enjoy reading in that genre?

It isn't just description, though that's a part of it. For instance, in the historical fiction crowd, I suspect many of them are used to the term 'corset' appearing in their stories. If I give my book to a series of someones who don't read historical fiction, and none of them know what a corset is, I may feel compelled to insert an explanation. One that's not appropriate for the genre. Or if I introduce the concept of 'jacking-in', a lot of people familiar with cyberpunk will know this term. But someone who reads a lot of historical fantasy may never have heard of it, coloring their feedback of the work.

It's also the content and flow of the story. If you prefer to read heavily plot-driven stories where there's always a quest or a hero's journey, how will you approach a literary novel where the character's internal struggle and growth is more important than a plot? If you write literary fiction, how will you approach a story where the size of the explosions are more important than whether or not the character learns his mother caused his mental problems by the end of the book?

I think people are capable of being objective, even when reading stories outside of their genres. I'm don't mean to imply otherwise. There are elements that are required to make any story a good story. But when you're offering a critique, there are details that you my not see the same way a reader would. Especially if you're critiquing in a genre you don't enjoy normally and are only reading because your critique buddy asked you to.

As writers, we're told to read heavily in our genres. My question is, do we need to make sure our critique partners do the same, or is it okay as long as we know they're skilled in the art of objective feedback? I'm not saying 'should we only give our stories to die-hard fans who only love the kind of work we write', I figure there's room for middle ground. But, will your cyberpunk story get the love it deserves from someone who only enjoys Elizabethan era historical fiction, as long as that person is capable of being objective?

TLIF - Why We Follow Querying Rules

2012-02-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

First of all, our list for the Critique Partner Blogfest is growing, but there's always room for more. If you're looking for someone to read your work, or if you're looking for something new to read, check it out ^_^ (Yes, I'll keep bringing this up until Feb 13 is done and gone. We'd love to pull in as many of you talented authors as we can).

When I was in junior high and high school, one of my least favorite classes every single year was English. This is possibly unfortunate for someone who wants to be a writer. I had a couple of complaints about the entire process.

When I took math, the curriculum changed year-to-year: algebra, geometry, trig, calculus. There was always a new kind of math to learn (or not learn, in my case). History and science were the same thing. There's world history, biology, US history, chemistry, etc, etc.

But for us at least, English was the same every year. In our house growing up, we were talk to speak correctly. You may not know it from the way I talk online, but my parents were strict grammartarians (which is, apparently, not a word). So, having to sit in a class room for six years in a row, and learn the difference between past and present tense, plural and possessive, first and third person...it all got a little old.

One year, our English teacher thought it would be a good idea to make us memorize lists of words. Like, she made us memorize a list of prepositions. Memorization isn't an issue for me. My brain works that way. Fortunately, I didn't have to do it anyway because she left the list hanging on the wall during the test.

The required reading changed from year to year, but at the time I didn't understand the concept of dissecting internal and external conflict, and so few of those stories held my attention. A kid can only read 'Great Expectations' so many times before visions of Mrs. Havishom in that wedding gown start to give them nightmares.

Anyway, that's all back story, because I like laying that out. The point is, I didn't like the tests we had to take or the book reports we had to write or the countless repetitive grammar lessons (though maybe if I'd listened I'd know how to use commas today).

So (see yesterday's post for a point of reference on how much I thought of my writing prowess at the time), one day I decided I would win my teacher's heart forever and show her how much I was wasting my time doing menial work.

Instead of turning in my book report, I turned in a two page story I had written. Because I knew that once she read my brilliant prose, she would be so swept away that she would contact the people that all English teachers must know, and I would be a world-famous author and everyone would know how amazing I was.

She was not as impressed as I had hoped, and instead lectured me rather loudly while the entire rest of the class was still in the room. Talk about humiliating. (As an aside, other things I did to get myself humiliated in junior high: write letters to my favorite celebrities asking them if I could use their likenesses in my stories in *ahem* 'compromising' scenes. And that wouldn't have been embarrassing if I hadn't thrown them in the trash for a random person to find and read aloud in the middle of the hallway).

Anyway. That single experience with my teacher taught me one of the most valuable lessons I could have learned, and honestly I'm glad I learned it when I was 12, and not when I was 30 and querying for the first time.

No one is above the rules. And the odds of being the one person who is that exceptional are so infinitesimally low that it's not worth pissing someone off when you don't fall inside that .0001%. It's worth the effort to try and do it right. Sure, it's rarely still exactly right the first time or two, but if you 1 - tried, and 2 - are willing to learn from the experience, that counts for a lot.

Anyone else ever do something that side of embarrassing in school?

It Never Gets Easier, Does It?

2012-02-02T08:30:00.002-07:00

First of all, our list for the Critique Partner Blogfest is growing, but there's always room for more. If you're looking for someone to read your work, or if you're looking for something new to read, check it out ^_^ (Yes, I'll keep bringing this up until Feb 13 is done and gone. We'd love to pull in as many of you talented authors as we can).

When I was younger, many, many things were measured in terms of age.

"When I turn 13, Dad says I can pierce my ears"
"When I turn 16, I can finally drive"
"When I turn 18, I'll finally be treated as an adult"

etc, etc. With every milestone, there was still another looming in the distance.

When I started writing seriously, it was the same thing. Actually, I should amend that. For as far back as I can remember, my mother wanted to be a published author. I remember being ten or so and watching her print out manuscripts and mail them off to publishers. Entire printed manuscripts sent directly to editors at publishing houses just to query. Can you imagine? (okay, some of you probably can :-D)

And seeing that, I had decided I was going to do the same thing. I believe my first real effort was when I was eleven or twelve. I wrote a 'novel' about the first female NBA player. I'm pretty sure it had romance and suspense and strange men in masks making calls on video phones. I submitted it to a contest and was all ready to reap the rewards.

And the kind people at the contest critiqued it for me. I don't remember much of the critique, but I do remember the phrase 'immature story telling'.

When I was barely older, I wrote something else. Or maybe it was the same story. I honestly can't remember. I entered it in the local writers' group writing contest - youth division this time. I won first place and thought I was the most amazing person in the world. Never mind that it was a new category and I was only one of three entrants.

At the time, those were the ultimate achievements for me. Once the goal was reached, I had succeeded.

I kind of miss those days. Now it works more like this.
Step 1 - write a novel.
Step 2 - revise the novel.
Step 3 - seek interest for the novel
Step 4 - get rejected
Step 5 - revise the way you're seeking interest
5a - repeat steps 3-5 until interest is shown
Step 6 - send more of the story
6a - repeat steps 4-5 until interest is shown
Step 7 - See the story in print
7a - repeat steps 1-7

I had Step 1 down years ago. I was really good at that step. That is, as far as I'm concerned, the easiest step. Notice it doesn't say 'write a good novel' or 'write something other people consider a novel'. No, it's much more generic than that.

Step 2 took me a bit longer. It wasn't until about a year ago that I finally started to get a handle of this revision thing.

Fortunately, I was optimistic enough to skip Step 2 the first time out. I wrote a novel, and then I queried it. YAY! Four different agents. The most horrendous query letter ever, even after reading all the 'how tos' I could find online (including Query Shark).

So I finally finished Step 2 and then did steps 3-5 over and over again for about eight months. And even though it had taken me my entire life to reach that point, I was still lamenting the fact that I was stuck there. I would tell myself "if I could only get to step 6. If I could just get someone to read the actual story, then I'd be famous overnight." (Because yes, despite the self-doubt, I still have an inflated ego :-D)

To be fair, along the way I've seen Step 7 happen about a dozen times now for my short stories. But even when that happens I say "this is amazing, now if only someone would do the same for one of my novels."

At some point in the process, I reached Step 6. And I was all like "WOOT!" because you know, Step 6 (which I've never actually called Step 6 before today, but you get the point). And it turns out, it's not as easy as "if someone would just read the actual story..."

So in the midst of all of that, there's always something that happens next, even after you get to step 7. Because step 7a is the end of the goto loop, and then the entire process starts over. Hell, sometimes the entire process starts over even if there isn't a Step 7.

And it hit me last night, as I was trying to remind myself there was no reason to sleep with my phone by my bed so I could check my email every time I woke up during the night, that it doesn't get easier with each step. There's more knowledge, there's more experience, but the waiting and progressing steps always exist.

But maybe I just haven't reached that point yet. Is there a point, a step I'm missing, where it magically gets easier to wait for the world to appreciate what I've created as much as(or with any luck more than) I do?

(Not So) Sympathetic Characters

2012-02-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

First of all, our list for the Critique Partner Blogfest is growing, but there's always room for more. If you're looking for someone to read your work, or if you're looking for something new to read, check it out ^_^

So...I know this guy. We're real close. Like, I know almost everything there is to know about him. I know more than his girlfriend or his best friend know. I know how he spends after-hours on business trips, why he hates alcohol but doesn't have a problem getting high every once in a while, and I know where he lives.

Cuz, well, he lives in my head. Some of you have met him, most of you haven't. When I do guest posts, he rarely likes to make an appearance (guest posts in this case being posts I write from my characters' POV's as opposed to me posting on another blog or someone else posting here). He's been featured in some of my blogfest offerings, but I really only show his good side in those because I'm infatuated with him.

Thing is, this guy is a total ass. I mean, the average person meeting him wouldn't see it, he hides it well. But anyone perceptive would be put off in a couple of minutes by the smooth-talking bullshit. He cheated on his girlfriend, he prefers practicality over sympathy, and he's always looking for a way to make another buck.

Except when it comes to his friends. He'd do anything for them. Not blindly. The practicality comes into play. But he's worked hard to make sure his friends have what they need and want.

I know all of this, because I created him. Something in my psyche built this man, and I see all the intricacies of who he is. I just have to make sure other people see them as well.

That's where I'm flailing right now. How do I show he's being practical instead of callous? How do I work in that he thinks he's doing what's right for everyone, instead of making it look like he doesn't care?

I think I've got it. Hopefully. How do you pull off complex characters without stopping to explain that they're not all bad?

Nifty, Keen, or Epic? Voice says so much.

2012-01-31T08:25:00.001-07:00

First of all, our list for the Critique Partner Blogfest is growing, but there's always room for more. If you're looking for someone to read your work, or if you're looking for something new to read, check it out ^_^

A critique got me thinking about something today. It's not the first time I've heard this in a critique, but it's not something I hear often. And even though it was directed at the writing, I suspect it's more a comment about me than my stories.

I...don't think I sound like an adult. I don't mean my voice, though I wouldn't call that mature either. I mean the words I use, the way I structure sentences, the way I react to things around me.

The comment that got me thinking about this was "but since this is YA..."

Except the story they're reading isn't. Because I don't write YA. Not because I have a problem with it, but because those aren't the stories I tell. But when I look at the voice in the story, I can see why the conclusion was drawn. My characters don't talk like adults either.

My first reaction was to defend the writing. Because I think that's a gut instinct for all of us. To say "I know my main characters are in their late 20's, but they're still single and they operate in an industry that changes on a daily basis. Keeping current in software development requires a certain mentality..."

blah, blah, blah, excuse, excuse, excuse.

I should probably look at correcting it somehow. Except I don't know how. You know how we're always hearing 'find your voice, and write with it'. Making my characters sound more mature...it's not something that comes naturally to me.

Or maybe that's an excuse too. I'm going to be pondering this for a while.

Can a 'younger' voice in a story ruin the entire thing if it's not a YA story?

Reminder: Critique Partner Blogfest

2012-01-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

I don't actually have a brilliant topic today because my sleep-addled-it's-still-Monday-morning-but-I-got-good-news-and-that-makes-it-happy brain is refusing to be pushed any more past its capacity.

But I wanted an excuse to remind y'all about the Critique Partner blogfest coming up in mid-February.

If you haven't signed up yet, go add your name to the list. It's for writer's at any point in their work, and who can't use another set of eyes to take a look at their story?

Announcement, Upcoming Blogfest: I'll Scratch Your Back, You Scratch Mine

2012-01-27T08:11:00.001-07:00

Hmm...okay, so that title is kind of long. Grr...I'll have to pare it down in the next day or so.

But it's not any shorter than "The Find Critique Partners and Beta Readers Blogfest", and it's a whole lot catchier.

In case you wondered what I'm talking about, that's it. I'm hosting a blogfest from Feb 10-13. The basic premise is simple, if you're looking for critique partners or beta readers, even if you already have some, this is your chance to maybe find some more.

It works like this:

On Feb 10, post your information on your blog (I'll tell you what information below)
Between Feb 10-13, go visit all the other people's blogs, and read what they've got to offer.
If you're interested in reading and/or helping them out, let them know by replying to their post
If you love the idea, but just don't feel like you're the right person to provide feedback or don't have the time, let them know you loved their idea and why.
Don't feel compelled to offer to read for someone just because they offered to read for you. I mean certainly, talk and hit it off and see how it goes, but I'm just saying...

So, what's this vague information I'm mentioning? The things that your post should contain?

Genre, Age Group (YA or Adult), & Title of your story
Your current story status. Are you working on a first draft? Trying to wrap up a final draft for submission? Somewhere in between?
What kind of feedback are you looking for? A full-blown line-edit and critique? Overall thoughts? Input as you move through each chapter? Something else? How detailed or high-level do you want to go?
A pitch, blurb, or query about your book so we know what it's about. I'll leave it up to you to decide how you'd like to sell it, but try and keep it under 300 words.
The first 500 words of your story. This isn't an agent-judged contest or anything like that, it's a search for feedback, so give us what you've got.

This will all allow people to decide if you've got what they're looking for on several levels. There's one important thing to keep in mind, and I want to put this out there now because I suspect many of you have the same kind of writer's ego I do - a little fragile:

Depending on how many people sign up and who they are, it's possible not everyone will find a match. That doesn't reflect on your writing, so please (please) don't take it as a bad sign. Even in a community of writing bloggers, we don't all write or read the same things.

That being said, the more people who sign up and participate, the better everyone's chances, so add your name to the linky below ^_^ Post any questions or thoughts you have and I'll clarify.

An Important Note About Backups

2012-01-26T08:20:00.000-07:00

This post is all practical today. About backing up your work. First of all, since you've all heard it before - do you have backups of your work? Your writing, and anything else digital?

But this goes beyond the standard 'back up all your work' stuff.

I do all my drafting in Scrivener, because it gives me the ability to move around entire chapters easily. And I do that more than I'd like to admit. When I finish a draft, I export it to Word so I have a copy of what was before, in case I need to go back and grab it in revisions and I've already deleted it.

Keeping oodles of writing drafts is about the only thing in the entire world I'm really uptight about. I save a new file every time I start a new draft and/or start deleting large chunks of text.

I did that yesterday. I got all done with a draft and saved it to a Word document so I could go back and start slaughtering my Scrivener version.

I went to open that Word draft this morning. I wanted to print it because I decided I wanted to do this round of editing on paper.

It was blank. I hadn't exported the file correctly. I had an empty word document that was my most recent draft of my story. And what was even better, I had backed up the empty word document into my secondary backup spot.

So, that's my lesson learned and shared. Backups are fantastic. Just make sure they're working.

Fortunately for me, I had a paranoid moment yesterday where after I made my word backups, I also made a Scrivener backup and it wasn't blank. But I suspect one of these days, the one where I get lax again, will be the one where I lose several weeks of important revisions or rough draft.

Do you backup your work, or is it something you always tell yourself you can do later?

The Pitch, The Idea, & The Drawbacks of Early Morning Blogging

2012-01-25T07:51:00.001-07:00

I probably shouldn't have posted that entry that went up a couple of hours ago. I'm not sure it made sense. Even as I was typing it I wasn't sure it made sense. But at the time, to my still-sleeping brain, it was a brilliant ramble.

I'll leave it there as a reminder of my shame, but I have something much more coherent (Hopefully) to share with y'all. As I mentioned previously, I'm revising my second novel I wrote last November. Parts of it feel forced and contrived and extraneous and I don't like them. I'd like to cut them, but I don't know what to replace them with.

The story is all wrapped-up except for this handful of scenes I've only kept because they inflate word count. If only I didn't feel like this story needed to be 50-70k words...then I could trim the extraneous and move on with my life.

There's another flaw with the story too. Actually, flaw isn't the right word. To me it's not an issue. To the general populous, it might be. The romantic interests in the story run a software gaming company. That means the story is littered with lingo appropriate to the characters. But it doesn't make a lot of sense if you've never been ganked and then tea-bagged by a scriddie-noob with a plasma cannon. (okay, so technically I've never seen anyone try and combine scriddie with noob, but that's artistic license right there).

Given that, I recognize that if I leave the terminology as-is, it greatly limits my target audience.

And then, after writing my muddled blog post this morning, I remembered something I had seen on the Entangled website. A call for submissions for...(dramatic pause)...20-40k word novellas with strong romantic elements and geeks as the main characters. What? Really? *Swoon*.

And then, not even twenty minutes later, this showed up in my Google reader...YATopia is hosting a pitch contest today, and the judges are the editors from Entangled publishing.

Now, the original submission call is open until April 15, so that's my real target. I can take the time to write a query and polish it, and submit the story. But...I'm having a hard time passing up this opportunity and I've already blurbed the story because I do that when I write. I just need a little feedback before this evening's deadline. So, if anyone has a moment or two and would like to read my nice, simple, two-sentence pitch and give me your brutal, honest feedback, I'd <3 you for bunches and bunches *bats eyelashes*

The pitch (revised) (I don't get a lot of room, and I'm having trouble balancing interesting with romantic elements with plot)

Amid insider trading indictments and an intellectual property lawsuit, Zach finds himself falling for the one person who has a solution: Rae, his best friend and business partner's ex-girlfriend. If Zach can't find the balance between business and romance before their company's next video game hits shelves, he'll suffer financial devastation, lose the woman he loves, and destroy a life-long friendship.

The Plot Dillema

2012-01-25T05:40:00.001-07:00

I did something in my writing yesterday that I haven't done in a very long time. Like over a decade long time. It felt awkward when I was doing it, but I couldn't think of any better way. Confession, I've actually done this a couple of times this week. It's not a big deal since this is a draft, but still...

...okay, it's really not a big deal. I wrote out scenes that were all dialogue and dialogue tag. 100%. No setting, no description beyond the occasional laugh or smile. It reads a lot more like a screen play than a story chapter. I also juggled six characters talking in each instance. It was strange. I don't know if I like it because I don't know if I'll be able to edit either chapter when the time comes. I may end up cutting them both.

But it was a lot of fun. And it kept the story flowing from my fingertips.

It did cue me in to a second issue though. I'm really loving the first half of this story. And I'm absolutely infatuated with the way it ends. But the second half bits in between...I don't think they're going to work.

This seems to be a recurring theme for me. I plot out an entire book, I write it, I go back to revise and realize very large chunks of the story don't make sense in the grand scheme of things. That's the point I hit yesterday. This element that makes up the entire last third of the story outside of the main plot is its own story. Literally. I know this because I've already written the outline.

And I'm worried that introducing it here will make it convoluted.

Or maybe I can gloss over it...I'm a little confounded at this point. Stumped by my own convoluted plot. I'm thinking about writing through it anyway, and then cutting it later if I get a better idea.

How do you deal with cutting large portions of your story that don't work when you don't have anything else to replace them with?

Oh...interesting thought...maybe I do cut it and make it a novella instead...it might fit into a publishing line at a digital publisher...hmm....

Do You Believe in Coincidence?

2012-01-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago, while they were still in high school, they had a spot they hung out in all the time. A coffee shop tucked away in a shopping center no one ever visited. The place did a lot of business in the morning because it was near a large office building, but by afternoon it was almost always empty. It was a perfect excuse to sit in the back corner and cuddle without interruption.

When they broke up, he never went back. What was the point? One, it reminded him of her, and two, he didn't drink coffee.

She kept going back. It had been one of her favorite spots before they started dating and she was determined not to let him ruin that for her. It took a few years, but the memories faded and once again it became just a place she went for coffee.

He's moved on. Dated dozens of other women and probably slept with ten times that many. Even got engaged to one of them...even though that didn't turn out so well and damaged his professional life irreparably.

She married her childhood best friend...and divorced him when she found out he was sleeping around. Not that they would have lasted long anyway when he came out of the closet.

They're in their late twenties now and haven't spoken since before they graduated. A mutual friend has brought them back together and the reaction is like oil in water. Or maybe more accurately, ice in a hot deep-fryer.

He remembers the way they broke up and expects she's still the childish little girl who was so strung out on over-the-counter pills she thought it was better to be abandoned in the middle of no where than get a ride back home.

She believes she's changed, and doesn't understand why anyone would hold onto something for ten years. Except maybe the regret she has over how she left things. That's different.

When things come to a head between them, and decade old wounds are re-opened without any resolution, both of them storm out.

She heads to the one place she's always gone for comfort. The little coffee shop tucked away in the shopping center no one ever visits unless it's morning and they want a cup of coffee or other excuse to delay being in the office.

He drives. He always drives when he's pissed off. He ends up in a shopping center that looks familiar, but there's no way that's the same coffee shop. That place never did any business. Still, he's mired in memories mingling with present day and wonders if maybe it's time he moved on with his life. He hopes going inside will provide closure and resolution.

She looks up with the door opens, and decides she's going to be sick.

He sees her in the back of the shop and almost turns around and walks back out.

The barista is oblivious to the tension in the air and greets the second customer who's been in all day with enthusiasm. Asks him what he'll have.

She doesn't look at the barista, but orders without thought. Italian soda with cherry, no cream. The cream makes the cherry taste funny.

He finds himself sliding into the seat across from her, even though he can't explain why, and for a few moments they just stare at each other. The moment is broken when his drink arrives. She starts to pay, but he stops her and slides a five across the table. Tells the barista to keep the change.

He breaks the silence. After all, he was there for closure and resolution.

###

Fiction is made up of a series of coincidences. It helps if they're at least in part driven by the actions of your main characters, but sometimes they just happen. However, if the pieces didn't all fall into place, you wouldn't have a cohesive plot.

If she went to the coffee shop and he went back home, and they never spoke again, the story would be over. The issue is, are the coincidences plausible? Will anyone believe that he would walk into that coffee shop at that point? Is his rationale enough to make the situation plausible?

Or will the reader balk because he never should have followed a compulsion like that?

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Literally, actually. Is it plausible to have him walk into that coffee shop?

Are you conscious of the coincidences laced in your stories and others'?

Amazing Authors, and Opportunity

2012-01-20T14:03:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the double post today, but I had to share some things and it just. couldn't. wait.

On the one hand, ever since I finished the 'Hunger Games' trilogy, and then 'Anansi Boys', I've been floundering for new things to read. I've sampled a few books and nothing has really caught my attention.

On the other, ever since I shelved 'Uriel's Fall' I've been trying to figure out if it was the story or the query that fell flat when I queried. I'd like to blame it on the query because I never really made it past that stage. The brick wall I've been banging my head against is that I got some fantastic 'this is great' feedback from my cp's and other friends, but it still didn't pique any interest.

And even though that project is on the back burner, I've got this new one I'm about to query. Except this little voice in the back of my head is telling me I need a new set of eyes to look and help me out. Someone who doesn't know this universe the way my cp's do. Someone who doesn't know me from an egg on Twitter. Someone who knows the industry.

I've discovered the peanut butter cup solution to these issues (you know: 'hey, you got chocolate in my peanut butter'. 'hey you got peanut butter in my chocolate'...'two great tastes that taste great together'...you do know, right?)

The solution came in the form of an amazing offer from Meredith Barnes. (Go read the post if you'd like, but make sure you come back when you're done, because I'm not finished yet).

She's listed four authors and asked for people to share the news and the links. I wasn't quite so gung-ho at first until I followed the link for Dan Streib. And...holy awesomeness...first of all, I was absolutely fascinated with the concept of a James-Bond-meets-Anderson-Cooper mc...and then I started reading the book blurbs. I'm starting with The Cargo Gods, and I'm already hooked after the first few pages.

I'm so looking forward to reading something new ^_^

TLIF - Time to Pick a New WIPtim

2012-01-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

'Cuz if you imagine someone with a bad Eastern European accent it almost sounds like victim, right? okay, so the clever title thing has never been my strong suit.

However I'm still moving onto a new project. At least, temporarily. Yesterday I finished the draft of my novel I was working on. It turns out that the relief and feeling of accomplishment that comes with saying "I'm done" still hasn't gotten old ^_^

I've exported this draft from Scrivener so I can print it and so I have a copy of it. I've made notes at the top of each chapter about things I already know I need to change/bulk up/add/remove/etc. I killed a god. And I drafted a query.

I'm going to be good and set it aside, even though part of me is itching to dive in right now. I'm still too tickled with it. I'd just stare at it and not be able to change anything. So I'll let it rest. I'll make sure when I go back to it that it's really ready to go.

But even better than that, one person has read the first four chapters. She's had some valid feedback on them, like 'can you really call this Apathy's Hero if the main character isn't actually apathetic?'...but she's also been very complimentary. I don't want to say she's usually mean, because she's not. But in the past her notes on my stories have included things like 'I'm sorry, but I just can't comprehend why your character would do this. It makes absolutely no sense.'

And this time I've gotten notes like 'I like the banter here. I like this new character. Parts of this made me laugh out loud.'

There's this tiny little voice in the back of my head telling me she's just learned I'm whiny and is softening the blow, but I've managed to suppress that (mostly). There's this other little voice that's a little louder telling me I'm just growing a thicker skin and taking criticism better. Honestly, I'd like to believe that one, but it's lied to me before. Then there's this almost-but-not-quite-louder voice that says maybe she actually likes the story.

In short, I'm having one of those days where I actually feel like a writer, and I like it. I would bottle this and sell it for like a lot of $$ an ounce if I could ($1. I think that sounds good. That's the hook. Because then people don't even think about paying the fee, and I sell millions...of this invisible substance that doesn't exist ^_^)

What gives you that little buzz that whispers "You're a real writer"?

Torture Them Until You Break

2012-01-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

First things first: all the images I've used in my posts over the last week or two are mine. I've tried to attribute the quotes whenever possible, but I took the picture. There are older posts here (like the one with the quotes from tumblr) that aren't mine and that I didn't have permission to re-post, and I will try and avoid that in the future. Not because anyone is making me, but because it's the right thing to do.

But the awesome thing about all these pictures being mine? The one I'm using today was taken outside my office. Yes, there's a curb in the parking lot that carries that scar. And the quote about suffering seemed to match both the concrete's pain, and my writing lately.

In the last two weeks, I've written two of the most difficult scenes I've ever had to write in my stories. Wait, hang on, let me back up.

In my lifetime I've read countless authors talking about torturing their characters. How if the story isn't exciting enough they make someone suffer, or they kill someone off, or they take an arm, or a loved one, or a favorite car. Anything to make their characters weep.

I've always heard that and gone "Hmm...but my stories aren't like that." Which is a fantastic excuse for not having to do that. Not that I knew at the time I was making excuses, but really, I was. It's easy to say "My story is the kind of story where people don't die. Or get hurt. Or have their purse stolen. Or have to do more to make ends meet than work an extra shift."

Trust me, it's really easy. Try it, go on. I'll wait...
...
...
See? Simple.

You know what's a lot harder for me? Realizing that bad things happen all the time and that means my characters have to suffer to. Like actually suffer, not face the kind of problems that they can solve in 22 minutes plus commercials and walk away from unscathed.

A lot of writers already know this. I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes. So you might be wondering, if it's taken me this long to figure out, what were all my novels like before this?

Umm...let's not go there today.

Anyway, suffering. I've realized I have to make my characters suffer. And they've been doing a lot in this current piece. I've even started to literally torture one of them. And that's hurt a lot. Since this is a POV character, I've at least partially lived each passage of suffering as he has. It does funky things to my mind. A few days ago I was in the middle of one of these more intense scenes and the phone rang.

And I experienced something I didn't actually think happened. I stared at it blankly, trying to remember what I was supposed to do with it. And even once I figured out I needed to answer it, I still couldn't remember what happened next. I'm going to hope the person on the other end didn't realize I wasn't an actual part of the conversation for at least the first two minutes.

But I think it's been worth it (I'm almost done with the really painful stuff. At least until the next round of revisions). I think the story is stronger for it. The one last thing I have to hope is that it has the same impact on the reader that it does on me.

Do you struggle with torturing your characters or reading tortured characters?

There's Bad Writing and then there's BAD Writing

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not ashamed to admit my favorite movies are action movies. You know the ones. They have a lot of pretty stuff. Pretty stuff = sexy heroes, well choreographed fight and chase scenes, explosions, CGI...mmm...sparkly.

They don't (typically) have a lot of plot. I should amend. They tend to have plot as in the main character is motivated to do something, a lot of things get blown up in the process, and then that thing is done.

You know what's the best? Movies that are advertised as action/adventure to draw an audience, but turn out to be some really well-written, intense drama. Like a lot of Matt Damon movies. But...that is so totally a tangent.

They just don't typically have the most solid or complex plots. If you're paying attention to the film you might find yourself asking "but why did he/she just...I don't...but why?"

And I expect that when I watch these movies. The 'Underworld' films? Loved them. The Avengers movies? Uh...duh? But every once in a while my expectation for the poorly plotted can still be let down.

The other night we watched Transformers 3. (I know, I just gave away the end of my rambling with that spoiler, I'm sorry). I fell asleep during 1, and I thought 2 met and almost exceeded my expectation for pretty with an almost functional underlying story.

And 3 had everything a story is supposed to have. A solid character arc, human suffering and triumph, a beginning, and a middle, and an...um...what comes last? An explosion, right ^_^. But the way it was pasted together was almost like someone took a series of index cards with different plot elements on them, dropped hundreds of them into a hat, and them picked out fifty and wrote the screenplay in the order they were drawn.

However, if I were to pick the story apart, on a technical level they followed the rules of story telling. There was pacing, and emotion, and pretties, and collagen, and conflict, and struggle, and resolution.

But there was so little logical progression. It was like a patchwork quilt made of fifty different kinds of fabric that didn't quite hang right after the first time it was washed.

And the other analogy I had? It was like a first draft of a novel.

Which is why, at least I think, that we 1 - get feedback from people who aren't us and 2 - revise our work. Next time you're wondering if the pain of revision is worth the reward, just ask yourself if you'd like to be the next Transformers 3. Except without the paycheck ;-)

And, if you're Michael Bay and looking for your next movie idea, feel free to contact me. I have an entire USB drive full of first drafts I'd be happy to option. I'll even let you add some robots and explosions to them if you'd like. No extra charge.

What was the last thing you either read or saw where the writing, good or bad, really struck a cord with you?

Cresting the Peak

2012-01-17T08:37:00.001-07:00

I almost walked away from blogging yesterday. I almost threw in the towel and said I was never coming back. And then one person reminded me that there are better ways to deal with frustration, like, oh, rationally responding. And another reminded me that I'm going to need to learn to live with much worse if I want to see my books published.

And then I reminded myself that I don't like being a childish reactionary.

Speaking of books and publishing...I'm revising the final chapters of my WIP today. Those last handful of chapters where everything comes to a head, people die, people live, gods make things explode...and then there's this spear...

My imagination is a cruel beast and has come up with a new twist to the story that wasn't there before. It has the potential to be powerful, but 1 - I'm not convinced it works in the context of the story and 2 - it's am emotional drain to write it in.

However, this entire thing has become a cohesive story rather than a NaNoWriMo word spew, and I know I'll have to go over it one more time before I even hand it to my cp's and readers. I plan to kill a small tree this weekend and print the beast out. I'm that close to being finished. I also plan to not touch it for at least a week. I can be good that long.

That means that this weekend I'll need something new to brain storm on. So it's time to pull out the second novel I wrote in November.

There's something really exciting about this feeling. About knowing that I'm able to work through ideas and see them come to life and finish one and then move on to the next. I spent an entire year in a writing dry spell, and then I spent all of last year revising a single story. I'm really psyched to be...well...creating new worlds again.

Something tells me that entire post was less than cohesive. Hrm...anyway ^_^

What are you working on right now?

Last Minute Decisions - ABNA

2012-01-16T09:19:00.001-07:00

Once again, the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards are looming on the horizon. I know a lot of people who are participating, and just as many who aren't. I'm still on the fence. Last year I didn't make it past the first round. Which was a little heartbreaking at the time, but I did recover.

This year...well technically I'd be entering with the same story, but it's so very different now (including a different title) that unless you've read the story, you wouldn't recognize the two as being the same beast. The first chapter is brand new. The pitch is completely different. The underlying story line has been heavily modified.

And I've shelved the story. I've set it aside as something I'm not going to work on or shop around or anything for the time being.

So I'm asking myself, would I be entering just for the sake of entering? Would I be doing it in the hope I'd make it just a little further this year? Do I have enough faith in this particular story to think it would climb it's way through each round? After all, I shelved it for a reason.

And I'm almost done with my current WIP. I won't be done in a week, I'm not that almost done. But it's become my new focus. Not that I would have to focus on the other book if I entered ABNA. It's already done, so it's hands off.

If all of that's true. If I think this story is best shelved. I think the polite thing to do would be to step back and not enter for the sake of saying I did it. That slot can go to someone else, since there are only 5000 entries allowed in each category. And perhaps that person will be the one who has the most sparkliest, bestest story. And perhaps that person will be one of you, who has worked so very hard to get to this point.

So I guess that settles it. I will let this deadline pass with only a little of a longing glace, knowing that I'm not walking away because of trepidation, but because this isn't the right opportunity at the right time.

Are you participating this year? If so, let us know so we can cheer from you and if not, come help me cheer from the sidelines ^_^

TLIF - It's All a Matter of Taste

2012-01-13T08:35:00.004-07:00

I was going to rant about how everyone writes for different reasons and how it's not fair for people to push their reasons onto other people. But I think I've done that before and it's Friday so I don't want to be grumpy ^_^

So instead...

No one really knows this yet, though some people may assume based on some things I've written in the past. The story I'm working on right now is different from any other novel I've worked on, finished or otherwise. My CP's don't know this yet, because I haven't been brave enough to feed out later chapters of the book (as in, they have access to less than the first 8k words). No one else knows it, because I don't tend to talk details about my WIP's to anyone else ^_^

So, what's the big secret here and why am I more than a little nervous to share this with the people who usually critique my work? It's the tone of the story. It's darker, and raunchier, than anything else I've done. It has more than one graphic scene. It also covers some topics that don't really fall under world-building (because I didn't build them, they are already a part of this world), that the average person may or may not know.

Nothing military. There are no guns in this story. Or scientific, computer-based, technical, anything like that. No, it's just the terminology and business that goes hand-in-hand with working in a strip club.

I'm not bothered by the content. This has been my favorite novel to write so far. And I'm not concerned about my CP's thinking less of me after they read it. No, I won't make jokes about their opinions not getting much lower thankyouverymuch :-P It's because they're familiar with my work and the things I've had published.

This is what has me hesitating. They're not my target audience. They never really have been, but this story pushes some different boundaries. And a portion of me is terrified that if I let them get into it, regardless of how well-intentioned the feedback is, it may not be right for the story I'm trying to tell.

I'm sure they would provide fantastic input. I trust them to be objective. But...

I'm trying to think of an appropriate analogy. It would be like taking my Volkswagen (if I owned such a thing, which I don't, because I like simplicity) to a Ford certified mechanic to help me rebuild the engine. Or...asking an Apple genius (that's what they call those people, right?) how to edit my Windows registry to disable the AckFrequency. Or...asking my Spanish tutor to help me with my Portuguese homework.

Or maybe I'm just overreacting because this is my newest baby and I adore it more than all the others combined...

What would you do?

PS: If you're one of the people I'm talking about, I hope you haven't taken this personally. I still adore you and value your input ^_^

Those (writing) moments when it's all worth it

2012-01-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

I don't have any of the distracting quote pictures today. I made it...a whole three days managing to use them? Not that anyone but me knew that's what I was trying to do. It was going to be my new 'thing' on my blog. A picture with an (inspirational or otherwise) quote every day.

But I ran out of time because...I'm to one of my absolute favorite parts of my story and I got so caught up in revisions yesterday I couldn't think of anything else. I'm going to get back to it today, but in the mean-time, this is what I was working on yesterday. 'She' doesn't get a name here, because that might ruin the surprise, right? I'm halfway through the story and...hehehe...I love it <3 (am I allowed to say that about my own story?)

“So…” Conner let the words sink in. It didn’t make any sense. “If I’m not your job any more, why are you here tonight?”

She leaned closer, face inches from his. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I wanted to see you.”

He told himself the heat crawling under his skin was purely a physical reaction. “How’d that work out for you?”

She scooted closer, nose almost touching his. “You were there, you know as well as I do. But since you’re asking, even though it didn’t go quite like I thought it would, I’m not disappointed.”

He watched her eyes, fascinated with the way the blue mirrored everything she said. “Sorry about that.”

“No you’re not.” She licked her lips. “Are you going to kiss me, or not?”

He pulled back, but not a lot, enjoying the energy between them. “What makes you think you’re one of those special few worth giving a chance?”

“What makes you think you’re more than a one-night stand?” she countered.

He didn’t have a response, so he improvised. Wrapping his fingers in her hair, he pulled her closer and kissed her. She whimpered and rested a hand on his chest, crushing her mouth against his.

Would you read more?

Never Give Up, Never Surrender!

2012-01-11T07:49:00.001-07:00

I think about quitting sometimes. No, really, it's true. I have these heavy waves of self-doubt that wash over me and make me think I'll never be quite good enough and make me wonder why I even bother trying.

And in those moments of doubt, I tell myself it's not a big deal. That it won't matter if no one ever reads one of my stories again except for me. That I'm creating for myself and no one else and who cares what the rest of the world thinks? And I tell myself that would make me happy. Or at least it would be less frustrating than not being perfect. Or maybe it wouldn't be so great...

...and then I realize that it wouldn't make me happy. That if I gave up on my writing I would always wonder if I could have done better. I would always regret that decision and would consider going back on a regular basis.

I don't want that. I don't want to always wonder what would have been if I'd only tried. At least this way I know. I know I tried, I know I didn't give up, I know my odds of making it further each time are infinitely higher than if I didn't try at all.

When I remember all of that, I can't give up. I can't walk away from writing and I can't abandon my dream of being a published novelist. Because the regret and the 'what ifs' would weigh so much more heavily on me than the stress of rejection and rewrites. Besides, the sting of a rejection or a bad critique fades with time. Giving up and never going back is forever.

How do you push through the fear and doubt?

On The Edge

2012-01-10T09:46:00.002-07:00

I'm a big fan of animation. Yeah, cartoons, if you want to put it simplistically. All kinds of cartoons. Classic Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, anime, some of the cartoons that came out in the 1990's and 2000's (Teen Titans, Pinky and the Brain, etc).

One of the things I love about cartoons, regardless of animation style or genre or country of origin, is they're not bound by the same rules we are. Any of them. If you drop an anvil on a coyote's head, he's fine the next frame, aside from being a little hungrier and more frustrated. If a boy loves a girl and she loses her memories, he can cross time and space with the help of his pure devotion, just to get them back.

You know what I love about writing? I'm not bound by the same rules as I am in real life. That's not to say the worlds I create don't have structure. Even Wile. E. Coyote, regardless of his unlimited line of credit through ACME and ability to be smooshed and dropped more times than I can count, still had some structure to his world. It was never randomly decided that he would buy a magic wand and just abracadabra that bird into his belly.

But as a writer I get to create those rules. I can bend and fold reality into whatever makes the most sense for my story, or in some cases whatever amuses me the most. I know, I still have to follow my own rules...I guess that goes hand-in-hand with becoming a creator.

I like spending time in those worlds. Toeing the line of plausibility. Walking on the edge of the furthest reaches of my imagination and seeing everything I can see, whether it's the deepest depths or the highest hopes.

Even in standard fiction I can do that. I can make my characters 28 year-old CEO's of software companies, or brilliant hackers, or, or, or...I can do anything.

But only if I'm willing to reach outside of what I know and allow myself to create the unknown.

How have you stepped outside your world lately with your writing?

A Truly Rough Draft

2012-01-09T08:33:00.002-07:00

A few years ago I took a class on design. To be clear, when I say 'class' I don't mean anything as grand as a college course. It was a two-day workshop taught by a travelling instructor that took place in a banquet room at a small local hotel.

My background is in graphics and art. I was not always the *ahem* brilliant *ahem* computer mastermind I am today. I used to want to be an artist. Or a web designer. Or a photographer. Something artistic (you know, like writing). So I had volunteered at work to help rebuild the company website, and this workshop was going to help me learn about how to make appealing layouts. I had convinced myself that it would instill in me a couple of the more visually artistic qualities I was lacking.

It didn't. I'm not even sure we covered anything more than the basics any design student learns. Things like use fonts and white-space appropriately. And the instructor spent an awful lot of time showing us how to use PhotoShop, and I have to wonder if he got a cut for every piece of software he sold.

In the end, however, I did take away one important thing. It's the only distinct thing I remember from the class. He told us, whenever pitching a design idea, draw it on paper first. Make the first rough draft presentation a pencil/pen sketch.

The reason is, the moment you start drawing a layout up on the computer, you bring in all sorts of new elements and expectations. For instance, on a piece of paper, you draw a few boxes to represent pictures and text, and maybe you write some words. It gives an idea of the layout, but no one expects the final product will look anything like that.

If you do your rough draft on a computer, first you'll spend a lot more time picking the right font for those words, and the right images to fill those image spots. And when you show it to the client, even if the words and pictures are only meant to be placeholders, the client will tend toward judging the project and concept on those details, instead of on the big picture. You've spent more time than you needed and you've given them an image that comes with unneeded preconceived notions.

And I laughed at this concept (not out loud, because that would have been rude). And over the next few years found it to be very, very true.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was out driving, enjoying the very quiet 7 am on a Saturday, with all of the people home sleeping because it was New Year's Eve and not Christmas Eve, therefore no one had to be out finishing their shopping before the stores closed for the holiday. I made a brief stop at one of the few stores open that early and found myself in the stationary section. A very pretty journal-type book caught my eye, and because I'm prone to buy these things even though I never use them, I bought it.

I took it across the street with me to a very empty diner. They sat me by my lonesome in a corner booth, took my order, brought me coffee, and left me alone. I fiddled with my phone, checked my email and Facebook even though it was 7 am on New Year's Eve and no one was actually up to be doing such things, and then I stared at my notebook. I had some thoughts in the back of my head from the revision I'm working on, and I started writing them down.

The food came and I ate and the empty plates went, and an hour later I was still scribbling. As an aside, I'm not fond of writing by hand. I'm so spoiled by my computer that my fingers don't like to grip a pen, and they protested that morning. But the thing was, I was drafting. Because of the nature of the medium, I wasn't worried about things like punctuation, or spelling, or dialogue tags. If I wanted to remember a description, I wrote a big block of descriptive text, and if I had a question for myself as the author I buried it in the narrative.

Because I knew 1 - no one would ever assume this was meant to be a final product and 2 - even if the only other thing I expected of it was for it to be legible, I'd have to transfer it to a computer so I'd have a chance to fix any glaring errors at that point.

As an example, this is what one paragraph in my notebook says (spelling and grammar errors and all, but not the bad handwriting):She asks what its like there & he's giving her a vague answer because his mind is whirring thinking about how he came back early, how Lucifer was stunned. & She's going on about Venice & how she wants to see the world. How she knows its selfish but she was hoping Loki would take her somewhere new. How its so easy to talk to him & is he sure theyve never met.

It's an oddly liberating feeling. Anything I use as an excuse to not write when I'm in front of the computer evaporated. I didn't have to worry about rules, or details, or punctuation, or spelling, or how cheesy my dialogue sounded. Because it was so very distinctly a draft.

And now I'm able to work from those notes as I get into revisions. Instead of staring at a blank computer screen wondering if I should change the font or adjust the spacing before I start writing, and wondering how the scene opens, I have it all in front of me. I have to spruce it up a little as I go, but it means I dive in right away to the writing.

On top of all of that, I've heard rumor that the handwriting is good practice. It strengthens my hands or something and reintroduces them to motions I've deprived them of since I was in school. My fingers cramp a little, but so far it's all worth it.

And there seem to be few better places for me personally to find a quiet block of time than 7 am at a Village Inn with limitless coffee and fresh toast.

How do you force yourself to start those difficult scenes and stories?

Baby Steps

2012-01-05T09:02:00.002-07:00

So I've learned something recently. It's something that will come as a surprise to anyone who's ever written anything and then tried to get it published through traditional channels. Like a big surprise. This will be something you've never heard before.

The process takes time.

Lots of it.

No. Really. Like truckloads cubed.

Oh. So that's not news to anyone else? Damn.

/lightheartedsarcasm

Here's what I'm running into. Knowing it takes time and actually living through it are two different things. And I'm not talking about the querying/publication bits. I'm stuck right now on the creation bits.

It's been a long time since I tried to polish a brand new piece of work, largely because until a year or so ago, it's not something I did. It's something I thought I was doing, but not really. I'd write a novel or a story, I'd edit it for glaring errors and awkward phrasing, and I'd be done.

And then a year ago I did something I'd never done before. I did a full-blown rewrite. Several of them, really. Short stories and a novel. As in deleting paragraphs and pages and entire chapters and replacing them with things that brought the story back together. And I was, and still am, very happy with the finished piece.

Except now I'm staring at a couple of works that are pre-that state. And I still love them, but I look at certain things and I cringe and part of my brain knows how to fix them and the rest is like "why can't it just be done. We can crank this out in a couple of days, right?"

Also, I've been reminded (again) that I don't write description well. The things I notice in a room are not the things other people notice, and the same goes for my characters. So I say the floor has carpet and walls and paint and O. M. G. what is that guy wearing and can I think of an excuse to insert myself into their conversation about Firefly?

Where someone else might notice, oh, say, that the walls are flat gray, the carpet is industrial grade and hammered even though it's only six months old, and there's a faint scent of ozone in the air because the hissing in the background means there's a leak in the heating ducts right above our four-foot high, white-noise patterned cubicle walls.

Someone came up with a solution for me. They've suggested I might try sticking to first-person narratives (not their exact words, but what I managed to take from it). I'm not big on the first-person thing, not for me anyway. I don't mind reading it, but diving that deep into a character's head, especially with some of my characters, is difficult on my psyche.

So, in short. I would like, please, if this revision could take itself from my thoughts and write itself while I sleep, changing itself to first person at the same time, and then I'll come back in about a month and edit for consistency and flow.

Or, you know. Do it the way *normal* authors do and take the entire process one step at a time.

Hey, any of you out there want to bottle that and sell it to me? I have a stack of quarters, some peppermint lifesavers, and a stick of Orbit gum...oh, and my soul ^_^

I Just Can't Let You Go

2012-01-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

The song is my new theme song for my book series. Every story has a similar theme and this song seems to encompass all of them nicely. I'm revising today (again...seems like I'm always either revising or writing, go figure), and this is playing in the background along with a small host of other songs ^_^

I spend a lot of my procrastination time on Tumblr. It's a fantastic way to ogle other people's creativity and not have to summon any of my own. I like the pretty pictures and all the quotes. I find myself drawn to a certain kind of quotes.

Those that have to do with regret, love, or not being able to move on.

And I've decided writing is like that. A creative person's tumblr.

And there is a deep-down (or closer to the surface), part of me that knows and feels and understands exactly how these all apply to life. They apply to my life, that's why I'm drawn to them.

However, they apply to the drive to write, too. That story that you try and walk away from because it doesn't love you as much as you love it, but you can't leave.

That regret you feel when you don't jump on that chance to get your work out there.

That reality you have to cope with when you want to lose yourself in a fantasy world of your making, but can't find time. Or want that author or editor to love your story as much as you do, but they...just don't love it...enough...

I suppose it makes sense that as artists, writers go through the same anguish as any artist. It might seem melodramatic to those people on the outside.

Then again, those people on the outside become tormented if their team loses a rivalry game, or throw things when their cable goes out. It's all a matter of what we're passionate about.

I don't know if I have a specific point or conclusion, I'm just kind of rambling here. I guess my point is, everyone is passionate about at least one thing. Even if it's a passion for the desire not to be passionate about anything. If yours is writing, creating, building, and dreaming, embrace it. Live through the pain, celebrate through the joy, and know that every up and down feeds your love for the written word.

A to Z Challenge Reflections

2012-01-03T06:00:00.002-07:00

I've been back blogging for two or three whole days now and I already get to take a slacker day ^_^. Every year, Arlee Bird, and a fine selection of cohorts, hosts the A to Z blogging challenge. The basic premise is to blog almost every day in April, taking Sundays off. There are more details here

I partipated last year, along with over 1,000 other people, and it was such a fantastic challange. Not to mention I got to meet some great new friends and reaquaint myself with old ones.

After all was said and done, several of us wrote up 'Reflections' posts about the entire experience. Mine is being reprinted and featured today over on the A to Z blog. Go check it out, learn more about the challenge if you're new to it, and mark your calendars for sign-up and challenge start ^_^.

Are you participating this year?

3rd Annual No Kiss Blogfest

2012-01-02T04:00:00.003-07:00

It's Jan 2, and we all know what that means, right? We've recovered from our hangovers! No, wait, that wasn't it. It was much better than that...

It's time for Frankie Diane Mallis' 3rd Annual No Kiss Blogfest. What is it? This is when you get to write a scene or post one from your favorite books, movies, or tv shows that show the almost kiss-- the rising, crushing, excruciating, longing, tension that comes when two characters get oh-so-close to kissing that you can just feel it, want it, NEED it....and then...they don't!

Check out the link above for more details and for a list of all participants. Last year was my first year to participate and it's so amazing to see the variety of 'no kiss' situations people put their characters in, or find other characters in.

I had originally picked something from a current WIP, 'Serious Game'. Scott and Rae are totally just friends. Completely. 100%. That's what they keep telling everyone...

Except inspiration struck yesterday and a short piece I was writing took a turn I hadn't expected. So I'd like to share that with everyone, instead. It's new and raw and last minute but...I like it.

The sharp sting of cold brushed her flushed cheeks when she stepped onto the balcony. In a few minutes the chill on her bare arms would be too much, but for now it was a welcome change from the heat of the crowd inside.

She slid the glass door shut, and the din of voices faded. Snowflakes swirled in the night, dancing in patches of light and mingling with the flow of her black skirt. Her heels clicked against concrete as she crossed to the edge. She rested her forearms on the waist-high cement, looking down twenty stories at the city below.

The flurries muted the city lights and sounds. Millions of tiny glows blinked back at her, and a sad smile played on her lips. She stepped out of her shoes, letting the cold ground soothe her tired feet. There was a time when she would have thought a party like this was the ultimate sign she’d made it. Now the crowd and the chatter and the insincerity were too much.

Laughter rose and fell again as someone else joined her outside. She didn’t look up. The small talk had drained her and maybe whoever it was would get the hint and leave.

“Aren’t you cold?” He brushed a loose strand of red from her face.

She inhaled slowly, focusing on his familiar scent and the heat of his fingers on her skin. Then she pushed it all away. No. Not here. Not tonight. In her peripheral vision, she saw him copy her posture, arms resting next to hers. She stared down at the streets, watching the moving lights zip past stationary ones. “I’m fine. Won’t you be missed inside?”

“I doubt it.” His shirt sleeves were rolled up twice, the blue plaid not moving in the soft breeze. Flakes of white dotted his hands and melted away. “I’m just bluffing in there. Maybe if I had some of your liquid courage.”

She looked at still-full martini glass in her hand. The delicate stem against her pale skin and too-red nails. She set the glass aside. “I hear it only works if you actually drink it.”

He straightened up, cool hand resting on her bare back. “I’m sorry you’re not enjoying yourself.”

Snowflakes caught in her lashes, blurring her view of the world for a moment. She turned to face him, not able to ignore the lingering contact and her desire for more. She didn’t close the distance between them. “I guess I’m just not the socialite you are. Or maybe it was stupid to think I could ignore seeing you with her.”

Something unreadable flashed in his blue eyes. Regret, maybe? Disappointment? In her or him? Who even knew anymore.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” She ducked her head and tried to pull away. “I should get going.”

He caught her hand in his, thumb resting on her knuckles, tracing the skin. “It’s not midnight yet.”

It felt like it should be. What time was it anyway? She could have sworn she’d been at the stupid party for an eternity. “Get back to your date.”

He laughed. Not his usual laugh, but one tinged with a bitter edge. The cold flushed his face, pink mingling with a day of stubble. “She’s passed out in a guest room.”

The information didn’t fill her with the relief she though it should. Instead it summoned a heavy wash of ambivalence. Maybe she should have finished her drink.

He glanced at his watch, sad smile matching her thoughts. “It’s time,” he said.

She didn’t get a chance to ask what he meant, as the voices rang in unison from both inside and across the city.

“Ten.”

He pulled her closer, resting his hand against her cheek.

“Nine.”

She was glad she’d stepped out of the heels. She loved being able to look him directly in the eye.

“Eight.”

He tilted his head to the side, searching her face.

“Seven.”

She shivered as a stiff breeze enveloped them and then rushed on its way.

“Six.”

He ran his other hand down her bare arm, the need for his touch warming her more than the friction of it.

“Five.”

He pulled her close, chest pressing against her.

“Four.”

She bit her bottom lip.

“Three.”

Doubt won out and she took a step back, her feelings pairing with the hurt question on his face.

“Two.”

She shook her head, unable to clear her thoughts of the image of his passed-out date. He wasn’t there with her.

“One.”

She took another step back, but not before his thumb brushed over her lips. The tender contact made her legs wobble and she tried to be subtle about leaning against the balcony.

“Happy new year,” he whispered, brow furrowed.

She turned away, letting the snowflakes on her cheeks mingle with the sparse tears.

A Year in Review

2012-01-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

I did this on my private blog and realized this has been a big year writing-wise for me, so I thought I'd take the more up-beat stuff up here. Also, laced through every single month, is:

Made some fantastic new blogging friends
Rediscovered my love for writing
Rediscovered my love for reading

January

Finished a novel revision. For the first time in my life I felt justified in saying "this book is done." and it felt REALLY good.
Submitted the novel to the Amazon Novel Breakthrough Awards, along with about 10,000 other people

February

Started Querying
Did not make it past round 1 of ABNA. But loved seeing the names of so many people I knew on the list

March

Realized that maybe my novel needed some more tweaking and wasn't actually done. Stopped querying

April

Swore I was revising my novel
Participated in the A to Z blogging challenge and loved all the new people I met

May

No really, see? I have the document open on my computer

June

Yeah, okay, I'm not really revising, because I'm working 60 hours a week. But soon...

July

Decide to write a new, sekrit novel

August

Going to a writer's conference. Need to finish those revisions.

September

At the writer's conference. I get to pitch to a literary agent, and they want to see pages...YAY! They also want 20k more words than I say I have
Dive into revisions for real. Need to add 40k more words, because story isn't ACTUALLY done.

October

Finish revisions and begin querying again. Love the feeling of accomplishment
Start plotting novel for November

November

Finish a novel
Finish another novel
Revise my query fifty more times (or four)
Write a synopsis. Get good feedback from cp's on it. Am pleasantly surprised.

December

Decide to stop querying...something isn't working
Dive into NaNo revisions.

Rinse. Repeat.

I only have one goal in 2012. Everything else is icing:

To, for the first and only time ever, finish a full, submittable revision of my second ever novel. 2011 has taught me this is what I want. Work pays the bills. Weight loss is up and down. Writing is my psychological salvation. Publishing isn't even the final goal any more. It's a goal. It's still on the radar. But the words...

What's your biggest goal this year? And welcome to 2012!

Belated SantaFest 2011 Thank You & Ongoing Hiatus

2011-12-28T09:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Holidays (any of them, all of them), everyone! I've been absent a lot lately from the online world (all of it), and will continue to be until after the New Year. No special reasons, I just burned myself out and taking a break has helped a lot. When I say writing those 150k words in Novemeber didn't impact me at all? That wasn't completely true. I've had to give my brain a break.

But, before I go I had to say a couple of things. First of all, Thank You! to everyone who participated in SantaFest 2011. It was amazing and fun and I've met so many great new bloggers. But the biggest thanks go to Laura for organizing the whole thing, and to my own secret santa for the fantastic wallpaper. You nailed it perfectly and I could tell you put a lot of thought and observation into it ^_^ (It's on my laptop now. My laptop that has had the same default background since I bought it in July).

Second, if you're not getting ready yet, the 3rd annual No Kiss Blogfest is coming up soon (Jan 2). If you haven't signed up yet and want to, make sure you go add your name to the list. If you're not planning on posting something, make sure you follow along anyway, because the entries are always stupendous. That will also be when I'll be back in blog-sphere-land-world-ville.

How is your year winding down?

When We Disagree With Popular Opinion

2011-12-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make, and I know it will come as a shock to many of you. It's something I'm sure not a single person who has ever read my blog would expect to hear.

Sometimes...I have a unique perspective on the world.

O.o!!! Weird, right?

I'm sure none of you has ever felt like that. ;-)

/sarcasm

I try and make light of it, but it's frustrating sometimes. It's something that's caused me issues in my writing style, in various critique situtions, and in the office.

I've had bosses in the past who loved it. They encouraged me to speak up in meetings and would even call me out if I was making faces in the middle of intense discussions, but not saying anything.

Those bosses were few and far between. It's not something I delve into very often. It's hard to be the dissenting voice of one in a crowd. Especially in a crowd of egos. Egos who deny their ego's existence.

When it comes to the workplace, I can usually brush it off. If I feel strongly enough about a change, I have the drive and the ability to sell it to management outside of the group conversation. I've done it before, it's just not often that things like selling life insurance (managing healthcare, advertising to grocery store customers, screeprinting, etc) bring out the passionate side in me.

When it comes to reviews, it's not so easy to do. I'm always torn there. What I think is good story-telling frequently doesn't match popular opinion. Popular opinion sells books, so when I give and/or consider feedback, I have to find that balance between what I enjoy, and what everyone else does.

Then there's the business side of publishing. I have a lot of very strong opinions about this, and for the most part I tone it down anywhere online. I was going to get into it today, but it really borders on rude and harsh...so I will keep the un-cut honesty to myself.

I've gone through a large portion of my adulthood online. As in, when I was 19 I discovered newsgroups and forums (AOL 2.0, 14.4 kbs dial-up connection, pentium 75 /geek), and I've done large parts of my socializing there ever since. I did online dating before it was an acceptable form of dating, and social networking before MySpace even had a space.

I don't say this to remind the world how terribly old and decripit I am ^_^ There is one thing that's remained consistent throughout all my time online. People's behavior in forums. Every forum. Everywhere. This includes my current critique group, although they're certainly the kindest, bestest forum I've ever belonged to and I don't want them to think I don't like them. I <3 them. And I like forums in general, or I wouldn't keep hanging out in them.

But certain topics (it depends on the site), tend to bring out a mob mentality in people. They tend to (not always, but frequently) rally around the opinion that make them as a group look the most oppressed, with only a handful of people who are willing to stand up and say "you're asking for the unreasonable, consider the other side of the story for a moment".

I will almost always back out of those arguments right away. Because 1 - I tend to be on the minority side, and 2 - No one wins an argument like that, because pride becomes more important than the original issue.

The short version of this rambling thought, sometimes I think as authors, we're all a bunch of children throwing tantrums. Myself included. Oh the pouting I do when someone doesn't like my stories. I might as well stomp my feet and pound my fists and scream.

And it doesn't even have to be when they don't like my stories. It might just be that they have a different vision of what I was trying to say. Or don't have time right now. Or it's not their thing. There might not even be any negative at all, just a different interpretation of my message than I intended, and I become a selfish 3 year-old.

The problem with that? As an amazing, supportive community, we tend to rally around that reaction. Which should be a great thing. 99.9999% of the time, I love the support I see in the writing community. But if we're doing it out of reflex. If we're soothing and supporting each other becasue it's the thing to do, or because we'd want the same if it were us, but that support doesn't help us grow past the obstacle, is it really good in the long run?

To be fair, I can think of a list of people right off the top of my head who don't fall into that trap. Writing bloggers. I see them reply to my 'I'm depressed and worthless' threads, and to other peoples. And they don't offer up the standing "I'm so sorry, you're amazing and you rock" comments. They're practical, they're realistic. They're still encouraging, but not to the point of false or meaningless hope.

I have one critique partner who is a saint to put up with me. She's a lot better at getting to her reading than I am, so she always gets through more of my writing than I do hers. (Okay, it's that way with all my cp's, I'm bad, but...). It occasionally occurs to me that our writing styles don't mesh. She writes beautiful, flowing, literary YA. I write pulpy speculative fiction for adults.

But I can't leave her. Her feedback is invaluable, first of all. And second, she's a realistic cheerleader. She's always supportive, but she's also (at least from my corner of the world), always realistic. It's not fake praise, it's solid encouragement.

And I think I've so completely lost my original point. Which was, when I think about it, about as rambling as my blog post. We do ourselves a disservice by going along with any group just because they support the popular opinion. Or going against them for the same reason. We have to do what we think is best for us and keep in mind that most people aren't out to piss on us as individuals, they're just trying, like us, to survive and thrive, even if their methods are a little different.

Or something like that ^_^

(aka I thought the feedback made sense, and if it had been me I would have taken the chance. Since it's not, you have to do what's best for you because this is your career not mine, and not anyones but yours. If it doesn't feel right to you, don't make yourself miserable by trying to make a fit that wasn't meant to be).

TLIF - That Sexy Taste of Accomplishment

2011-12-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

I just finished something at work that's been nagging me for a while now. One of those projects where almost everything was perfect, but that last 1% kept it from being completely done and cost me a lot of time in the process. I've been digging for the answer for a while now. Wracking my brain, searching google with as many variations of my keywords as I could think of, trying new and different things...and none of it closed that last little gap.

Until yesterday. I stumbled on exactly what I needed, at exactly the right time for it to make sense to me. It's possible I'd seen the article before, I don't have any idea. But yesterday, it all clicked. I tweaked, I tested, I tested some more, I tested a third time (because even though it continued to work, it made me nervous because I've been working on this for so long).

This morning I let it go. I stamped it done, and posted it to a public environment where it would impact people who weren't just me.

I like that feeling. I get that feeling every time I finish a novel or a major rewrite. Even if I know I'll have to go back for another pass, there's a sense of accomplishment in knowing that I got done what I wanted to, and that I'm happy with the results.

I'm working toward that now with my two NaNo novels. I know, its been less than a month, and I shouldn't be revising yet, but I did finish one of them more than 30 days ago, so I've given myself permission.

I'm already making some big breakthroughs in the revision that I didn't think were going to be possible at this point. I've solidified my pantheons and my gods' names (which is a much bigger relief than you might realize). And I've figured out that even though I desperately wanted this to be in first person, for the sole reason that it would fit the voice of my other novel, I've decided it can't be. It's not right for the tone of the story. I've switched back to third and I'm SOOO much happier with it.

And know that I have a fresh memory of how sexy accomplishment tastes, I'm that much more motivated to plough through this. I'm looking forward to the end and then re-reading it just for fun at least once ^_^.

How do you celebrate milestones and accomplishments?

Lemon Cream Cheese Cookies

2011-12-15T06:41:00.003-07:00

Christmas is getting close, and it's always been one of my favorite holidays. I love picking the perfect gift for the people I care about and then seeing their faces when they open it. In my younger, less anti-social (or rather, less filled with work during normal hours) days, I could wander the malls forever (back when we had more malls here. And not really forever, but for a while). I love the lights, the people, the sounds, the smells...

And the cooking. I get all kinds of domestic for Christmas. Or at least, a little. I like making sweets. The years have taught me that working with a bunch of guys (I'm frequently the only, or one of two, women on my team at any job), a lot of them single, means that food makes great gifts for my coworkers.

One year, two of my best friends at work were single guys. I found this cookie recipe and pretty much tried it out on them disguised as a Christmas gift. It went over so well that I've made it my go-to every year. I think the response was something like 'next time you get bored, if you wanted to make these again...'. Making these will occupy my kitchen this weekend, at least for a little bit, because fortunately they're really quick and easy to make.

Lemon Cream Cheese Holiday Cookies

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 3oz package cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon lemon extract (you can substitute any kind of extract here. I've used cherry and orange as well. Sharper flavors stand out better)
1 1/4 cups flour
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Red and green food color (optional)

Preparation

Preheat the oven to 350 F (176 c), grease 2 baking sheets
Beat together cream cheese and butter at medium speed
Beat in sugar, milk, and lemon (or other extract)
(optional) split mixture into two bowls. Add 2 drops of red food color to one, and 2 drops of green to the other. Divide flour into two equal parts.
Beat in flour, 1/4 cup at a time until blended.
Stir in chocolate chips

Drop rounded tablespoonfuls onto greased baking sheets, 2 inches apart.
Using a spoon, flatten each cookie slightly
Bake cookies about 10 minutes, until set and golden.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies

Disassembling that Novel

2011-12-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

I mentioned yesterday that I just finshed reading a six book series. As I read I analyzed parts of it, but not too much. I was too busy enjoying the tale. Now that I'm done, snippets of observation are floating around in my head. Instead of a reader, I've become a writer, picking apart what did and didn't work for the story.

I'm applying these thoughts to things I hear in critiques and I can tell you it's a lot easier to do to someone else's work. But since these stories have a couple of things in common with mine, it's also a way to pick apart my own work.

So...

Good
First thing that drew me into the books. In an urban fantasy universe, the main female lead was not an ass-kicking, crime-fighting, tough as nails chick with an immortal chip on her shoulder. She worked at a book store. Okay, she still had the immortal chip (she's a succubus after all). This gives us a strong female lead that doesn't immediately fall into the stereotype of the genre, but without straying so far from it that it alienates fans of the genre.

Not-so Good
In a series, in each successive book you have to spend a little time with the "previously on..." This is something that's always irritated me, way back when I read the 'Sweet Valley High' books. I get that for someone new to the series, they need that background, but for those of us who have read one or two books, or as in this case have read them all in the last couple of days, it gets tired. I don't think there's a solution for this. It's probably just a personal pet peeve anyway, but it's something I want to learn to work around in any of my series. Conveying that 'what came before' knowledge without boring paragraphs of info-dump.

Good
I enjoyed all of the male romantic potentials, especially the main romantic interest. Each of them was unique, personality-wise, though they all tended a little too much toward coddling the main character. But really, the main romantic lead was the character I kept reading for. The one person in the book I could really relate to and cheer for.

Not-so Good
This also ties back to the fact I didn't really care much for the main character. She was too...I dunno...I just didn't like her very much. I didn't have a problem with her job for hell, or her morals, it was all true to the character. And honestly, the character was believable and well-written (to me anyway), she just wasn't someone I liked or could relate to. I think this is a personal thing, but something any author has to be aware of. There were still characters to keep me invested in the whole thing, just not the main character.

Good
By halfway through book 3, I had the overall plot figured out. I knew how the series would end. You might think that's bad, but the thing is, I kept reading anyway. I wanted to see the details. I wanted to feel the emtion. I wanted to live it through the author's words anyway. That's good story telling. I'd like to reach a point in my own writing where I can put an equal balance on twists and surprise combined with compelling writing.

Not-so Good
Book 5. Like the entire middle of the book. I've been hearing a lot recently that a main character needs to act, not be acted on, in order to move a story forward. Something that kept all the other stories moving was the main character acting. Book 5, was all about rescuing her. *yawn*. Even worse, it had weakly contrived plot elements to tell what was going on in places she couldn't be, and at least 1/4 of the book was...more flashbacks and backstory. Pages and pages of variations on things we'd already read. Not just a couple of paragraphs.

Now that I have these overall elements, I'm starting to compare them to my work. There was more. How the author handled sticking multiple gods in the same universe, for instance. But that's for a different post (maybe).

Do you ever use in-depth analysis of someone else's writing to help you polish your own?

Reading the Days Away

2011-12-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

First of all, thank you to those of you who commented on my query. You're input was fantastic and valuable and exactly what I needed. I wanted to comment on the blog itself, but apparently, due to some ironic sense of humor from my diety, I can't comment on my own blog right now :-P

I've been reading for about two days straight. A couple of months ago, the first book in the Richelle Mead Succubus series was on sale for Kindle, so I picked it up. It was good. I was sucked in and enjoyed the story and was pleased that I'd finally found a book/voice/setting similar to the world I created (without being too similar).

And it took me a little while to move on to Book 2, but I did eventually. And then I moved on to Book 3, and I didn't really have much of a chance to read it, until this weekend. I hit the halfway mark and either the series hit it's stride or I did. Since Sunday, I've read the second half of Book 3 (possibly Succubus Dreams), and books 4, 5, & 6. (I'm a fast reader, and I was very pleased for that).

So, go read the books if you want urban fantasy that's a little outside the normal tropes. I give them a solid 4 out of 5 stars. And for the record, it's the only series I've read more than a book or so of in a long time.

As for me, now I'm going to analyze the books deeper. They've got so many similar elements to my world, and I'm going to take a closer look at why it worked and how the author kept it all from being confusing. I'm fascinated by this concept and I think I have a base understanding of how she did it, but now my analytical mind wants to know more.

That and I should probably finish getting ready for the holidays...maybe...we'll see ;-)

What are y'all up to?

TLIF - Pleading for Query Help

2011-12-09T05:43:00.000-07:00

The query is confusing, and/or
It doesn't show the aspects of the story that make it unique to the genre, and/or
The story just isn't an interesting concept

My amazing and kind and brilliant and wonderful CP's have all helped me pore over this so many times I think they must be sick of it. So I'm asking for honest opinions (you have no idea how hard it is for me to ask for that. That's how desperate I am to make this work :-))

For all the things Ronnie doesn't know, the one thing she's certain of is sane people don't hear voices.

As an immortal servant of her god, Ronnie hunts demons. Or rather, she collects them from the inanimate objects they call home and holds onto them until further notice. Since she’s expected to serve without question, no one explained why she’s doing this, why no one else can, or why gods she’s never met want her dead but can’t seem to destroy her.

When the captured shadows start whispering things only she can hear, she can’t decide which is worse: that they chatter nonsensically, or that one wants her body for itself.

Then there’s the guy at the local diner whose aura makes her feel like she’s being flayed with a red-hot knife. Not to mention the sexy god whose presence seems to keep the voices quiet. Finding out the truth about both leads Ronnie to a discovery she never expected: she’s made from the recycled parts of an ancient god-killer, and one of the voices is a carry-over of the original.

Caught up in a divine plot, Ronnie must decide if her loyalties lie with a god doesn’t hesitate to destroy his servants on a whim, or one who believes every deception brings him a step closer to meeting his goals. Neither choice is appealing, leaving her searching for a third option. If she can’t figure out who to trust to help her get rid of the voices, she’ll spend the rest of eternity in a cell in the back of her head, watching herself destroy Elysium and Earth.

ELYSIUM’S CONSPIRACY is an 87,000 word fantasy with an urban-punk twist. It will appeal to readers who enjoy Neil Gaiman, Margaret Atwood, and Richelle Mead.

Character Goals and Motivation

2011-12-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

First of all, if you haven't yet don't forget to sign up for Santa-Fest 2011. Celebrate the spirit of giving with us for the holidays and make some new friends. (There are only a few more days left to sign up. That means I'll stop nagging soon, but it also means you should get in now while there's still time ^_^)

I don't have a catchy clever title today. I've been thinking about this, because, well, revisions, right? I have to start putting cohesive structure around my story.

The concept of goals and motivation is one that's perplexed me for a while now. I mean, I get it in a really vague kind of ethereal way, but have always had trouble distinguishing the two. Until I read a really straight-forward explanation today that cemented it in my mind.

Motivation - what the character wants
Goals - how they plan on getting it
Conflict - what keeps them from getting it

You probably all already know this, but I have to talk it through to get it ^_^

So, 'it' can be anything, right? It can be an external or physical thing. Maybe they want the Holy Grail, and they plan on getting it by galloping across the countryside on foot, using coconuts to pretend they have horses, and Frenchmen with cow catapults are keeping them from getting it.

Or it can be internal. Maybe she wants to be taken seriously for her thoughts and ideas. She plans on earning that by sharing a brilliant idea with someone who will appreciate it and can help her execute it. She's kept from that recognition by someone who can't see the idea because of the person it came from.

This second one is what I'm dwelling on, in case anyone wondered. The story is written from three POV's. To be clever I tried to make sure every character got equal screen time. So every three chapters, each one of them gets a POV chapter. I'm thinking I might have to lose the fairness in order to tell the right story. Because if each scene needs to showcase a character's goals, motivation, and conflict, and I've picked a POV character whose goals aren't threatened in that chapter...no conflict. Or at least not enough.

I've been through this pain before. Last time I revised a story (you know, a month ago). And I never quite got it all straight back then. In fact, it might be good I shelved the book because I still can't tell you what Ronnie/Elle/Allie's motivation was. Or apparently, what her name is. I mean, yeah it was to get rid of the voices. But apparently that's boring. Being driving to rid onesself of the voices in their head.

/tangent

So I figure I need to secure this in my head before I get too far into revisions this time. Knowing what motivates my three main characters and how it changes as the book moves forward will keep things interesting. Right?

Crap...something tells me I have a lot of work ahead of me.

But that's the fun of it all, right? Getting to know your characters better than you even know yourself? If we had to know this kind of information about ourselves in order to get through life, could we do it?

Hmm...philosophical thought...

Turns Out I Really am a Girl

2011-12-07T08:00:00.016-07:00

First of all, if you haven't yet don't forget to sign up for Santa-Fest 2011. Celebrate the spirit of giving with us for the holidays and make some new friends.

My two NaNo novels had one big thing in common this year. For the most part it's the only noticible similarity, since one is contemporary fiction and one is urban fantasy...

The narrators are both male and both came from the same source inspiration. Over the years the original character has split into two, earning two stories, but they still share a lot of common traits. One of the more obvious ones (since it's taken me years to convince myself they need to look different, and they almost do now), is they're both heavy womanizers.

I was reading through some of what I wrote last month, and I came across something in one of the stories that made me pause, but only for a moment. I raised an eyebrow at my own choice of words, wondered why it had never stood out to me before, and managed to justify it in my mind and move on.

Until I came across the exact same phrase in the other novel. It's not a long phrase. It's real simple and straightforward. And so completely feminine and my voice that there's no way either of these characters thought it that way.

I have each of them checking out a woman. And admiring her curves. Just like that. That subtle, indirect, and vague. Not outloud, but in their heads. Not thinking "Wow, nice rack" or anything even more direct (which both of these guys are). But "nice curves".

And now I have to be extra on my alert when I revise and make sure these men aren't given my much more feminine voice when they're admiring the female form. I had to sit down the other night with Ay and say "So...Conner...he's what? A 'leg' guy?"

She and I agreed on Conner, not completely on Zach. But close enough. And in order to keep them sounding authentic, I have to make sure I nail that aspect of their personalities. It's at their core, so I don't figure it's something I can skim over.

How do you keep an eye on voice authenticity?

So Close You Can Taste It

2011-12-06T08:00:00.006-07:00

First of all, if you haven't yet don't forget to sign up for Santa-Fest 2011. Celebrate the spirit of giving with us for the holidays and make some new friends.

Next, and equally as important: Frankie Diane Mallis has opened sign-ups for the Third Annual No Kiss Blogfest. If you're not familiar with this, it's a fantastic lot of fun. Even if you are familiar with it, it's fun. The basic concept is, on January 2 (after we've all had a chance to recover from it being the last year of our lives...2012 people...Mayan Calendar? Oh come on, it was funny...*ahem*), post a 'non-kiss' on your blog.

It can be any sort of almost-kiss. A scene from your current WIP, a fresh short story written just for the event, or a scene from a movie. Frequently the anticipation is so much hotter than the event, and an almost-kiss that doesn't quite happen is some intense anticipation. Make us swoon.

Here is my offering from last year. It'll be a blast, join us!

Santa-fest 2011 is a Go!

2011-12-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

So, last week I was catching up on my blogs and was oh so very lucky to stumble on a new post at the perfect time. Laura @ Daily Dodo had a brilliant idea, and I'm fortunate enough to get to help :-D

The concept is simple - we'd like to celebrate with as many people as possible. We're hosting a Secret Santa-fest. You sign up, and using a random number generator, we'll assign someone to gift you and someone for you to gift.

The gifts are all based on your imagination, and we're all creative people here so they should be spectacular. They should be free, and email-able.

Some ideas are:

Poems or images created specifically for your secret friend.
An opportunity to guest post with you (once your name is revealed, of course)
A page/query/synopsis or other critique of their writing
A blog badge
The list goes on

The Basics

Though it’s not mandatory – I’d love it if you were a follower here / at Laura’s (Go on, go follow her if you're not yet. I'll wait...back?)

Sign up on our linky-list by the 12th December – this will ask for name, blog address and email address – these are necessary for the whole thing to work, but don’t worry – we won’t pass your email on – just the blog address! The list will close promptly and we busy elves will get to it....

On the 13th December you will be emailed the Blog address of the person YOU are creating a gift for (just so you know - it isn't a direct pairing - just because you're creating for them doesn't mean that they're the same person creating for you!)

Email us your gift by the 19th December... us busy elves will start digitally boxing your presents.

On Christmas morning, every single person who signed up will receive their special bloggy gift.

Though this isn't technically a blog-hop, we've got a linky set up. This will help us with sign-ups, but it's also a great opportunity to make some new holiday friends. We recommend checking out everyone's site when you have a moment, whether or not you're gifting them. You have a couple of weeks to make the rounds, and there's so much fun out there that it will be worth your time.

One last thing, all gifts will be sent from santafest(at)hotmail(dot)co.uk, so make sure to add the email address to your filter list if you have one. Only Laura and I have access to this email, and we promise not to spam anyone ^_^

So what are you waiting for? Sign up below and let's all celebrate together!

An Avengers Rant

2011-12-03T08:00:00.001-07:00

This was meant to be a tiny rant for the morning, but it turned full-blown. It's not a popular opinion, as far as I can tell, but it's been nagging me for a while.

For anyone who didn't know, I'm an 'Avengers' fan. The movies, not the comics (sorry, real fans). Because even though I grew up all sorts of geeky and on comics, every single one of the core Avengers was so far at the bottom of my list that I cringed when I heard their names.

Captain America? Meh...Superman for a different publisher (why I'm not a Superman fan is a story for a different day). Iron Man? Guy in a metal suit. Big deal (yeah, yeah, I know, big guy, metal suit, take that away what are you? Genius, millionaire, philantropist playboy). Thor? (comic Thor) Blond dude with a hammer. The Hulk/David Banner? What kind of super hero spends half his time out of control and the other half moping about how to not be?

This was my opinion of the original comic book characters. Hate me for it if you'd like, but Spiderman and Batman were the only heroes for me.

And then I saw the Iron Man movies and...*sigh*...I was hooked. (It wasn't Thor that pulled me in, Loki was just a bonus). I know a lot of women who like these movies. What's not to like? Realistic people stuck in comic-book like situations and....lots of hot guys. I had this confirmed this morning with a borderline (thanks to innuendo) offensive conversation on Facebook. I <3; my writer friends.

Seriously. I still think Captain America is a little too Superman, but Chris Evans?

*ahem*

Anyway...here's my point, because I usually (though not always) get there eventually. The banners above came out about a month ago for the Avengers movie next summer. The internet fanbase exploded, shared, sighed, drooled...myself included.

And then people started pointing out the Scarlett Johansson/Black Widow picture. Cuz...if you noticed...total butt shot in that skin tight body suit. And all I heard for the next couple of days was how sexist that banner was (it's my favorite, btw, because...well...Loki). Would people feel the same if the guys were showing off their junk?

Here is were I have the unpopular opinion. They are. Those guys in those posters, every single one of them (except maybe Captain America, *pout*) is angled to show off their physical assets, whatever they may be. Did you see Hawkeye right next to her? One, in a similar pose, and two, bare arms, all muscle definition. Iron Man? That freaking suit is posed so he looks as buff as Thor. And Thor...

So, ladies, we got to sit through five movies with hot, sexy heroes. All of whom fell for the intelligent, grounded woman in their lives. Every single one of those movies. And in case you missed it, Black Widow completely pwned about every single guy in Iron Man 2 and it wasn't her movie. And we're going to whine because Black Widow's butt is on an Avenger's Banner?

Don't misunderstand (which someone probably will anyway), I'm not being all gung-ho about the sexualization of this character. Exactly the opposite. What I'm saying instead, is if you'd like to see her dressed conservatively, that's fantastic. Make sure all your male leads are as well. Lose the form-fitting rubber and codpieces.

TLIF - What I Did With My NaNoWriMo

2011-12-02T08:58:00.000-07:00

AKA - a tiny snippet from 'Apathy's Hero'

It seems like everyone who participated is doing their NaNoWriMo wrap-ups, after-thoughts, crashes...and I'm a trend follower (but not really), so I wanted to as well.

I wrote a lot of words. A lot more than I've ever written before in a single month. Two full novels. So my version of a wrap-up is a snippet from one of these unedited beasts. (Language warning. Conner and Lexi don't have the cleanest vocabularies)

Apathy's Hero

Six hours, three sets, and fifty dollars later, I waited outside the dressing rooms. During that time I had managed to glean that the new girl’s name was Lexi and that no one knew anything else about her. Or at least that’s what they were saying. Tony had frozen when I’d asked about her, reinforcing what I’d seen on stage. She had something to do with Umbrifer.

“Are you the welcoming committee?” A teasing lilt interrupted my thoughts.

I smiled, doing a quick comparison now that we stood on the same ground. In heels she was taller than me, but I didn’t suspect that would be the case without. “I’m Conner. Security. You ready to leave for the evening?”

“I don’t know.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “It’s kind of nice here. Do I have to?”

Sarcasm. I liked it. I bit back my amusement and decided to go for the dim-witted response. “You do. But you can always come home with me if you’d like.”

She started walking, turning so she could see me. It was brighter back here than in the main club, illuminating more of her features. “About that. Listen, thanks for all the money tonight. Now I can afford those sexy-but-tacky heels I saw on clearance at the outlet mall.”

All right, so ignoring the sarcasm wouldn’t be an option. The corner of my mouth pulled up against my will. She was attractive and at least a little witty. I could handle an entertaining grudge fuck. “Stiletto, I hope.”

She snickered, biting her bottom lip and raising an eyebrow instead. “Chunky. Stiletto, really? How tacky. At least now I know you’re not gay. Your girlfriend dresses you, then?”

Pulling a pack of smokes from my front pocket, I watched as she navigated the dark hallway without ever looking behind her. Impressive. “I think a girl bought me clothes once. The jeans wouldn’t stay up, and the shirt was two-sizes too big.”

Lexi laughed. “I can’t picture you in jeans, and I’ve only known you a few minutes.”

She was prettier when the expression was genuine, and my smile grew. “You’re observant. Most people aren’t. That’s why I don’t date.”

We pushed into the night, cool air and bright moonlight rushing in around us. Keeping the glow off my skin was second nature after thousands of years. She didn’t do as good a job of suppressing what little power she had, but she also wasn’t the daughter of the goddess of the moon and hunt. Her glow was dim in the faint natural light. It gave her a soft sparkle.

“But you’re willing to tap the new dancer at work because…why?" she asked. "I’m a pity lay or a notch in the bedpost?”

I stuck a cigarette to my lips and lit up, remembering at the last minute to use the lighter in my front pocket and not the moonlight pulsing through my veins. The banter was energizing, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was having fun. “Who said I wanted to sleep with you?”

She shoved her hands in her pockets, pulling down the waistband of her ultra-low-rise jeans another notch. “You can always come home with me if you’d like,” she mocked.

Damn, she was good. I took a drag and let the smoke drift into the night, watching it vanish in the shadows. It took some will-power not to stare at the smooth skin exposed between where her shirt ended and her jeans started. “I never said anything about sex.”

Her lips twisted, not completely hiding her amusement. “Nice. Can I ask you something?”

I shrugged. Might as well have some more fun. “About six inches.”

She looked like she was struggling to keep the smirk off her face. “So, one that’s it? And two, what makes you think I care?”

Perfect. I kept my expression innocent. “It’s bigger than average. And, I mean, it’s your job, so I thought you might have noticed.”

A pink tinge crept over her cheeks and her joy faded. “My. Job?”

Finally, I had one up on her. I hid my smugness and took another drag of my cigarette. “Well yeah. The pole on the main stage, it’s got a bigger diameter than most. It makes it awkward for some of the new girls. It didn’t look like it threw you off though.”

She bit her bottom lip, rocking her her heels again. A short laugh slipped out. “Awesome. Can I actually ask you something?”

“Sure.” This was more fun than I had expected.

“How is it you can deck the bar owner and not get canned? And for someone who claims to be the devil, he sure did take a lot of damage from your fist.”

Any plans for the weekend?

But...Why? Good vs. Bad Questions

2011-12-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

It's taken me over a week to write this blog post. It's been in my head, and I got as far as clicking the 'New Post' button and writing a title and then...I open it every day and stare at it and don't finish the thought.

It's not because it's a difficult or contraversial subject. It's pretty far from it, at least in my opinion. It's because my state of mind doesn't support being verbose right now.

I'm going to publicly state it's because I wrote too many words last month and have run out. It's not the real reason, but it sounds good on screen ^_^

Anyway...questions, right? I've been thinking about this, because it's something that's nibbled at the back of my sanity lobe in my brain for as long as I've been getting critiques on my writing.

On the one hand we hear that questions keep someone reading. They turn the page because they want to see what happens next. If all the questions are answered, there's no reason to move forward.

On the other hand we hear things like "I had too many questions, it was confusing. This kept me from reading further."

And my poor little gray-matter would melt because on the surface, the two statements so completely contradict each other.

Because so rarely does anyone giving this advice stop to point out there's a difference between good and bad questions. People have tried to explain this concept to me, but it's taken a long time for it to click. I'm kind of slow sometimes.

It's finally coming together in my brain, though. Which is recongealing even as I type. Sort of. I've been trying to put some structure around this concept to make it easier to grasp...let's see if I can.

A bad question is the kind that confuses the reader. When they say "Wait. The snurble just flarked the rankle with a gorb? WTF?" That's a bad question. If the message conveyed is so completely out of context to your reader that they can't even picture if the scene is good, bad, sad, happy, funny, romantic, etc, they can't get into it. They won't know if they need to keep reading, because they don't know what they're reading.

I read a first chapter yesterday that had this effect on me. I wish I could say otherwise because it was a published book by an author I enjoy. I decided to try a new series of theirs and...two paragrahs in I was confounded by the rankle and the gorb.

So a good question would be the opposite of that. Right? I think that makes sense. A good question would be "okay, Maryanne just decided to talk to Jake because they're having relationship issues. How will Jake respond?" There's enough information about the character and the situation to know what has happened, and that makes you want to see what will happen next.

I think this is something that's always an issue in my writing. I assume (not consciously) that the reader sees the subtext that is my thoughts and therefore can draw logical conclusions. It never occurs to me to explain the snurble until I've already lost them during the flarking.

So I'm making a conscious effort to keep the snurbles in my narrative flark free until I place them in context.

What's your thought on the whole thing?

TLIF: But What Happens Next?

2011-11-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

Totally unrelated, but something I'm absolutely infatuated with this morning:

The funny thing is, I loved Tom Hiddleston as Loki. I thought he made that role. And when I picture my Loki, they're not the same at all. They have similarities, but he's not the man I see in that role.

Which is so completely not my point. I have a confession to make. I'm a plotter. I've tried to deny this for a long time. I've insisted to myself that as long as I know the general idea of they story, or even better just have the characters in my head, I can write an entire novel.

This is not a true statement. I've only ever managed it once.

My plots are not sweeping epics in their own right. I don't know how anyone writes 20-40 page plots. That boggles my mind and impresses the hell out of me. I don't have that kind of attention span.

My plots are a series of bullet points. They say which characters are in a scene, what the main character's goal is, and what the important elements are to reveal in the scene. If I have more ideas around that particular scene, like setting or dialogue, those make it in too. But for the most part, they say things like:

Conner sees Ronnie and Kii show up at the bar, and he’s aggravated when Kii abandons his date, but sees an opportunity to find out without anyone looking over his shoulder what Ronnie is up to. He’s talking to her when Lexi shows up. He backs off and gets back to work, but something about Lexi is sticking in the back of his head.

That becomes an entire chapter. Side note: as I skimmed my outline I realized that Conner is aggravated in almost every single bullet point. Which makes me think "Apathy's Hero" is a bit of a misnomer and I should call the story "Aggravation's Champion" instead.

/tangent

So yeah...I'm done pretending. I can't just sit down and let my characters take me through a story. They have to have a direction before I start pushing toward my word count.

If you're not a plotter, how much do you know before you start the story? If you are a plotter, are you one of those big, sweeping outline people, or more of a generic timeline type person?

The Writers' Envelope

2011-11-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

AKA - why we have to stand out from the crowd.

My father-in-law has a theory he calls the 'envelope theory'. The basic premise is we all live in an enclosed space (like an envelope). When it comes to being social, we tend to interact with other people who live in the same envelope. An envelope is defined by a combination of things like religious and political beliefs, hobbies, habits, etc. Not all of those things have to be there, but the things that matter to you the most tend to be.

Because we surround ourselves with these people, sometimes we forget that the entire world isn't like that. Our world is, so it's easy to believe everything is.

For instance, as writers a lot of us spend our time in a writers' envelope. We hang out in the blogsphere together, we hang out on Twitter together, we hang out on Facebook together, I assume some of you even hang out with other writers in real life. I'm a social hermit and don't like people so I don't hang out with anyone in real life (a statement which is about to be negated by my story, but doesn't it sound all reclusive and stuff?).

Our writer friends probably aren't our only friends. For instance, I also frequent technical envelopes. In my technical envelope, everyone knows the difference between a hacker and a virus, and when I say "that's because you dropped the leading zeroes" it means something. This is where my two worlds don't blend well, because it appears as though a lot of creative people are not technical people...but that's not my point. Not completely.

I was talking to a friend yesterday. A technical friend, not a writer friend. I said "I'm writing a romance novel next." In my mind this means "I'm taking a break from fantasy, I'm diving into contemporary fiction, and all of the magic gets left behind while I let my characters scream at each other until they kiss."

Friend said something along the lines of "That's cool. Is it going to be more like a Harlequin novel..."

I cringed and shook my head

Friend continued "or like Twilight?"

I raised an eyebrow. Friend knows how I feel about Twilight, and with any luck that my opinion has nothing to do with sparkles. Friend said "Not that I'm comparing your work to..."

My brain was already whirring in the background, trying to dissect this question. To me the actual question gave me two options to pick from:

Harlequin romance = category romance that comes in under 70k words, has a distinct hero and heroine who fall in love despite manufactured hardship and is formulaic and meant to be devoured in an afternoon and is the same plot over and over, just a different setting
Twilight = paranormal romance for teenagers which features a weak female protagonist I want to punch in the hole in her chest to put her out of her misery so she stops relying on the opinions of (creepy-pedo stalker, or part-animal(bestiality anyone?)) men to make her a complete person.

All of this passed through my head in the matter of seconds it took Friend to ask their question. On top of that, I also started to consider how to compare my story to something more like a well-made chick flick, or contemporary romance like 'Making Waves'.

My brain is a busy place.

And then Friend said "You know, in terms of sex. R or PG-13?"

Oh.

And then my brain stopped trying so hard. It occurred to me at that point that this was a technical friend, who would happily to tell me that if I wanted to learn a new programming language, I needed to understand patterns. This was not a writer friend who could explain in three sentences or less why magical realism is different from contemporary fantasy, and who their favorite authors are in each. (though honestly, I've never had anyone do this, and I'd be fascinated to see someone with an answer).

The entire brief conversation was a flash of revelation in the midst of everything else we were talking about. In case anyone ever wonders what I'm thinking (yeah, I didn't think so), this was all running in the back of my head while we moved on to other topics, which yes, I heard completely.

I was reminded that most readers are not writers. Friend is a voracious reader. More so than me, definitely. And even knows other writers, but...doesn't hang with y'all the way I do. It reminded me that the average reader walks into a bookstore, looks at a cover and a blurb and decides based on that two second glance whether or not to buy. They might have a recommendation from a friend that sends them to the right section. Or they might have a favorite author and they're looking for more of their work. In the same section they bought the rest of said author's books.

They're not wandering through the entire book store (or, Loki forbid, all of Amazon or bn.com), and reading every blurb and scanning the first fifty pages of every book before they decide what to read. The (probably) haven't been reading the writer's blog through their entire publication journey (we're talking about the average reader here, not all readers). They don't care if 'it gets better in the middle', or if 'the blurb doesn't do the story justice' or 'if you just knew how unique it was you'd want to read the entire thing'.

If they don't know you personally, they don't worry about telling you the story just isn't that good. They don't care if you earn out on your advance. They're just looking for something to read that will help them escape for a few hours because sometimes life is brutal and books are a way to ignore that temporarily.

So...how are you going to get noticed outside your envelope?

Novel Manuscript Formatting: Default Settings

2011-11-15T09:02:00.001-07:00

As a beginning writer, it seems like the most difficult part of writing a novel is the writing. Once we get into the process we realize there's so much more to it than just getting words on paper. There are countless websites and blogs out there about the publishing process: how to query a literary agent, how to write a logline, how to polish your work, and on and on.

The one thing that's difficult to find is comprehensive information about how to use the technology that goes hand in hand with using a computer to write. This is a series of posts about how to coerce your word processor into making your novel presentable. If you have any requests you'd like to see covered, please let me know in the comments.

I'm working on a Windows system with newer software. If you're looking for older versions of Word, or for Mac instructions, let me know that as well and I'll get it posted.

Novel Manuscript Formatting: Microsoft Word 2007/2010

There are at least two different ways you can format your manuscript into a recognizable standard. One is before you start writing and one is after you finish. For those of you who start out in Scrivener and then move to Word once you've got a draft or two finished, I have tips for you too, but that's a different post.

Default Style
If you're starting from scratch, staring at that blank screen in Word that's so intimidating, this is a fantastic way to waste a few seconds. At least, the first time around.

Open Microsoft Word (heh, I suppose that's a given), and go into a new document.

There are a series of tabs across the top of the screen that say 'File', 'Home', 'Insert', etc. If you're not already on 'Home', click on it.

Right click in the main document, and select 'Font' from the drop-down menu.

Under 'Font', select either 'Times New Roman' or 'Courier New'. Either is a standard. Courier takes up more space on the page so if you want it to look like you'r novel is really long, Courier works better ^_~. To the right of that is font size. Select '12'.

Click 'Set as Default'. A new prompt will come up and ask "Do you want to set the default font to (font name and size) for: This document only, or All documents pased ont eh Normal.dotm template". If you want these settings to apply every time you create a brand new word document (recommended), says "All documents..." and click 'OK'

Right click on the blank page again. This time click on 'Paragraph' in the menu.

Under the paragraph tab, go to the 'Indentation' section. In the 'Left' box, highlight whatever is in there and type .50. In the drop-down next to it that says 'Special', select 'First Line'. This will automatically indent every first line of a new paragraph without having to use tab.

Under 'Spacing', set the 'After' to 10 pt. Uncheck box that says "Don't add space between paragraphs of the same style. In the drop-down for 'Line Spacing' set it to 'Single'.

Click 'Set as Default'. A new prompt will come up and ask "Do you want to set the default aligment, indentation, and spacing of the paragraphs for: This document only, or All documents pased ont eh Normal.dotm template". If you want these settings to apply every time you create a brand new word document, says "All documents..." and click 'OK'

Tip: If you have an existing manuscript you'd like to do this with, before following the steps above, press 'Ctrl'+'A' on your keyboard. This will select all text in the document. Then follow the steps above to apply these formatting changes.

If you have any existing tabs at the beginning of paragraphs, you can clear them all out. Press 'Ctrl' + 'H' to open the Find/Replace menu. At the bottom left corner is a button that says 'More >>'. Click it. (If it says 'Less >>', don't click it, it's already open).

At the bottom of the 'More' menu, is a button that says 'Format'. Click that, and then select 'Tabs...'. A new window will open. Leave the 'Tab Stop Position' box blank. Make sure 'Left' is selected under 'Alignment'. Click 'Clear All'. Click 'OK'.

Coming in future installments:

How to set up chapter headers so they auto-number/renumber as neccessary.
Setting up headers/footers/page numbering/cover pages
How to export from Scivener in a default format
Whatever else there's a need for.

The Story I Would <3 to Write

2011-11-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have sooo many casts of characters in my head. They all live in different universes and have different stories, and for the most part two different genres. I have a slew of contemporary fantasy stories in my brain. I've got one about psychics I don't really bring up much. I have a couple of different cyber-punk casts. Even a high-fantasy-meets-steampunk group of characters. And the people who live in my Apathy's Hero universe.

But there's one cast of characters I fixate on even more than my angels, Greek heroes, and Norse gods. They were my first. The first characters I tried to write into a novel. The first novel I wrote. They've grown and evolved so much since then. That was high school (I almost did the math, it almost made me cry, so I'm not going to say how many years ago that was). I've matured, they've matured, they're adults now though they didn't grow up as fast as I did. Somehwere along the way they managed to find a way to stay 28 eternally. #jealous

Here's the thing, way back then I knew their story. It was gripping, and dramatic and it was a love story. That's all it was. Childhood friends realizing how much they love each other through the perils of life and general overall existence and cheating boyfriends.

Then I told someone my idea, and they said "And...?"

I said "And what?"

They said "It's just a love story? There's not a character arc, there's no other trauma the characters have to deal with?"

And I said "Of course there is. Her boyfriend cheated on her with her bestfriend who's pregnant now, and her childhood friend just confessed his love. That's traumatic."

They said "There's no drug addiction or screaming parents or suicidal depression or anything like that?"

That was the point where I abandoned the story. I mean, not completely. Not at first. I tried to give them all these deep-seated flaws. And I succeeded. One of them became an alcoholic because his father put too much pressure on him. One of them was sexually abused by an uncle who kept her family in the ranks of upper-middle class as a bribe. One of them had image issues and almost killed her self by mistake with diet and sleeping pills. One was a gay football player. And one actually did kill themself.

Yay! I had three dimensional characters and I could write these people I loved into such a tramatic story that everyone else would weep for them.

Ever try and fit that much trauma into one book, and focus on all of it?

But I've continued to try. Two years ago, for NaNo, I figured out how to make the story work. I'd grow the characters up, I'd put some of their flaws in the past where they belonged, and give them a very new drama to share. Hostile takeover sounds dramatic, right?

And I wrote it. And I struggled to eek out 50,000 words, and I managed. And Holy Wow. It was boring when I was done. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the way the computer and legal industry work, but it doesn't actually play out much like 'The Social Network'.

Which came out right after I finished my first draft. Right when I was deciding how to fix my story. I love that movie. Not that that's related. Not completely.

Late last week I sat down to try and fix this story. I already know that what I wrote two years ago is all backstory. It gets scrapped, more or less. But...I started outlining, and suddenly I knew how it all worked. I've never written an outline like this before. Every chapter had plot points, tension, character arc, all that good kind of stuff.

And when I got done outlining, I had to make a confession. And I think if I had been able to make this confession 10 years ago, this might have been easier, but where would the learning process be in that case? This isn't contemporary fiction with a deep-seated message about corporate culter and the strength of women. It's not literary and profound and stunning. It won't change the world. (At least, I assume as much).

It's a love story. A romance. A story of childhood friends realizing how much they love each other through the perils of life and general overall existence and well-intentioned but jealous best friends.

I've still got insider trading charges, a hostile takeover, and an intellectual property lawsuit. But since I don't write thrillers or crime dramas, those aren't my story. I'm finally okay with the idea that the relationship can be the primary plot and the rest is allowed to drive that. It won't kill me, and will probably actually make me happier, if I allow this to be a romance novel.

Now, in two weeks when I'm at 50k words and don't know how the last 1/4 of the book goes, I may not feel the same way. I may want to jab an ice pick in my skull and never write romance again. But...I would <3 to finally write this story, and give these characters the next step in life they deserve.

Does anyone else struggle for a solid story to place their beloved characters in?

SEO & Self-Promotion, an Introduction

2011-11-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

Recently there has been a lot of buzz in writer-blog land about whether or not a writer blog is the best way to build a fiction platform. On the one hand, we're writers, so we're blogging about what we know. On the other hand, that means we attract other writers to our blogs, not readers. Then again, other writers feel our pain and will do things like spread the word to non-writer friends and family, but if they don't...

You see the back and forth of it all? There are pros and cons. But I've been pondering this entire topic because it runs deeper that that. I know someone who's spent the last few months trying to move his website up in the search engines. SEO - search engine optimization. In other words, if someone goes to google and types in his product name, he wants his website to show up on the front page. Ideally in the top three listings, without paying for a sponsored spot.

The basic concept is, establish yourself as an expert in a field, then people will want to read about you, and link to you, and talk about you. Links back to your site = more attention from search engines (it's not quite that straightforward, but that's the real basic concept).

I've been listening and learning as he goes through this process, and in the back of my head I've been thinking "swell, but how do you apply that to a writing blog where the only thing I'm selling is myself and if I'm lucky, my books?"

And in the round-about way my mind works, the thought starts to tie back to the writer-blog conversation. Here's the thing about any website, writer blog or otherwise: you have to stand out from your peers to get noticed. We're all talking about our writing process, the rules, submissions, book deals, etc. A lot of it is the same content, just shared from different perspectives. And the blogs that get the most repeat traffic are those that present it in a manner that the most people can relate to.

I am not that blog. That's not a tinge of self-doubt or self-effacing or anything like that. It's the truth. I know some of you read every day and I absolutely <3 you. I have a good idea who you are and you're brilliant people ^_^. But that's more of a cult following than wide-spread readership.

Say I wanted to draw more people in. But all I know is writing, right? Not quite. I have a day job. I don't talk about it much because to writerly types it's kind of dull. I'm a database programmer. In other words, I'm a tech geek, and I get paid for it.

This morning all the pieces clicked in my head. I know things that a lot of other writers might like to know, but that aren't directly about writing. I know how to make word processing software sing you pretty songs as you format your documents for either submission or self-publication. I know how to make the process straight-forward and simple and easily repeatable.

I'm going to share. Partly because then I have a unique 'thing' to draw in more readers (SEO), but mostly because it took me a while to figure this stuff out and I know it's a pain for all of us and I don't think anyone should have to suffer through formatting woes if there's an easier way to make your manuscript look pretty.

It won't take over the blog. I'll still ramble about my story-telling process because I like doing that. But I'll be posting how-to's that I'm hoping will help other people. Also, if you'd ever like any off-the record help, you're more than welcome to email me. I have a 'About me/Contact me' link in the right side-bar that will send you to a page with my email address.

If I posted things like how to easily format your novel, how to set up auto-numbering for chapters, things like that, would that be helpful to anyone or is it already wide-spread knowledge?

I. Am. Tired. (And a story snippet)

2011-11-07T14:21:00.000-07:00

I am really very drowsy. Some people might say it's a side-effect of writing 52,000 words (or so) in 5 days. I say it's just cuz I didn't sleep enough last night ^_^

I was going to post a picture of my feet today (and oddly enough, that's not the loopy exhaustion talking), but my phone doesn't want to upload right now, so instead...a snippet of what occupied my time (instead of my feet) last week.

Actaeon lay on the sand, sun beating down on his bare chest. The olive trees lining the beach told him he’d probably made it back home. It wasn’t where he wanted to be, but he didn’t think he wanted to be anywhere so it didn’t matter. He closed his eyes and sank into the heat, focusing on the millions of pinpricks along his back.

A shadow blocked his sun and he forced one eye open. He snapped it shut again and turned his face back toward the sky. At least it was the one person he didn’t have any resentment toward just then. “Hey.”

Something shuffled next to him, particles of sand bouncing off his skin. He assumed his friend and mentor had just taken a seat.

“You’ve been gone a while.” Theo’s statement was flat.

“Probably. I lost count.” Not that he’d started count. Actaeon had done his best to let the days slip by since Tamil had stranded him in Samaria. The weather had changed a couple of times, but he didn’t know how much of that was passing seasons and how much was just different climates.

“Running away is new for you.” Accusation sneaked into Theo’s voice. “A whole new low to this cowardly habit you have of not taking sides.”

He didn’t need this. The ache of what had happened with Ritzachel was just a dull pain now instead of a stabbing throb, but the wound was still raw. Especially with Tamil’s reaction after. Actaeon opened his eyes a slit and rolled his head to the side, glaring at Theo. “I missed you, too. What, exactly, did I run away from?”

Theo’s brow rose in surprise. “You’re serious.”

“You thought I’d joke after a hello like that?” Actaeon rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow. “What did I miss?”

“Ba’al’s dead.”

What have y'all been up to?

TLIF - I'm a Believer

2011-11-04T09:12:00.000-06:00

I will not subject you to the song from The Monkeys.

I've had this song on repeat a lot lately. It's become my mantra.

We were watching The Daily Show the other day, because that's how we get our news because other cable news makes me sad and seeing what a horrid state the world is in without some sattire would just depress me...more. Anyway, the guest for the evening was Condoleezza Rice. As I watched, I was impressed and awed with her ability to field questions, to explain her actions, and to never apologize for her decisions.

It wasn't a matter of whether or not I agreed with her, what impressed me was her conviction. She does things because she believes.

Spending so much of my time in blog-land, especially writing-blog-land (it's a suburb, it's a quaint, eccentric one.) , I read a lot about different publishing methods. Some people have decide to self-publish, some people only want to work through an agent. Some people want to try different paths and see what works better. Some expectations are unrealistic and some expectations are so very real it hurts to see the truth of them.

I had another a-ha moment yesterday that told me I'm not just a 'traditional route' person, I'm actually a believer. I got a rejection letter, which isn't new for me at all at this point. I mean, I'm not at 100 or 200, but I'm creeping up on it. This one was different though because it gave me the wonderful and unique opportunity to read a literary agent's honest thoughts on my query letter. Why she passed, what was missing, fantastic stuff.

So that's the logical side of me.

Here's the emotional side of me: Oh my hell! Why can't I even get the query letter right? It sounds interesting to me, what's wrong with other people that they can't see my vision? Why won't they just read? It's a damn good story and I bled and sweated and cried for this, and my friends like it and...

And that's where I shut the emotional part of me off and walk away for a little bit.

Along with those thoughts come thoughts like "I could self-publish this. I've worked hard. It deserves to see daylight. I know how to market. How to sell. How to reach people through social media. I mean, it takes a asston of work, but...it's my book."

Before I go any further, I should say I think self-publishing is right for some people. I've read some books lately that were absolutely amazing. I've also read some that were crap. Both traditioanlly and self-published. I picked up one at Borders because they were closing and it was cheap. And I almost wept at how bad it was and didn't make it past chapter 3.

However, as all these thoughts flitted through my head yesterday I had some revelations. Like I said, along the lines of realizing I was a believer.

And this goes back to why we write. I write to purge the voices in my head. It's that simple. If that's why I write, then there's no need to be published, right? I've purged the voices, and I can move on.

But why I write is not why I feel driven to be published. I'm driven to be published because I want people to want to hear what I have to say.

It's a complicated statement on purpose. It starts with "I want to be heard". Except it's not that simple. "I want my personal thoughts and views to be heard." But it's more complicated than that. Because I don't think anyone should have to listen if they're not interested. It's why I blog. You're here and reading because you want to be. I didn't force you to be (I hope...if you're here out of obligation, I'm very sorry and I ask you to walk away and there will be no hard feelings). I can say what I want and only the people who want to hear it will read it.

It's the same thing with my books. I don't want you to read it because you know me. Because I read your book. Because you support all authors regardless of what kind of insecurities their female leads have that require them to lean on masogonystic male leads and supress themselves to the point of anti-arcing (is that a thing?)

I want you to read it because you want to read it. Because you enjoy the story. Because you feel for the characters. Because something drew you in and captivated you.

I crave an audience. But only a willing one. I want to be heard, but only if you want to listen.

And that's why if I still can't nail a query letter that draws interest, if I still can't polish my first five pages to the point where people say "Holy wow, where's the rest?" then I haven't accomplished my goal. I won't draw satisfaction from knowing my baby is in print just because I know how to format for Kindle (which...not as hard as I thought it would be). Every time someone does read one of my stories and says "I loved this, regardless of the nitpicks I have", I feel a sense of accomplishment.

And so even though sometimes people fall through the cracks, even though the system isn't perfect and fantastic stories get rejected everyday, I'm a believer in the publishing system. I have very little faith in general, but I trust that the professionals got where they are because they have taste, instinct, and a love for the art.

Does that make me dellusional? Maybe. But honestly, say nine out of ten people say "I don't understand penumbra" and the last one says "this is cool, pass me some Doritos, I am sooo stoned". If my response is "They're just jealous/stupid/dim/jumping on the bandwagon/lemmings...normal people will love this as it is because my friends do", does that make me any less dellusional?

Once again, I'm not knocking any type of publishing. Goodbye, Goddess, Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes, and Dragons Forever - Born to be a Dragon are three of the best books I've read recently, all self-published by amazing authors.

I'm just saying, it wouldn't sate the demons that drive me personally.

Maybe nothing will. I may have set unrealistic expectations. But right now it's too early to surrender to that possibility. After all, I'm still breathing.

The Thousand Piece Puzzle

2011-11-03T08:35:00.001-06:00

I'm working on my next project (in case you hadn't noticed by things like yesterday's blog post ^_~). I told a friend what I was picking up for NaNoWriMo and her response was "How many times have you written that now?"

And so many of my poor readers and CP's know the story, the characters, the snippets I ramble about whenever I can. And she had a very good point. This will be my fourth year trying to write this story. I decided to do something with it I've never done before. I scrapped all the old writing. I still have the general ideas for certain scenes, but the old stuff is gone. (I always subtracted existing words from my word count goals).

It took me forever and ever to figure out what my problem was with this story. When I first started writing it, I thought it might be cool if it was a series of loosely connected, but stand-alone, short stories. An anthology instead of a novel. And the original ideas for this story were all individual scenes with their own conflict and resolution and very little binding thread between them all.

That was my problem with making it a novel. It wasn't in my head. So Actaeon dates a muse in one story and a goddess in another, and loses them both and...how does that all tie together and bring me to a final conclusion?

When I got rid of those individual tales - as much as I could anyway - and brought myself back to the basic concepts of the story instead of the details, suddnely all the pieces clicked into place. Instead of looking at a series of short stories, I could see how everything snapped together like a well-made puzzle that created a large picture.

It's how I pounded out those words over the last two days. It's why the more I get into this, the more I realize I can't write without an outline. A roadmap not that says "And then Conner went to the store, and bought some smokes, and thought about picking up a hooker." But one that says "At this point in the story, the inciting incident causes Actaeon to lose his faith in humanity and the gods, sending him into a spiral of depression, which he can only start to climb out of when he meets someone with the right outlook on life."

It all has to have a way to tie together.

I know, this is like basic storytelling 101, but knowing something and understanding it are two diffrent beasts and let's just call this week one massive lightbulb moment ^_^

What kind of fantastic revelations have you had this week?

Brain...Muddled...Too...Much...Writing...

2011-11-02T08:27:00.000-06:00

That's me. Squishy brain. I wrote a lot yesterday. According to this pretty program in front of me with black letters on a white background there's almost 20,000 of those words.

I've had to make a huge mental shift in starting to work on this new project. My last book's MC was naive, snarky, and optimistic. She knew how to have fun, she went after what she wanted, and she had a unique but pleasant head to live in for a while.

This new guy...cynical, apathetic, and at times completely out of control. It didn't occur to me what a dramatic shift this would be for my own mental state until I started writing him. But apparently it's working.

Someone stopped next to him, copying his posture. A heavy jacket hid the man’s face and body even though it was almost eighty outside. The sharp stench of going too long without a shower assaulted Conner.

“Bum me a smoke, man?” Gravel lined the man’s request.

Conner shrugged, and handed him the rest of the box. “Whatever.”

“Thanks, rich boy.” The bum grabbed Conner’s arm, his other hand shoving what felt like a revolver into his back. “What else have you got on you?”

Conner exhaled, blowing a puff of smoke into the evening and watching it dissipate. This wasn’t going to end well. “Nothing you want.”

The bum’s arm shook, the quake reflected in his voice. “Wallet, car keys, I don’t care. Hand it over. I’m not playing.”

“Good.” Conner twisted his arm, grabbing the man’s hand and gripping tight. A flicker of silver passed over his skin, vanishing in the twilight. “I’d hate to think this was just a joke.”

The bum’s eyes grew wide. “I’ll shoot you, man. Dead serious.”

Conner wrenched the pistol from him and dropped it into the bum’s parka. “I’d rather you didn’t. That tends to sting.”

His tightly controlled rage throbbed inside, and for a moment he glowed. He squeezed the bum’s arm harder, corner of his mouth pulling up at the resulting squeak of pain. It wouldn’t take much to make the bum bleed. To snap his bones and puncture him both mentally and phsyically. To suffer for anything and everything he’d ever done to hurt another person.

Taking a deep breath, Conner pushed the reaction back down. It didn’t matter. He shoved the bum against the wall, a thunk echoing down the street. People were starting to gather and point. Shit. He didn’t need this.

Conner spit out his half-finished smoke, grinding it out with the toe of his shoe. He nudged the bum one more time, growling, and then let go. The bum staggered and gasped. Conner dropped the box of smokes on the ground next to him and turned away.

“Hey, buddy. Aren’t you going to like…hold onto him until the cops get here?” A random voice asked from the crowd. A series of murmurs rolled around in agreement.

Conner looked at the man. “Did you call the police?”

The stranger shrugged and took a step back. “No, but I’m sure someone did.”

“Great. Then I’m sure someone will restrain him until they get here.” Conner pushed through the crowd, stuffing the moonlight’s power back inside and trying to suppress the glow crawling over his skin. No one said anything until the apartment complex door swung shut behind him, then a wash of muffled protests rushed to seep through the glass.

Had he really almost lost it over a mugger? Maybe he had come back too soon. Another year or two in Tibet might have done him some good. Then again if he’d stayed away, he wouldn’t have seen her. Did he even want to see her? How long had she been back?

The Pitter-Patter of Raindrops

2011-11-01T08:38:00.000-06:00

It's raining outside. A nice, solid downpour washing away all the dirt and dust of the last three months of almost no rain. We did have snow one day. Like...for an hour...and it didn't stick. And then it went back to being 70 during the day.

And I love the rain. It refreshes everything, it puts me in a contemplative frame of mind, it makes the world more vibrant. I'm not even complaining it that it's November 1 and it should be 20 degrees cooler, and snowing here. Definitely not complaining about that.

It puts me in the perfect frame of mind to be creative. Which would be fantastic...if I didn't have so many non-creative things to do today. Don't misunderstand, some software programmers are artistic geniuses. They make their code sing and dance.

I am not one of those. My code is just words tweaked to make things go faster. It's a technical manual versus a compelling novel.

But maybe the rain will inspire me to make pretty computer code today. Maybe I'll paint pictures with my IF THEN loops, and my cursors.

SELECT Pretty, Flowing, Magical
FROM BrainPower.dbo.Creativity C
INNER JOIN Environment.dbo.Weather W
ON W.MotivationID = W.PreciptationID
WHERE W.PreciptationName = 'Rain'

Probably not, but maybe.

What inspires you?

Homemade Goodies - Tortilla Soup

2011-10-31T12:59:00.001-06:00

I'm going to deviate from my normal writing post today, and it's possible I'll do this more in the future, though with me consistency isn't likely. I'm going to share a recipe ^_^

I didn't write or edit this weekend. I took a break from it all. I cleaned the kitchen. I know, exciting, right? It's because there was no way I'd be able to cook a Thanksgiving meal there in its pre-weekend condition and the likelihood of me cleaning it in November was very slim.

So I made my counters all clean and shiny. I also baked. And it sounds really impressive when I say I made rolls, bread, soup bread bowls, cookies, soup, and meatloaf. But really, the breadmaker, foodprocessor, and crockpot do most of the work.

I did some experimenting cooking-wise. It turned out brilliantly and I thought I'd share. Homemade chicken tortilla soup that's so much tastier than canned, and not a whole lot harder to make. I like it because it only takes 10-20 minutes total to prep, etc. It's our new household favorite.

Homemade Tortilla Soup
Ingredients

3 cups chicken broth (or vegatable if you're not into meat)
16 oz of your favorite salsa. I make my own because I'm ambitious (4 tomatos, 1 small onion, 1 jalpeno, 1 fresh squeezed lime, 2 garlic cloves, dice and mix)
1 lb diced chicken (or other meat, or no meat)
1 12 oz can white pinto beans
1 can Campbells nacho cheese soup (optional)

Preperation
You have two choices here.

Toss it all in a crockpot on low for 4 hours, or
Add all ingredients except chicken to a large pot, and simmer on medium heat for 10 minutes. Cook the chicken in a separate skillet until fully cooked. Add it to the soup.

Serve with tortilla strips (or in our case, crushed Doritos), and sour cream.

What did you get up to this weekend?

TLIF - Buckling Down for the Month Ahead

2011-10-28T08:08:00.000-06:00

Monday is Halloween. Growing up, my mother didn't like the holiday. I think she only let us dress up so the other kids in school wouldn't make fun of us. I know she feels differently now, I think it has something to do with seeing her granddaughters dressed in adorable fuzzy costumes. My sister-in-law is aweseome like that. Because of her dislike for the holiday, I've never been trick-or-treating. I hear that's not so uncommon these days as it was 25 years ago (Please don't do the math).

Also because of that, I've always wanted the perfect halloween costume. I always wanted to be the person in the amazing flowing fabrics that everyone oohed and ahhed over and I won some sort of costume contest. There are two small problems with this:

I don't like public attention, so I can't rock a costume the way that's appropriate to win a contest
I'm a fantastic seamstress (not a humble one, but an amazing one...I can make almost any drawn costume come to life, even those impossible anime ones - this is one of my few skills I will brag about), but I'm horrible at thinking up creative ideas. And when you show up for a work costume contest dressed as an obscure character no one's ever heard of, it doesn't matter how much flowy fabric there is, everyone is voting for the woman dressed as the Occupy Wallstreet protester instead.

So I've kind of given up on the amazing costume concept. If I dress up this year, it will involve dragging a pleated plad skirt out of storage, buying white thigh-high stockings, tossing on a white shirt and cleaning the cat fur off my black flats. How well do you think my 'sexy school girl' costume would go over in a professional workplace, anyway? Yeah...maybe I shouldn't.

But the awesome, amazing, fantastic thing about Halloween now that I'm older is...it's no longer just all-hallows-eve. It's also all-naowrimo-eve. To celebrate, I have on my NaNoWriMo tshirt today. Best. Costume. Ever. I know, it's a few days early, but I'm excited for November.

I have my story outlined, I have my characters in my head, and I had inspiration last night about whether or not the villian dies at the end (yes, I had some trauma over this...trying to decide if it was okay for my anti-hero to kill him or not).

And I have the absolutely perfect plan for how to put myself in the right frame of mind before next Tuesday. In case you're not the complete and total dorky fangirl(guy) I am, you may not know that 'Captain America' is on BluRay now. Which means I have all 5 'Avengers' prequels.

So this weekend...The Hulk, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America marathon. 110% perfect way to unwind and let my imagination wander in preperation of starting my next novel.

hehehe ^_^

Do you have any plans for Halloween? Or any way you're prepping for the start of a new month?

Predictable Much?

2011-10-27T10:04:00.000-06:00

I read a review once where the reader said they loved a certain author's stories, except when the author's voice shone through. Okay, that makes sense. I'm reading this story from a character's POV, and suddenly the author slips in something as themselves.

Except their elaboration didn't agree with what I thought voice was. They continued to say 'for instance, when the author uses their character to convey person political views.'

To me, that's not the same thing. Voice is how someone verbally expresses their thoughts, not what those thoughts are. It's not a distinct line, there's room for bleed over, but voice is more about a personal dialect to me.

Everyone has words they overuse. As an overall writing rule, there's words like 'that' and 'was' and 'starting', adverbs, etc. The point being, can the message be delivered without the word, or can the message be rephrased to paint a more vivid picture?

But there are words we overuse as individuals as well. I usually know what mine are. I go through phases where I like 'so' or 'well' or 'though'. They don't need to be there, but I like to insert them randomly in sentences.

The ones I don't recognize on my own are the ones that convey my voice. The way I talk and communicate as an individual. For instance, most people I've worked with know that 'awesome' is a standard exclamation for me. It's versitile because it can be sincere or sarcastic with just the slightest twinge of inflection.

But awesome is an obvious word, and it doesn't really make it's way into my writing. My characters prefer things like 'epic' or 'wicked'. I've been called on a much more benign word recently.

Much.

Apparently this is part of my daily speech pattern and I don't notice it. Since I don't notice it, it slips into my character dialogue as well, and suddenly my characters sound like me, not like themselves. For instance:

"Stupid much?"
"Grabby much?"
"Needy much?"

See how versitile it is? And since it's such a tiny little four letter word, I don't notice it when I edit. Until a reader calls me on it. Which has happened more than once. Predictable much?

So now whenever edits are done, I need to do a search for 'much' and correct most instances to make sure my characters don't sound like me. Except the ones who are allowed to. Just not so much.

Ever find your own dialect creeping into that of your characters?

Magic 'Free The Inspiration So I Can Write What I Want' Tonic

2011-10-26T08:23:00.001-06:00

I wrote yesterday. For many hours, many thousands of words. Okay, maybe only for like...3 or 4 hours, and maybe only like 4,000 words, but that's still a lot.

No novel work. I'm not doing that right now. I've stepped away from that cast of characters so I'm not burned out on them when November gets here. Short stories. And I don't know where the inspiration came from but it was...wow. :-D

I have different casts of characters who live in my head. They were almost all created for novels. But in my head, they all exist outside of the stories they were created for. For several of them I know what happened before the story, have a good idea of what happens after the story, all that kind of stuff.

And yesterday one of these groups just started talking to me. Someone asked "okay, so what happens after the happily ever after?"

It's not the first time I've done that mentally, but I rarely write it down. I was curious as well so I let my characters out to play. I plot my novels (sort of), I don't plot my short stories before I write them. I start with a vague notion and see where the characters take things.

And yesterday they were off the hook. I was stunned with the way two of them interracted. I learned things about one of my female characters I never would have guessed. But...it all makes sense now that she's revealed this side of herself. Including her romantic relationships.

I always get a rush when stories or scenes flow easily and still read well afterwards. I feel like I can actually write. It's not so great while I'm actually doing the writing, because I get in this zone, especially yesterday, where I'm feeling what my characters are and that impacts my real life mood. But once that's done. Once I've resolved it on paper...

In the end, the story was both more vicious and sweeter than I meant it to be. I don't know if anyone else who reads it will ever see that in it, but I hope so.

Anyway, I'm all over the place today. Short version of this rambling - it was an awesome writing day and I want more of them. I'd bottle it and sell it and make millions if I could.

Would you pay for magic 'free the inspiration so I can write what I want' tonic?

Lost in Paradise

2011-10-25T08:02:00.000-06:00

Wisdom for the day: You never know how much you use your left thumb as a right-handed person until you almost cut the tip off with a bread knife. Life is full of ups and downs. Drama, conflict, resolution, highs, lows, surprises, pleasantries, doom. Every day life is not dull if you know where to look. It's just some of the normalcy's that bog us down.

Because I don't know where that's going, I'm going to share instead. Pandora was good to me this morning. I was hoping for something to reflect my mood and/or cheer me up and it picked this as the first song. It's going on my playlist for Apathy's Hero because it's so appropriate to everything Actaeon is.

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo this year?

Your (Agent's) Online Presence

2011-10-24T08:00:00.021-06:00

If you're a part of the online writing community and any of its various outlets or hangouts, you probably see agent and publisher tips as a daily course of interaction. Which is awesome. At least I think so. 12 years ago when I first started wondering how to query a novel, all I had was a battered and outdated print copy of 'The Writer's Market'.

Fast-forward to now, and there's no end to the information that's available. Including tips on how to get noticed and how to avoid being noticed negatively. And one thing I hear over and over, and I agree with, is be careful with how you present yourself online. As a writer, you don't want to cast yourself in a bad light. News travels fast and in publishing, like any industry, professionals talk to each other.

Awesome. Great news. I can agree completely. If you find my blog because you're thinking about working with me, and something here puts you off, that's my fault. This is a public forum and I know that when I make my posts.

And this is one of the only times I'll ever do this. I'd like to point out that it works both ways. I told a friend a couple of weeks ago that there was a literary agent I would never query because the way they handled themselves on twitter rubbed me the wrong way.

My friend was shocked. This literary agent represents some big names, including several authors who I personally very much enjoy reading. These people all say good things about their agent, and honestly I assume this literary agent is a good, nice, intelligent person. I don't think ill of them at all as a person.

But the way they handle themselves in a public forum doesn't sit right with me, and I believe that would hinder a professional relationship.

I was researching agents today and I came across a website that made me blink and cringe. It was difficult to navigate and to me, being someone who's worked in web design and marketing before, it made me hesitate. Now, a poor website design won't deter me as much, but it will still make me ask if this is a person I want helping me promote my work should things go in that direction.

We all have little pet-peeves that set off alarms in our heads when dealing with anyone in personal and business every-day life. It's going to be different for you than it is for me. You may not flinch at the HTML 1.0 and comic sans font, or the string of...whatever...in a Twitter feed. Maybe instead you're very bothered by someone who uses incorrect grammar when they speak publicly. Or vocally discloses political beliefs that don't agree with yours.

The thing is, I personally feel those are legitimate reasons to reconsider querying the person. It's a business partnership. You have to feel comfortable with someone to make a partnership like that work. I'm not saying be super-picky. Not everyone likes peanut butter and bannana sandwiches. But if the mere thought of it nauseates you, and the literary agent you're considering not only loves them, but gives them as every-occasion gifts...

I don't know. Am I being unreasonable? Should an offputting online presence really keep me from considering an agent?

TLIF - Welcome to Thermopylae

2011-10-21T06:08:00.000-06:00

Welcome to...my 300th blog post ^_^ It's been a busy, hectic week in this little corner of the globe. I've gone up against 100,000 (or so) words with just the strength of 300 spartan keys to tell my tale. (I figure...3 computers, an average of 100 keys per keyboard...) We fought it out in the hallowed valley of Thermopylae...or maybe Salt Lake, because that's a lot closer to home for me.

But on a less muddled note...it is my 300th blog post. And...it's Brenda Drake's "Can You Leave us Breathless?" blogfest. I love this idea. From Brenda's Blog "It can be scary. It could be a romance. A thrill ride. A twist. It can be any genre. All you have to do is make us gasp. You can end with a cliff hanger. You can get gory. Whatever. Just leave us breathless."

Below is an excerpt from early on in Uriel's Fall. In case you've been fortunate enough to not be spammed with my pitch at every turn ;-), Ronnie is a holding cell for demons...and they whisper in her head. That's internally. Externally...she feels emotion physically and has discovered some people - the children of gods - are super painful to be around because of the emotions they embody. She thinks one of them is following her.

***

Ethereal scalding blades scored my bare neck and I whirled, expecting to see creepy diner guy on the steps behind me. The stairwell was empty, but the feeling didn’t subside.

More slices flared across my hands but there were no red welts when I looked down. I forced myself to keep walking, listening to every footstep and creek as I made my way to my apartment.

Something lapped at my mind. Soothing but frightening. Black liquid. I pushed inside, bolting the deadlock behind me for the first time since I’d moved in.

Paranoid, much? The whisper carried itself on the black waves

It wasn’t paranoia, I was just being safe.

We could go back out there. Make nice. Invite him in for tea. Devour his soul.

What the hell?

I’m kidding. I know you’re a coffee girl.

I kicked my shoes off, letting them stay where they fell. The pain pulsed, intensifying for a moment before ebbing again. There was no way I was arguing with a voice in my head, regardless of how coherent it was. Something black flickered behind my eyelids. An oily visual of the power nudging my veins. It was aloe against the emotional void. I smiled, breathing in and out and feeling the cooling relief wash over me.

See, this isn’t so bad, is it?

The whispered question floated on the edges of the soothing inkiness.

My eyes snapped open. The voice was the same as the power. I felt both at my core. Was the demon trying to take me over? Was that what this was about?

Oh, come on. Really? I’m not even one of them.

I focused on the black wisps, the way I would if I was extracting a demon from a human. They ran far and deep in my veins. I tried to grasp at loose wisps and pull them away and the pain returned. Scalding blisters that weren’t there racing across my back and legs.

Something shattered, pulling me from the painful meditation. The dark strands spilled back through my veins, chasing away the heat. There was no one in the apartment. What had I heard?

My eyes grew wide when they landed on the door. Tiny fractures and missing chunks covered my ward. I didn’t even know that was possible

Effective Criticism

2011-10-19T08:00:00.032-06:00

I'm not a tough, strong individual. I don't take criticism in stride, integrate it into my every day life, and grow and become better and never look back.

That doesn't mean I don't listen and learn. I do. I hear all criticism, I spend hours and days agonizing it, and I eventually make what I think are valid points a part of my life and my work. Unfortunately I also sometimes make invalid points a part of my life and work, but that's a different story. (As in, be careful you don't destroy your voice by letting critiques rewrite your story for you).

Because I'm this whiny, fragile creature, I'm careful about who I let read my work. I'm very, very picky. Which might lead people to think I only hand it over if I know I'm going to get praise in return.

That is so not the case. A bit of backstory. I got a critique once of a short story of mine. The story was about 2,000 words. The critique must have been at least 8,000. And there were no line-by-line notes. It told me for page after page about all the literary rules I had broken. How I had switched between third person close and third person omniscient ~~too often~~. How I had used the word cacophany wrong. How my visuals were overdone. Actually, that's a pretty good summary of what it said. But it took 8,000 words to tell me.

What it never said was whether or not the reader enjoyed the story. What their personal opinion of the tale itself was. On a technical level it picked the entire thing apart. But I still didn't know if they felt there was anything salvagable underneath.

I see that too much in critique. I see lists of things that need to be fixed. They go on and on and on. It can be so discouraging. It's needed, but it's still disheartening.

The people I let read my work more than once still give me lists of things that need work. They can go on and on too. I have rambling conversations with my readers and CP's about what needs to be corrected and why and how.

But they also tell me if the story itself is salvagable. They start with things like "You've got a great foundation here." Or they end with things like "This is what worked for me and what you did well."

But I'll tell you what's even more frustrating. The people who point things out in the story and don't say if they feel it's good or bad. "Your main character mouths off a lot."

Yeah, she does. Do you like that? Do you hate that? Do you wish she would crawl into a hole and die? What kind of emotion did it evoke?

"Your story is a new twist on 'country girl in the big city', but with angels." Yeah. It is. Are you cool with that? Does that make you want to huck the book across the room?

How does it make you feel?

Art is subjective. I think we all know that. But to me, it should also evoke emotion. A creative work of fiction shouldn't be relegated to a clinical list of technical traits.

I want to know what you liked and didn't like and why, and I want to know if I'm spinning my wheels going back for another revision or if you personally feel like there's potential in there.

What do you want to know about your work?

PS: The feedback that inspired this rant happened almost four years ago. It was for the earliest version of 'Apathy's Hero', so whether it had a positive or negative impact on me is still unknown. A conversation with a coworker reminded me of it this morning.

Oh! I Almost Forgot!

2011-10-18T08:00:00.013-06:00

I can't beleive I didn't do this yesterday.

One of my friends has an adorable daughter. Okay, several of them do, but only this one applies today. This little girl, around the age of 4, learned a new trick. She'd suddenly say "Oh! I almost forgot!" As though something critical was supposed to occur.

And then it would be followed with "We were supposed to go get ice cream after school."

Which I thought was awesomely brilliant.

So, me: "OH! I almost forgot!"

You: "Forgot what?"

Me: "hehehehe."

Late last week I was working on exporting my story, and I realized last time I had exported it, I hadn't included a chapter. Oops. Chapter 7 wasn't in the copy of my story that I sent to my readers. Which explained some of their questions. And I felt a little relieved after I realized why they had those questions when I thought I had clearly explained those things.

Which is not what I almost forgot. Because I didn't forget that, I just missed it. Never let it be said I'm a detail oriented person. No, really. My Sweetie Ay will back me up on that. Emphatically. :-P

What I almost forgot is to scream and yell from the blogsphere the reason I was exporting my story.

Because on Friday, at about 2 pm local time, I finished my revisions. I wrote the final word on the page and sighed with a level of contentment that is rarely heard in-office.

In other words I'M DONE! ^_^

I started re-reading for a final pass this weekend to make sure I changed all the 'her's' to 'my's', and got all the god names right. But...I really, really like it.

So...want some ice cream? ^_^

"When they make this into a movie..."

2011-10-17T08:07:00.000-06:00

One of the things I love hearing, from Ay & from my readers is, "when they make this book into a movie..."

Though, the check would be bigger for movie rights, I'd probably squeal louder if someone wanted to make it into a manga series. I'm that kind of geek.

Which doesn't matter, because it's not like I've sold the book, or found representation for it, or anything like that. BUT.

I still like hearing "When they make this into a movie..."

Except this morning I did something bad. Horrible. Evil. Demoralizing. I started picturing how my book would look if it was made into a movie. And I cringed at how cheesy it would be if it were translated directly to the big screen. But the thing is, I don't think it's a cheesy story. Not completely. But now I have these awful movie-like scenes in my head instead of the original characters, and it's going to blow some of my self-confidence out of the water until I can lose the images.

But I did cast my female leads. Totally different story for a different day.

So, to finish the thought:

"If they make this into a movie, I really hope the director and screenplay writer have the insight to make it different from the book."

Can you picture your book as a movie?

TLIF - Pay it Forward

2011-10-14T08:29:00.000-06:00

Today, because it's Friday and Friday's should be fun and celebratory days, I'm participating in the Pay it Forward blogfest. I love this idea, and I love even more the chance to point you all toward some amazing blogs.

From Matthew MacNish
The idea is to introduce everyone to everyone else. We want this to be an easy post that allows you to meet and follow as many other bloggers as you can. In your post, we would like you to please list, describe, and link to three blogs that you enjoy reading, but that you suspect may fly under the radar of a lot of other bloggers. Or they can be famous blogs, as long as they're awesome.

So I link to other blogs a lot, and have a lot more than three to link to. But there are a couple I don't think I've ever linked to here before, or it's been a while, that I really enjoy.

An Alleged Author: I really enjoy the way Alleged Author writes, thinks, types. It's the kind of looser thought I enjoy diving into that allows me to see an individuals approach to writing, and not just a regurgitation of rhetoric.

Moody Writing: First of all, mooderino uses some fantastic visuals. I always wanted to be one of those people who uses appropriate pictures in their blog posts, but I'm lazy. mooderino pulls it off brilliantly, always drawing me over to read the day's thoughts. Once again, in a tone I feel is more enjoyable and less lectury.

My Poetry and Prose Place: Angela Felsted has poetry, short stories, book reviews, and sooo much stuff to just read and pour through and be awed by on the creative spectrum.

Go visit them all. Go explore all the blogs on the linky (click on the image), and find something new to read and new people to know and love and interract with ^_^

And have an amazing weekend!

In the Final Stretch

2011-10-13T08:09:00.000-06:00

First of all, I just stumbled on this yesterday because I'm a little behind on my blog reading, but...if you haven't signed up yet, the Pay it Forward blogfest is tomorrow. The idea is simple but a great way to meet new people and read new stuff ^_^

I am almost done with my attempt to grow my novel by 20k words. I have to say...I'm up by about 5k. Yup. Still a little short. I have three chapters left, and I feel like there should be more than that, but I don't feel like there should be 15k words more.

So, while my amazingly kind friends read this revision, I'm going to do something I've never done before with a rewrite. I know, a lot of you already know this trick, and I've always looked at it and scoffed at it, and yesterday I finally recognized the value in it.

I'm going to print it out and read it and mark it up on paper.

Weird, right? Totally retro and not-hip.

Because I realized when I have it up on the computer, it's too easy to make changes as I go, and then I get caught up in the revisions instead of in the reading.

Now I just have to figure out if it's cheaper to buy a new ink cartidge for my laser printer or replace it. The poor thing still runs, but it's all...wired and stuff...and, well...it might be cheaper to just replace it.

This is why our landfills are filled with horrid things like electronics. But that's a rant for another day.

Do you ever print your work out to revise?

The Breakfast Club of Critique Groups

2011-10-13T08:00:00.009-06:00

I'm still pondering critique. After recieving some yesterday from complete strangers, I've decided I have more to say on the matter. That and...

I stumbled on a blog post a week or so ago, and the resulting conversation got me thinking. Okay, stumbled isn't the right word. I read Kate's blog all the time. But her comments got me thinking more than usual about critique groups. And go read her blog first, because I'm totally using her post for inspiration.

I've belonged to a fair share. I've always ended up leaving because of, well...okay, it's not always the same reason. Sometimes I leave because I'm a bit of a slacker when it comes to returning feedback, and when I start to feel too guilty about it, I bow out.

I'm that person. The one member who talks a lot, but takes more than she gives.

But that's the thing. Each of these groups tends to fall into a pattern after a while. They all start off great. But as they grow, certain archtypes start to filter in. Kind of like 'Breakfast Club.'

Except instead of the geek, the weird girl, the nerd, etc, the categories are a little different.

I'm not saying all critique groups have all or any of these, or that everyone who belongs to a critique group fits one of these categories. I'm just saying I see these pop up. But I know none of us are actually like this, because we know better ;-)

The arguer. Kate covered this one. This is the person who argues against feedback they don't like. Which is very different than asking questions or working with the critiquer to figure out how to make something clear to them that you already understood as the author. Telling a critiquer "you're wrong" is similar to telling them their opnion is invalid. Not nice.
Which leads to my least favorite The opinionated. This person knows what they do and don't like. That's fantastic, because it makes it easy for them to articulate issues with a story. It becomes a problem when their opinion is perceived as fact and a story is considered 'wrong' because that person would have done it differently. (This person is frequently why I'll give up on a group).
The people-pleaser. I think most of us want our writing to be liked by as many people as possible. I believe as artists, it's a deeply rooted reaction we can't suppress unless we make a conscious effort. But...this person will focus on adjusting their story to fit every critique, even those that conflict with each other. No one will agree all the time. We have to learn to trust ourselves.
The praise-bringer. Because who doesn't like to be told how awesome they are? This person loves everything they read and it's all fantastic. Hardest to dislike, but probably the most harmful under the definition of 'critique'.

Honestly, I think to some extent all of us have traces of each of those in us. The trick is to recognize and balance them with helpful feedback - both giving and recieving. I also think frequently it becomes easier to get past these things in ourselves as we move further along in our own writing. We begin to recognize those patterns in ourselves and others and it pushes us to grow as writers.

What trait do you have (of the above or otherwise) that takes a little work to suppress?

Loki, The Avengers, and Querying

2011-10-12T08:00:00.028-06:00

So I watched this a couple of times yesterday. Not over and over again, because that would be obsessive and I'm not...

..okay, I totally am. But after about the second or third (tenth of fifteenth) time, I started to pick it apart on a more fundamental level. The trailer opens with a couple of what you can tell are intense scenes, but without the action associated with them. The voice of the villian, glimpses of the conflict and the villian...

And then cut to the heroes. The thing about the Avengers, if you're not familiar with it, is you're dealing with multiple protagonists. But even though we see them all in the preview, we don't don't delve deeply into who they are. There's no lengthy explanation of each and every hero. Snippets and narration. That's all we get.

And then it slides into high-energy action scenes that culminate with the ultimate consequences.

And even though so much of it is visual and auditory, on a fundamental level it works exactly the same way as a pitch, a synopsis, or a query.

Just like that vampire/angel/dark YA/werewolf/zombie book you know is different from the rest of the market, if you can just get an agent to recognize that...

It's all in the presentation.

Like Coffee...but in Audio Form

2011-10-11T08:27:00.000-06:00

I have an aversion to radio DJ's. It didn't used to be so strong. There were a couple of morning shows I could tolerate, though I've never been a fan of talk radio. Then things changed. Serialized national radio shows became common fare in the mornings. The more popular stations were picked up by conglomorates until all that was left to listen to was one little independent station.

Except they started struggling too. Like three times now they've disappeared and then come back. But they split as well. One of the larger companies bought up their name, their frequency, half their DJ's. Including the obnoxious morning and afternoon guys who can't find jobs anywhere else in town because they've pissed off so much of the industry. (I don't have to make these things up, my sister-in-law used to work in concert promotions and gave me all the dirt. She rocks like that).

So I don't listen to the radio in the mornings anymore. Not local radio anyway. I used to make mp3 CD's and listen to those all day. But one, my CD player in this newer car doesn't work and two I got tired of a lot of the songs I owned. BUT there was hope because my phone is more awesome than my first computer and fits in the palm of my hand and, oh yeah, has Pandora on it ^_^

And sometimes it's absolutely brilliant. I hit play and it knows exactly what I'm in the mood for, regardless of my eclectic taste. Sometimes I get lucky and it opens with Linkin Park or Tori Amos or Korn or Journey or Quiet Riot or Taylor Swift or...

Except sometimes I don't get that lucky. It opens with something I am just not in the mood for that morning. Today for instance, I really didn't want to hear slow, mournful love ballads from the 80's. Just a mood thing. So it opened with Journey and I said 'skip'. And then it went to Boston. And I said 'skip'. and then it went to REO speedwagon and I said 'screw this' and shut it down and reopened it. And...it went to Chicago.

Which is why I'm listening to MP3's now instead. If random fate won't control my destiny the way I want it to, I will do it myself. On the player now - 'Hero' by Pop Evil.

I love this song. It evokes such amazing images of love, betrayal, past, future. Heroism. It's the theme song for the novels I'm working on right now. I'd never seen the video before today. It might possibly border on cheesy, but it doesn't defy the vision.

Because when you devote your entire life to a cause, only to find out you've been manipulated for what you can do and that costs you your friends, your loved-ones, yourself, suddenly you have to wonder if the cause...if anything...is worth it anymore.

wow...story lightbulb...neato

Anyway...what's makes you socially acceptable in the mornings?

A History of Revolution

2011-10-10T08:00:00.002-06:00

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana*

Warning: this has the potential to be dry and/or political. If you'd prefer something more along the well-written/fiction side, I suggest you check out Le Collier Diabolique by Ben A. Bell. It's not one of my stories, though it is written by a friend. And this post isn't an excuse to hock it. I just figured if I was going to get a little political, I'd give you an alternative ;-)

Think of this as an exercize in world-building.

In the late 1700's, the French Revolution ocurred. Within three years, the monarchy that had ruled the country for centuries collapsed. As with any war, the reasons can be debated night and day. Frequently sited though are things like

the cost of food rising to a point where the average citizen couldn't afford to eat
An exorbinant national debt, caused partly by French participation in wars, including an overseas war (the American Revolution)
Disdain of the lower and middle class toward the upper class, and visa-versa
Resentment of religious over public policy and institutions

Just before that, in the mid-late 1700's, the American Revolution took place. Some of the better known causes:

Higher taxes for the American colonies to cover the debt resulting from the French Indian war.
Fear of corruption in the British government
A desire to practice religion outside of the Church of England
A segragation between British citizens in the American colonies. Different laws that discriminated against their rights when compared to Brittish citizens still living in their homeland.

Two hundred years earlier, there was the The Eighty Years War. Some causes:

A heavy level of taxation for the lower and middle class
The Spanish Inquisition
An unrealistic expectation of the citizens placed on them by a government which had grown too big to focus on 'lesser' issues like outlying conquered regions.

So for the purposes of world-building...common causes of revolution seem to be:

Disparity between classes
Money
Religion

Taking this hypothetical world-building a step further...how does a society react differently when they have access to global information and opinion? All of the revolutions above happened centuries before things like social media. The French and American revolutions took place just a decade or two apart.

How would they have happened differently if the people revolting in France had direct access to the people in America? Would the outcome, or even the onset, have been more or less immediate if the average Joe Revolutionary had talked to his counterparts overseas first?

Does globalized social media and news coverage inspire talk of revolution by spreading it, or hamper it by giving people an open forum in which to vent?

*any similarity to current global politics, written or implied, is not coincidental.

TLIF - The Light of Truth

2011-10-07T08:00:00.002-06:00

I belong to an epic, awesome critique group. Pretty much every person writes in a slightly different genre. I mean we have multiple fantasy, YA, and contemporary authors, but their stories are all meant for different audiences. And I adore reading their work (though I owe many of them feedback right now...sorry y'all), and I really appreciate their thoughts on mine.

I have a couple of beta readers as well, depending on the project. I have one person who has very patiently been on standby for the last three or four years waiting for me to write Apathy's Hero. Honestly, I don't know if the story can live up to the hype at this point, but she's awesome encouragement for something that doesn't exist yet.

I have one friend I never talk about when I mention readers though. It's not very nice of me. There's a good reason for it. Or at least, there was. Like a lot of creative people, I go through these huge pockets of self-doubt where even the slightest honest feedback (not negative, just honest) crushes me for hours, days, months...I'm only kind of exaggerating.

And she's honest. She's never been cruel. She's even been a willing brain-storming partner on occasion. She read my first (very rough) fantasy novel and was super encouraging. But...I stopped letting her read my work because the next story didn't meet with as much praise.

My fault, not hers.

On the other end of the spectrum, I have another reader who I do mention a lot. Because...he's brilliantly complimentary. Everyone needs a cheerleader, right? Mine just happens to look better in jeans than a skirt.

Neither one of them had seen my most recent revisions. Both have seen earlier versions. Enough earlier that the story is drastically different. Because as much as I want someone to tell me it's amazing, it only needs a few tweaks, etc, etc...someone scares me about showing it to these two people. I think it's like admitting that I think it's ready, and I've thought that so many times now on this story that I don't trust myself any more.

But I have to do it sometime, or my time is wasted in all those revisions, right?

So I took the plunge this week. They both have the first half of my new (in theory final) draft.

What kind of trepidation do you face when it's time to get feedback?

Urban Fantasy - My Way?

2011-10-06T08:00:00.000-06:00

It's possible that I've whined in the past about the standard Urban Fantasy novels I find in the bookstore. I might maybe have gone on about how the formula is tired, I'm not interested in reading about another crime-fighting, ass-kicking, half-demon-slayer-with-a-chip-on-her-shoulder, etc.

They have their place, but I kept wondering why I couldn't find anything similar to what I was creating. To what I wanted to read. Because yeah, I like my supernatural elements character driven and high-action is more interesting to me when it's on the big-screen. (And yes, I will ignore all sorts of bad story-telling, acting, and writing for a pretty, high-action movie.)

And if you enjoy those stories, that's fantastic. I don't have a problem with them, they're just not for me.

The problem I was having was 'good writers read'. And hearing advice like 'you should be able to compare your work to similar stories in the same genre'.

I have to say, that's had me depressed and stumped for many, many moons. Because I couldn't find anything that was similar to the stories I've written. I was starting to wonder if I was writing to a non-existent market. Was I really the only person who wanted to see stuff like this?

I've seen the light and I've found my answer. I don't even know how I stumbled on this. I'd heard the author's name before, and I'd seen her YA books in stores, but I never picked one up because I really didn't need to read another YA vampire book. Yeah, I'm judgemental like that. I suspect they're actually very good books.

But somewhere, at some point last week, I think it was a sale link someone posted on Twitter or something, I decided to download 'Succubus Blues' by Rachel Mead. Honestly, I never would have given these books a second glance because the covers...and the genre they get grouped into...and the whole Vampire Acadamy association (once again, not based on anything except my aversion to trends).

But I'm hooked. The voice is amazing. The story is well-written and exactly what I've been looking for. There are some aspects of the characters I'm not so fond of...but they're still solid, well-rounded characters.

Since I got my phone, I've downloaded a lot of books for the kindle app. I see something that's just come out, it's only $1-$3 and I don't think twice about going and grabbing it if it sounds even semi interesting. I've only finished a couple of those books so far, including one that was very big in writer-blog land just a couple of weeks ago. I'm sorry, I got to chapter 3, it was time to go to sleep, and I never felt compelled to go back.

But Succubus Blues...I got to the next chapter last night and told myself 'just one more' at least three times before my eyes protested and made me put the phone away.

Anyway...I'm just super psyched to see that there are books like this out there. And now if I ever have to compare my work to someone else's, I can say "readers of...might enjoy..." And I have a new author to devour until I've picked the stories apart to the point where I can predict the next book ^_~ (And also, this probably means I'll be reading the Vampire Acadamy books)

Whose writing have you discovered recently that felt like a lightbulb going on over your head?

It's Rough...But it's my Baby

2011-10-05T08:07:00.000-06:00

(I was going to post a political almost-rant today, but...this seemed more along the lines of my current state of mind).

When I finished Uriel's Fall the first time...three years ago or so...I thought it was the most amazing thing in existence. At least, in my own personal creationary existence. Okay, so it was only about 55k words. And the ending was a little weak. And I knew I needed to go back and add some description...

...but it was awesome. Because I wrote it in a month or so. And it all just flowed out. And that made it the most amazing story ever and it was unique and I was ready to start querying even though I hadn't even done a first edit yet, but it didn't matter because I'd edit while the queries were out and then it would be brilliant by the time literary agents were knocking down my door to get to me.

True story.

Fortunately, I have a short attention span and gave up querying after about four rejections. Oh, and it was an abysmal query. Even worse than the novel. This is how it opened: Since long before they could record their history, humanity has questioned the nature of God. Uriel’s Fall is the first book in a series of many that approaches these questions from a new angle, placing age-old beliefs in a different light. This is not Christian fiction or a story of redemption, but rather an exploration of perception.

I cringe just reading it again, and almost weep to post it publicly, but...we all learn and move on, right? No need to critique the above, I've learned from my mistakes on that one ^_^

I got bored, I shelved the book and the queries, and came back to it all about a year ago. Since then, it's been through two major (major, major) revisions. I don't go back and read the original, because it's like watching those TV shows from when you were a kid. You have fond memories of them, and you know that seeing Lion-o hold up that sword and shout 'Thunder, thunder, Thunder cats, HO!' as an adult will just obliterate the memory.

So in my head, that first draft is still brillant. It had devices in it that I loved that never made it past the first draft. It had action-packed story elements. It had dead goddesses living in rings. Okay, it still does, but that's a different story. (No, really, it's the sequal).

But occasionally I think "I wonder, since the story has changed so much, what if I went back and cleaned up the original. Edited it, polished it, etc. Would I have a separate story?"

Yesterday I asked someone to read it who had seen the original. She's seen my other work in various stages of editing, too. But she's never as fond of the first drafts. Go figure. This is the comment I got back: "I noticed the elements from Uriel's Fall...but this story is far more interesting and well thought out."

I pouted when I read that. Not because she likes the new stuff, but because it was a reminder of how bad the old stuff was. I'm still cleaning out the flowery, over-written prose I was infatuated with at the time from the current manuscript. I still see traces of the really bad subplot that made the story border on erotic romance (it wasn't the sub-genre that was bad, just the subplot). But...it's my baby. Sure, the ugly duckling has grown into a swan (though the jury is still out on whether or not it's a beautiful swan), but I still loved the ugly duckling. Don't all parents think their babies are beautiful?

But it's also a great reminder of how far I've come. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm capable of revising anything. But...then someone is sweet enough to remind me...

I think every single one of us looks at our old/unpolished writing and winces. Especially if it's in print now. But even though we know it's not our best, does anyone else still feel just a little twinge of 'ouch' when someone else points out those same flaws?

Guest Post: Who Can I Trust?

2011-10-04T08:00:00.021-06:00

Yeah, I'm still revising. Sorry for being a broken record. I've come to a significant character arc in the story, and staying in this character's head isn't easy. She's more different from me than most any of my others, mostly because she has a trusting naivite I have a hard time wrapping my brain around. So, I'm going to let her explain it herself.

Ronnie

We come into this world without expectation. Whether we're born or created from the ether, we start as a fresh slate. We have to learn, grow, change, adapt, and figure out who we are.

We rely on the people around us, at least in some part, to figure out how to go about life. Our parents, our gods, our mentors, our friends, lovers, and acquaintences. We draw from their experience to build our own.

So what happens when none of them are honest with us? I'm not talking about simple things like 'Mommy told me Santa was real. She lied.' I'm talking about things that shake the very core of our foundation. For instance, finding out you're made of recycled angel parts.

What's worse is, once you know everyone has lied to you, how do you know who's stopped? The friend who hasn't forgotten you in over four millenia. Has he come completely clean now? The poor replica of who you used to be, the woman who hisses everytime she sees you. Is she spilling it all?

The man who said he wanted you by his side for the rest of eternity. When he says "I need to tell you the truth", is he really doing that?

I guess my concern is, with everyone lying to me, am I better off just trusting the voices in my head? At least when they speak in nonsensical metaphor, I know not to pay attention.

Ronnie was created as a holding cell for stray penumbra(shadows made of raw emotion). It's an easy job until the shadows start whispering in her head. Everyone - her boss, the gods, the creepy guy at the diner - seems to know more about her affliction than she does and no one's filling her in. If she takes too long to decipher the voices' message, her descent into madness will be a one-way trip.

TLIF - When it's Time to Walk Away

2011-09-30T08:20:00.002-06:00

I'm going to make a confesion about my writing, and hope that it doesn't make me neurotic and that I'm not the only one.

I love my male characters. They're like...my own personal imaginary harem. Except some of them don't get along. But I have shaped these main characters out of molds of traits I find attractive. Even their flaws are ones I can tolerate. Sometimes they're even endearing flaws...to me anyway...I don't suspect what I find endearing is anywhere near what a lot of people can put up with.

My female characters...they're a little different. I don't like them as much. I mean, in a way I do. I love writing them. Being in their heads. Seeing the world through their eyes. Because like the guys, they're based off certain ideals. They all share aspects of my personality, and in addition have traits I wish I had.

Yes, I live vicariously through my writing. It's true.

It is possibly why, even though it's never been intentional, my girls are never rescued by their knight in shining armor in the story. Not in the end. Not because I'm a hardcore femenist, but because that's just the way I am. My daydreams aren't about someone coming and taking me away from it all. They're about a kind of give-and-take where both parties learn and grow.

Yeah, I'm boring like that ^_^

This is all awesome fun, and makes it really easy to write certain things, and very emotionally draining to write others. It also means there's always a potential for my girls and guys to be attracted to each other, even if they're not intended to hook up with each other.

It has...occasionally...completely ~~destroyed~~ restructured some of my plots. Usually I just hook them up in my head to see how things go and then I use their reactions to build stronger characters on paper.

So...I've been going really strong on my revisions this week. I've been patching up 2, 3, 4 chapters a day. And then I hit yesterday. It wasn't a good day emotionally, and it had nothing to do with my writing.

But I knew what I wanted to write. And I got it on paper and it was absolutely epic (okay, it was decent enough to be acceptable). And I started to write more...and my brain was like "Oh, you know what would be REALLY epic? If we hooked Ronnie up with that one guy she's never meant to couple with ever. You've already mentioned he's nearby. It'll be fun. You know how much you love him..."

And I knew it was time to walk away. Because yes, I adore him. But she doesn't. Well, she does, but not like that. It's a very platonic relationship, and she'd probably stop talking to me again for many months if I tried to hook her up with someone other than...

Anyway. When my brain starts trying to write in plot elements I know don't belong, it's time for me to take a break and walk away.

I'm not the only one who lives vicariously through my chracters, am I?

Second Wind For Revision

2011-09-29T08:16:00.002-06:00

I can tell by some of the dates on my files that I started this revision of Rhamiel's Fall back in May. When it was still Uriel's Fall. Which it has been since the beginning of its existence. And it's not any more.

/weep

Anyway...Back in May when I started I got about 1/3 of the way in and got stuck. Like major hardcore super stuck. At the beginning of September I managed to power my way through the rest, but I'll be honest I've always known (for like a whole three weeks now) that I half-assed the ending. The ending being the last 2/3 of the book in this case.

When I was in Denver I picked it up and started again. I started with the points I knew I'd slacked off. And then for some reason I couldn't explain to myself, I went back and started at the beginning. This was last week sometime when I made the POV change.

I hit that spot yesterday where I've been stuck. And flinched because I knew it was coming. The middle 1/3 of this book has always been my least favorite part. I've always struggled with the scenes and why they exist and what I can do to make it less...boringish...

(I actually have a term for it and I compare it to a certain author who writes vampire novels but not Stephanie Meyer, before her, and all of the books that I've read of this particular author's start to drag right around page 200 and I have a paralyzing fear that my stories will read like that too and it's why I only ever finished Interview with a Vampire and none of the other books of hers that I started. And I tried.)/tangent

So I dreaded this point and hit it and slid right through the beginning of it. I'll admit there are still some voice problems I need to address. But for some reason yesterday so much of the middle of the story clicked. And when I stopped writing for the day I was so psyched because I knew what came next and it's not what was there before but it's something I really wanted to add and didn't know how and now I know how and...

Anyway...

I really wanted to share what I wrote yesterday, but in theory it's a distinct spoiler...since it's where Ronnie starts to really understand why - out of all the voice she hears (because she hears voices, but not because she's insane) - one of them is distinct. Kind of like Sesame Street: one of these things is not like the others.

So instead...you all were awesome with your advice yesterday and I'm going to finally push myself to write Apathy's Hero next month. And this is my inspiration...and not spoiler-y because it's from my short story of the same name that's been available in A Thousand Faces magazine for about a year now.

(And, um, strong language warning. My characters aren't the most polite people when they're upset).

Lexi whirled to face him, straight locks streaming in an arc before settling on her back again. Her eyes narrowed, exaggerating the puffy skin surrounding them. “Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, just leave me the hell alone.”

“Whoa.” Her red-rimmed glare prickled Conner's skin. He took a step back, raising open-palmed hands. “What did I do?”

“What do you think?” A growl rolled through her question, not hiding the crack in her voice. “I can take care of myself.”

A car door slammed in the background and he ignored it. “You’re welcome. You do know what my job is, right?”

She rolled her eyes and turned away. A sob floated through the air, fading into the passing traffic. Her keys rattled, scraping the red paint on her compact sedan several times before sliding into the lock. “Apparently not.” She took a shaky breath. “You never told me they pay you to be an intolerable ass.”

Anger nudged at the leash Conner kept on his power and he forced it back, a calming mantra repeating in his head. “The guy couldn’t keep his hands off you.”

She spun to face him again, keys rattling from their spot in the lock. Her voice raised an octave. “You didn’t have to break his fucking arm. I almost lost my job because of you. I can’t afford to lose my job.”

“What?” Guilt nudged the anger further into the background. “Why?”

“Because I’m obviously the problem, right? Some drunken asshole paws at me, you lose your shit, and it’s my fault. What about that doesn’t make sense?”

He swallowed. A hint of smoke brushed his skin, making him wish he hadn’t tossed his cigarette aside. “I’m sorry.”

Leaning back against her car she crossed one arm over her chest, resting the other elbow on top of it and burying her face in her hand. “If you’re sorry, leave me alone.” Her voice cracked again. “Please, just leave me alone."

What kind of epic breakthroughs have you had recently? Share!

Left Shoe or Right Shoe

2011-09-28T08:21:00.000-06:00

I have a question for all of you out in writer-blog land. It's a simple question, but it's one I don't have an answer for.

When I was growing up, my family didn't have a lot of money. A small side-effect of this was that I hated my socks. Yes, you heard me right. They were always those tube socks with the colored stripes at the top - but the cheap version. And I would do everything I could to hide the fact that my socks drooped and were ugly. And my mother said to me on more than one occasion that I needed to stop worrying because it's not like people were going around staring at my feet.

Later in life - right around my mid-twenties - I developed an affinity for wearing mismatched socks. At the time it was a fashion statement spurred by laziness. Then it became my trademark. How? Because a guy at work one day said "How come your socks never match?"

I have a different habit now. I wear sandals in the summer, and I rarely wear them at my desk. I don't like the texture against the soles of my feet - regardless of the sandal - but I like the open toe, easy on/off feeling. So I get to work, I slip my sandals off.

Last Friday I was talking to a couple of people at work. I hadn't had time to slip my shoes back on before I spun to carry on this conversation, so I just kind of passivly hoped no one would notice. No such luck. Less than two minutes into the conversation one asked "where are your shoes?"

This morning a different coworker said "Can I ask you something? How long does it take you after you get to work to take your shoes off, because I happen to know you just got here."

My feet are under my desk. There's a cubicle wall between us.

Apparently my mother was wrong. People are going to go around staring at my feet.

But winter is almost here and that means socks and shoes instead of sandals, which means mis-matched socks, but it still means I will probably take my shoes off when I'm at my desk. But now I have to wonder if people at all my jobs noticed. If you're reading this and I used to work with you - you know who you are - reassure me that not everyone notices or cares that I take my shoes off at work, as long as my feet don't smell? Though now that I think about it, it might be funny to be remembered as the girl who didn't wear shoes. What a legacy.

Almost winter means something else, though. NaNoWriMo. I'm an addict. Every year I struggle with what to write about. I've heard that you're supposed to pick a brand new idea so that you're not already attached to the characters and it's easier to place them in the midst of bad writing.

Yeah, I can't follow that rule. For the last three years it's been super bad though. I have a story idea. It's one a lot of people have heard of, you've probably heard of it too since you're here and it's the name of the blog. It's my domain name. It's my brand (or will be if I ever make it such). It's my baby. Or my baby's daddy. That's probably more accurate ;-)

Apathy's Hero. I want to write this story. For the last four years, right around November, I decide I'm going to. Except I always have another competing story idea. The 'other' idea has won out every year.

Because I didn't know how to write Apathy's Hero. I know the main characters so well...I adore Conner more than I do Loki. They'd be nemesis if Conner cared more. (Technically they are, but only in Loki's head). And I know the basic plot outline. I have almost since day one.

But I know how the story goes this year. Or at least, I know how it could go. Because I've decided to write the story I'll cheat just a little and consciously use the hero's journey to outline the blasted thing.

But I have another idea too. And I love this idea just as much. It hits a lot closer to home. No one knows what this story is about except me. One person has heard snippets of the idea, another knows where I got the ideas for the characters, but this one is secret and in my head for the most part.

Two stories very close to my heart, for very different reasons. And I don't know which one to write.

That's my question: left shoe or right? How would you decide?

Redefining the Standard...for the Greater Good

2011-09-27T08:21:00.000-06:00

I was talking to (harassing maybe) someone on Facebook yesteday, and honestly Breanna is fantastic to put up with my 'my-brain-is-drained-because-its-three-pm-and-i-still-have-work-to-do' ramblings. She's moved the discussion to her blog and you should all go check it out because it's about flashbacks. Good. Bad. Indifferent, go share your opinion :-D

(and for the record, I'm not picking on flashbacks or Breanna. I could substitute adverbs, prologues, or third person present tense for 'flashback' and still feel the same way.)

I'm going to take it a step further though. A lot of people say flashbacks are bad. A lot of people say prologues are bad. A lot of people say angels are gender-neutral messengers of god with no free will and demons are a product of the devil.

I say a lot of people are myopic.

Picture this. A group of 10 writers is stuck in a room together. They don't mind, they call it a critique group. Every person takes a turn reading from their story. Every time one of them segues into a flashback (or opens with a prologue or uses an adverb, whatever), the same person tells them they can't do that.

Someone finally gets sick of hearing this and asks why not. The person explains it to them. It's explained well. It's a valid reason. Everyone nods and says 'okay, we'll be careful with our flashbacks'.

One person leaves the group and is replaced by another. As is prone to happen organically in situations like this. The new person hasn't heard the explanation, all they know is that no one in the group likes flashbacks. And they learn flashbacks are bad.

More people rotate out over the months and years, until the original 10 are replaced with an entirely new set of people. None of them like flashbacks. A new person joins the group. They introduce themselves. "I write fantasy and contemprorary fiction. I use flashbacks as a storytelling device."

And the room gasps. "You can't do that." "Flashbacks are bad." "You'll have to find a different way to tell your story."

And the new person says "Why?"

And the group says "Because that's the way it's done. That's the rule."

(Originally this analogy involved monkies and hoses and a banana but I thought I'd modify it to suit our needs)

No one can tell new writer why flashbacks are bad. And new writer decides to drop them without ever getting feedback. The thing is, new writer's flashbacks aren't normal. They aren't a character sitting around musing about the past in their own head. Their flashbacks are their own chapters. An entirely separate sub-plot. Same levels of action, etc.

But, new writer's flashbacks will never see the light of day because as a new writer, they were told flashbacks were bad.

My point is (beyond self-justification for being a flashback snob ;-), you have to know why things are done a certain way in order to know whether or not you need to keep doing that way. Passive voice has its place. An adverb is not always the lazy way of describing an action. A prologue is no worse than a first chapter...if it's used properly.

Which writing 'rule' do you think you break well and how have you made it shine?

The Whisper in my Head

2011-09-26T13:29:00.000-06:00

Even though she's only been mortal for a short while, Ronnie knows normal people don't hear voices. She really wishes she was normal.

There's something draining about writing intense scenes. At least to me there is. There's something even more draining about writing them in first person. Once again, at least to me there is.

Though it does make me grateful I'm not the one hearing the voices.

And even though I'm supposed to be adding 20,000 words to this story, so far I'm down about 1,000. I know I've got a lot of space to grow toward the second half of the book, but I cut a whole chapter today.

I didn't need it. It had to go. But why do I keep removing all this dead weight from a story that was finished months ago?

I need to stop feeding it donuts instead of salads. It's getting thin. But at least it has some extra padding in sexy places after today's round of revisions.

And I added a new character. She won't play much of a role in this story. In fact, I don't suspect she'll be back at all. But she's got a lot of potential in other books. I just figure, my hero (like actual Greek hero, not like main character) has been around for thousands of years, and tagged a lot of women, including his share of goddesses...he's probably got at least one kid he doesn't know about, right?

How do you fill in the spaces in your story when you have to cut out large chunks during revision?

TLIF - MMM...Writing Mojo

2011-09-23T09:14:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how much the little things can make a difference when I'm writing. I usually know what I've got a block that I just need a little pebble to dislodge in order to fix things, but the problem is figuring out which pebble.

It's rarely the same one twice. And never twice in a row. I'm one of those people who has more success trying new approaches than doing what worked last time.

I've been trying to get back into these revisions of my story for months now. I can tell because the last time I started a major overhaul was in May. MAY. And I only made it about halfway through even though I knew exactly what needed to happen in the whole story.

Okay, that's a lie. I made it about 1/4 of the way through. But 1/4 is 1/2 of 1/2 and so it's practically 1/2, especially since it's 200 times closer to 1/2 than it is to 1.

Anyway...I made a tiny little tweak. And a little bigger one. The first was changing the POV, like I mentioned yesterday. That's freed up so much room to let this particular story flow. From where I sit, it's allowed a lot more room for the kind of world building I need here, without being too 'telly'. I don't know that for sure and I'm hoping my CP's will confirm it for me, but that's the way I see it.

I also figured out I was stifling my character. I let her voice flow, and she's got a great one (I think), and then I forced it into this depressing...dare I say 'Bella-esque' (that's my term, you can borrow it if you want) reactionary state.

Once I stopped making her wallow in self-pity, she forgave me for mistreating her and started to shine on the page again.

It's true, I'm only into day 3 of revisions. But considering the last six months I've had a hard time writing for more than 2 hours every million or so days, I consider this progress.

What's your current writing achievement? Share and let us celebrate with you ^_^ (That means Kate, and Laura and everyone!)

You walk into the room...

2011-09-22T08:43:00.000-06:00

I finally grabbed my USB drive and finished a whole chapter of revisions yesterday. In the process I made an amazing, brain shattering, fantastic discovery. This isn't the first time I've had this revelation, but I always have to have it again.

I found out why I didn't love poor Ronnie anymore. And why she had stopped talking to me. And once I figured it out, I didn't blame her. I'd stop talking to me too if I made me into a whiny, withdrawn, incapable brat.

So I've given her back her strength and personality, and she no longer finishes every single chapter curling up into a ball in the corner of her apartment and sobbing because the voices in her head just. won't. shut. up.

I wish I was exaggerating, but no. Almost every single chapter read like that. And I have to wonder what kind of dark, whiny place my own brain was in that I thought that was compelling conflict. I mean, sure I can see how it would be to a certain audience. But that audience isn't me.

I think part of this came from reading the very early versions of the same story. Like the original draft. The original draft has something in it none of the other versions have, and while I kind of miss it (it has some awesome lines in it, if I can toot my own horn about that ;-), I know why I had to cut it.

I called them intermissions. Ronnie talks to the reader. The Ronnie who already knows how the story ends, because she's the one telling it.

The story was also entirely in first person. The intermissions first person present, the rest first person past. Something that didn't survive the first draft. And I hesitate to bring that back because...well...because I think too many books are written in a first person POV and I get tired of it.

But I've always said that a story needs to be written from the perspective that benefits it the most, regardless of trends, so I'm probably going to switch it to first person as I make this final revision.

And maybe someday I'll find a good excuse to post those snippets of intermission outside of the random quotes that have littered my tumblr for the last week.

Do you think POV be influenced more by the story or by author preference?

I'm Going to...Really I Am...

2011-09-21T11:07:00.000-06:00

I'm putting off my revisions. I was all set to dive back in today. I even psyched myself out for it at 4 this morning. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I still want to meet my deadline of being done by the end of the month. Someone reminded me yesterday that September ends in a week. Which isn't true. I still have nine days. That's almost a week and a half. Which is really almost like two weeks. So I still have two weeks to finish right?

I would have worked on it this morning before work, but I slept in (because I was awake at 4 am...so good excuse, right?) Or maybe I could have done it after I finished automating a process that didn't need to be automated because supposedly it's going away soon. Soon being a relative term, I decided to do it anyway. But it's work, not procrastination. I'm supposed to be doing work here.

Besides, I keep forgetting to bring my USB drive with me when I'm in places where I can write. It sits right next to my laptop. So I don't know if my subconscious is having me leave it behind because it doesn't want me to revise, or if I'm just forgetful.

I should look into cloud storage. Then I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting my USB drive. But then I'd have to set it up. And remember to transfer my files to it. And I don't trust clouds yet, because I work too closely with the technology and it makes me nervous, even though that's on a whole different level.

or I could write it all in google docs. Which is cloud-like anway, but actually has a word processor attached to it and I could access it from anywhere.

Except I don't like the way it exports to Word. it screws up my formatting to switch back and forth between the two and I'm a creature of habit and besides, my story is in Scrivener right now anyway and that's not really a compatible format...

But none of these are excuses. Not at all. I'm not putting it off because I have trouble finding balance in world-building. I know what's too much. I know what's too little. I know my world. I now know that Ronnie likes to dance when there's music and she hates to be talked down to, and she likes the material things in life but mostly only because they're new to her.

I just don't know where the middle-ground is once I cut out all the unneccesary.

And my mind has convinced me it has to be perfect this time. Which is ridiculous, but try telling that to my brain.

But I'm not procrastinating. Not me.

I'm going to lunch. That's it. I have to eat. And put my USB drive somewhere that I'll remember it next time I'm on my way to write. Like in my jeans pocket. And hope it doesn't go through the wash.

Yeah.

Does your subconscious ever procrastinate for you?

Guest Post: A Devil Inside

2011-09-20T09:03:00.000-06:00

I wanted Ronnie to guest post today. She doesn't want to talk to anyone because she's sulking because someone pointed out I don't love her as much as I do some of my other characters. So she's got a ~~cheesy~~ inspirational 80's music video in response.

There's more to the song than what's on the surface, and she's just taken this song as her theme song.

I'm intrigued...

TLIF - Looking for Fantasy Recs.

2011-09-16T08:00:00.015-06:00

One of the classes I attended at RMFW was about how to choose genre for a book. Outside of the agent/editor panels, it was the best session I went to. The speaker was fantastic, and she had some great tips on how to narrow down the genre of your novel.

One thing she recommended was keeping it as simple as possible for people not in the industry. For an agent, editor, or other writers, you want to know where your book fits on the bookshelf at a book store, but being a little more detailed than that isn't bad.

But for the general public, simplify it as much as possible.

That's easy for me. At least it is now. I've decided my current novel is fantasy. Not urban fantasy, or high fantasy, or sword and sorcery, or any of that. It's just fantasy.

So...there's a coffee shop I go to almost every morning. It's a local place that's literally a shack in the back of a KMart parking lot. It holds three or four people inside if they're busy, but I don't suspect it's easy to move. Usually only two or three are working. They all know me by face, and one of the women has made it her goal lately to get me to talk more. So the conversation went something like this today:

Her: What are you up to today?
Me: Work. I have to catch up. I just got back from a few days off in Denver.
Her: What were you doing there?
Me: Writer's conference
Her: Oh, what do you write?
Me: (I know this one, I went to a class about it). Fantasy.
Her: Oh really? Can you recommend any non-violent fantasy novels? My brother loves to read.

Umm...

Hmm...

Really?

I didn't expect that. I'm prepared to answer questions about being published, about what my story is about, about what one does at a writer's conference. But apparently, I'm not prepared to make recommendations. At least, not for adult fantasy novels.

It's not that I don't read. Off the top of my head - 'American Gods' by Neil Gaiman, anything 'Discworld' by Terry Pratchett, the 'Dragon Lance' books, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Frank Herbert...

But...I don't think those fit the definition of what she's looking for. Just an assumption I drew from other bits of the conversation. I'm embarassed to admit I'm drawing such a total blank. But I don't write sword & sorcery stuff, because I don't really read it, so...

Anyone have any recommondations? Fantasy for adult readers that's basically rated PG or PG-13, especially on the violence side of things?

At the Core of the Character

2011-09-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

As I fell asleep to 'Thor' (which kind of bummed be out because I love all the scenes in Asgard, especially if they have Loki in the, and I like the ending, and blah, blah, blah, but anyway), I had this repeating thought in my head. It wasn't related at all to the movie.

Well, except for the Loki bit.

One of my main characters is, well, Loki. At least, based on interpretations I have, and the movie resonates with a lot of how I've created that character. I know a lot about this character. What his motivations are, what he lies to himself about, what he's actually a god of...I know what's at his core. Which I love. It makes him fun to write.

And while I was pondering this, and possibly drooling over the actor in his more frantic, emotional scenes (I love the subtle face twitches, the pans from the camera, all of it), I realized I had a problem.

And that problem wasn't my obsession with a fictional movie character.

It's that I don't know what's at the core of my protagonist.

I knew what her goals and motivations were. Externally. She wants to get rid of the voices, right? And discover the truth. Right?

But that's not who she is. That's not at the core of the character.

And when I had this revelation so many other things clicked for me. Notes from various readers and cp's, why I struggle with certain scenes.

And now that I know Ronnie just wants to be heard, and have control over her own life, I have a much clearer picture of the character and how to tell her story.

Until that revelation I thought she was power hungry. Nope, not at all. Wow, that changes some misconceptions.

^_^

What's at the core of your protagonist?

Focus, and...pitch

2011-09-14T06:02:00.000-06:00

I was talking to Charity Bradford yesterday, (go check out her blog, you won't be disappointed), because one - she had some great thoughts on yesterday's post and two - because my pitch is up for critique today over at Unicorn Bell.

The focus of our discussion...pitches. Go figure ^_^

About eight months ago, I started querying Uriel's Fall. I was so freaking pleased with myself (which some of you know because I was smearing it all over my blog way back then ^_^). I had honed my query, I had finished my revisions...it was time to go!

Except...the response wasn't so great. Now, it's true I think I only queried about 10 or 15 agents. Every single response was a rejection based on the initial query. Every three-five letters I tweaked the query and tried again, and my CP agreed with me that it properly represented the book.

And I couldn't figure it out. What was wrong with my query? If it was such a great representation of the book, and it was a good book, why was there zero interest?

If you read the number of literary agent blogs that are out there, you've probably heard that if you can't summarize the story properly, the problem may be the story. In fact, Scott Eagan mentioned it just yesterday. "If You Can't Describe Your Story, There Probably Isn't A Story". The title of the post says it all.

I had heard that, but thought "it's not the story. The story rocks. The story is awesome. I mean, okay, maybe it needs a little cleaning up. Or a lot. Or a ton. Or OML I am never going to finish this in the history of anything even though I thought I was done six months ago this so isn't fair why me...?"

So...to get back to the original point, I think Charity struggled with something similiar because we had an email exchange a few months back about her query.

What we both agreed on yesterday was that refining that pitch, figuring out what the one key, primary, big plot in the story was, gave the rest of the story focus.

The way I did it was sit down and write what the overall character goals were through out the story. What's she trying to accomplish at the start? In the middle? At the end?

Only one theme remained the same throughout every list. I like a lot of the other themes. That's probably why they're subplots. But they're not the main story.

And when I look back at my last attempt at querying, I can see that I always wanted to mention this element, but it was the first to get cut if I needed to tighten things up.

Bad. Very bad.

If the overall point is that Ronnie hears voices and wishes she didn't, then that should probably be the focus of my pitch/query.

Now that I've got that figured out, I feel like a little lightbulb has gone on over my head. And I agree with Scott Eagan's suggestion: "If we are writing a query letter or pitching to an editor, when do we start? BEFORE you write the story."

Now I just have to learn to tackle the synopsis. Any suggestions?

"What's your story about?"

2011-09-13T08:59:00.000-06:00

I attended the RMFW (Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers) Gold Conference this weekend. This was not my first conference, but it was my first writers conference. It was probably the most diverse group of people I've ever seen, especially considering there were only about 300 attendees.

I say only because when I had my anime business, a small convention was 1,000-3,000. Medium is 7-10,000, large is up to 15k, and mega is closer to the 20-25k range. I don't know if other people classify them this way, but that's the way my profit/loss projections laid them out. But enough with the boring stuff.

That meant to me, this was small. But I think that was a good thing. Networking with thousands of people might have made my head pop. Networking with the small handful I met this weekend made my head spin. Networking sounds so formal, though. This was much more personable than exchanging business cards and shaking hands and saying "I'll have my people e-mail yours."

Any convention or conference I've ever been to offers two things that make it worth the money:

Panels/workshops
Contacts with industry professionals, frequently who are 'on the inside' and can give you information based on their experience.

I went to clases, and agent and editor panels, and dinners, and did all sorts of learning and mingling. I attended one fantastic session about defining genre, and I'll probably dig it up tomorrow so I can share the links. The woman was a great speaker and taught a great class.

But (wow, it takes me a long time to get here), my favorite part was the agent pitch session. I've read about these online. All sorts of hints and tips

Don't launch right into your pitch, make some friendly small talk first
Know your pitch. Be able to talk about your book in under a minute
Relax, agents are people too

There's probably more specifics to that, but them's the basics. I figured I had two distinct advantages (because I'm arrogant like that). First, my pitch was the first one after lunch. The person I was talking to had a chance to rest, take a break, be refreshed, all that stuff.

Second, I interview well. I've spent so many years on both sides of the interview table, that I can answer questions. I know the rules about these things.

So I spent the hour before sitting in an almost empty spot in the hotel lobby, talking to myself and memorizing the essentials of my pitch. Yay, me.

I was good. I was polite, and friendly (I think) and took a seat when it was time for my appointment.

And expected that this person would walk me through every single step of what was going on. I don't know why I expected this, but my mind had decided that's the way it would work.

And then she said "So, tell me everything."

My brain froze. Do what? Everything? Everything is a big freaking topic. What happened to "so tell me about yourself?" or "what do you do when you're not writing?" Or "is this your first time in Denver?" Or anything specific.

Once again, this was a hesitation brought on by my own assumptions. And my response was "I'm sorry?"

Yay for brilliance!

She repeated the request, and fortunately the part of my brain that rules all when I go to job interviews kicked in. What I recited back sounded a lot like the brief bio that I provide to anthologies when I get short stories published. Think of it as the pitch version of your life. You know:
"I've been married for ten years and we have twenty-three kids, all ours. I bake cookies in my free time and I've been writing since I was two."
Or
"I have three cats, I kyak on the weekends, and I love rainbow colored nail-polish."

Stuff like that. That's as everything as it gets when you have ten minutes total to chat.

And then the question I expected. Fortunately, I was prepared for this one, and only stumbled a little (forgetting to mention things like genre, title, etc). "What's your story about?"

There were also questions in there about genre, word count, whether or not the manuscript was finished, and why I thought I could get away with calling it "Fantasy/Women's Fiction". (My words, not hers).

Ten minutes is a long time if you use it efficiently. And there are few times in my life when I've been so giddy to hear the phrase "very interesting."

So my overall analysis of the situation. Best thing about a pitch session: if you do it right, is it's basically presenting your query letter in person. I mean, not literally. But imagine being able to see the agent's face and hear their questions and mutterings as they read that query.

Totally invaluable. To me anyway.

And now I have revisions to make. I've given myself until the end of the month to pore through this two more times. Once to add in more world-building and once to make sure the new stuff meshses with the old stuff and make final edits.

My goal (after this renewed confidence I found this weekend) is to be able to query in October.

What's your story about?

Active, Passive, who did what to whom?

2011-09-12T07:53:00.000-06:00

Sometime this week I'm going to share my story of my very first every pitch session with a literary agent. One, because it made me giddy, but two because it's one of those things that's kind of nerve wracking, and I figure it might be helpful to offer a perspective on it in case someone else is about to do the same thing.

But today...active versus passive voice.

I read a fantastic article on this once on writng.com and I wish I could find it now, but I will paraphrase to the best of my ability and hope I don't do the original author too much injustice.

When I was in yearbook my senior year of high school, my yearbook instructor told us our captions should always be written in passive voice. Whenever possible. He then went on to explain that passive voice was the use of words like 'was'. As in:

Jimmy threw the ball
versus
The ball was thrown my Jimmy

Here's the thing...the two statements are not mutually exclusive. They don't always go together and they don't always mean the same thing.

Was, had, were, etc are also part of perfect past tense.

So
Jimmy was looking at the ball
vs.
Jimmy looked at the ball

The first statement is not passive voice. It's perfect past tense. It indicates Jimmy was doing the looking before the narration started. The second sentence indicates Jimmy started looking when the narrative started.

Passive voice is showing the subject being acted upon by the noun instead of the noun acting upon the subject.

Wow, that sounded dry.

Um, more examples:
The cat pounced on the toy is active voice
The toy was pounced on by the cat is passive voice
The cat was pouncing on the toy means the cat started pouncing on the toy before the narrator told us about it.

Or
The college students attended class active
Class was attended by the college students passive
The college students were attending class perfect past tense

And the college students had better be attending class, or I worked on Sunday for nothing :-P

Anyway...

I guess my point is 'Was' is not an evil word. Passive voice is also not evil, but you have to know when to use it.

If you want the focal point of the sentence to be the subject, passive voice can be appropriate:

The rock star poster on the wall had darts thrown at it by Sally.
You'd use this passive sentence if you wanted to draw more attention to the poster than to Sally.

Sally was throwing darts at the rock star poster
You'd use this perfect past sentence if you wanted to indicate this had already started happening. Maybe the narrator walked in the room and that's what they saw. Or, Sally threw the darts in the past, and this is part of a flashback.

Sally threw darts at the rock star poster
This brief, sexy, 90% of your critique partners would suggest it sentence, is only appropriate if Sally starts throwing the darts while the narrator is telling you about it.

So, now that I've beat this poor dead horse, I'm going to get back to making sure class can be attended by the students (passively), and probably come back tomorrow with something much less classroom like.

Do you ever use passive voice intentionally?

Travel Plans

2011-09-07T10:51:00.000-06:00

I was a very inexperienced traveller when I was younger. I think as a family, we went on vacation outside the state once when I was growing up. And I was maybe...five or six. We went to Disney Land, and I remember the holographic projections on the rides being the coolest thing I'd ever seen. And I think I vaguely remember meeting Alice and the White Rabbit. And I'm pretty sure we stayed in Tucson, AZ on the way back home.

After that, I didn't really travel anywhere again until I was in my early 20's. I had never been on a plane up to that point. Innocent, naive little me. A coworker wanted my help with a database migration in San Jose, so he had my company fly me out to CA. I was so very unprepared. I arrived in the airport and realized he wasn't there, I had forgotten any phone numbers to get a hold of him, and had no idea where my hotel was.

I was too young to rent a car, at least without significant cost, and I didn't have a credit card anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered. I made that trip with less than $50 available to me.

Eep!

He showed up, took me to the office, introduced me around, made sure I had dinner that night, changed my flight and hotel reservations the next day when I had to stay a day longer, and enthralled me with tales of his wordliness. I was so in awe. This man had been to other countries. And had good stories to tell about them. He was a printer technician who did most of his work on the road, so he got to fly every week. I couldn't even imagine how cool that would be.

And I hopped on the plane back home and decided travel - especially on someone else's dollar - was the best invention ever.

Second plane trip I was almost as unprepared. I was flown to Las Vegas for a job interview less than a year later. My flight out there was delayed. I missed my first shuttle to the hotel. After my interview I was dropped at Ceaser's Palce and told I could probably find a ride to the airport from there, and then my flight back was delayed six hours. Again, with less than $50 cash on me.

And I learned. I learned a lot of things at that point. First was, if you don't have a company credit card, make sure you're travelling with someone who does whenever possible and let them pick up the tab. It's easier for them to expense it :-D (okay, it's easier for me if they expense it).

But I learned other, much more important things. And I'm always surprised when I travel with other people who don't do this. I always rent a car now unless the company just absolutely won't pay for it. And I always print out driving instructions. How to get to the hotel from the airport. How to get to the office/convention center from the hotel.

And I hope if I'm the one driving, I have a good navigator. My younger brother and sister - fantastic navigators. They know how to read a map like no one's business which amuses me because neither drives (or did at the time at least). The girl I traveled with at my last job - lousy navigator. I learned my way around Nashville very quickly so I didn't have to rely on that.

I have other quirks too. I like to reserve hotel rooms with two beds. One is where all the stuff gets dumped, and the pizza gets eaten. The other is for sleeping in. I almost always try and order room service one night when I'm there, but that's easier if I'm not paying.

The thing is, all that planning and I never know what I'm going to do for fun before I leave. I don't look up local hotspots. I don't make evening plans. I ask at the front desk what's fun. Or ask the client. Or drive until a place looks spiffy. I don't track details like that until it's time to do them.

Kind of like...when I write a novel (sorry it took me so long to get there ^_^). I typically have a general idea of how it starts, how it ends, what the highlights are and how important it is to get certain business done. But I so very rarely know the details before I get to them.

That's part of the fun for me.

Are you an organized traveler, disorganized, or somewhere in-between?

TLIF - It's All A Matter of Opinion

2011-09-06T11:07:00.001-06:00

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Mostly because I just discoverd it about myself. However, Teralyn Rose Pilgram had a post yesterday about a similar subject, and rather than blog on her blog, I thought I'd expand on the thought here.

I fear negative reviews of my own work. Like if I ever get a book out there,I'll probably cry when I see my first two or one star review. It makes me cringe just thinking about it. So I try not to.

But the thing is, I love reading negative reviews for books and really for anything I'm thinking about buying.

When I'm trying to decide whether or not to buy something, I try and read the reviews. Always. Especially books and electronics. This is why I love Amazon.com. I'll skim the 4 & 5 star reviews, just to get an idea of what people are raving about. But think I'll click on that little link next to the 1 star ratings.

I'll read what they all have to say. I'll ignore the snark and sarcasm and stupidity (because yes, rating a product 1 star because UPS took too long to deliver it is stupid), and I'll filter out what the reveiwers didn't like.

Frequently, a trend will emerge. Maybe no one liked the Coby Kyros MID7024-4G Android tablet because it had problems with the Wi-Fi. And I decide "I'm technical, I can live with that/fix it if it happens." (Which was a big mistake by the way, because the Wi-Fi wasn't just difficult to deal with it was actually non-functional so I'm returning the device and getting a Nook Color and a patch for Android).

Or several of the lower-ranked reviews will say "I thought the anti-religous tone in this book was disparaging". Or "I'd rather not think about teenagers who live such dark lives" (and some of the reviews actually say that flat out). I'll see that and think "Those things don't bother me. In fact, they might make the story more interesting". And I'll decide to buy the book because of those 1 star reviews.

On the other hand, if they say things like "the plot is cliched" or "cute, but not substantial" or "predictable without any redeeming qualities" and it's a trend (because I think all books have that review at least once), I'll probably steer clear.

Especially if those same reasons are exactly why the 4 & 5 star people rated the book so high.

So yeah...I suspect I'll never be prepared to get that kind of feedback on my own work, but that little series of stars doesn't impact my decision to buy. It's always the reason behind them.

How do you feel about stars and product reviews?

TLIF - The Game is (not) Currently Offline

2011-09-06T11:07:00.000-06:00

Thank you everyone for the thoughts and ideas and motivation :-)

Instead of my normal rambling, I'm going to share a story from Ay today. A little bit of background, for those of you who don't know, we've been addicted to an MMORPG called Mabinogi for about three years now. This is a love/hate relationship at its finest. We love the game, but because of my background in software development, I loathe the way they manage things like updates.

That little voice in the back of my head says 'they're incompetent, you could do better.' To which another little voice replies 'all software companies are incompetent, some are just better at hiding it.'

Anyway...they've had some serious security problems over the past few months that have taken the game offline for hours and days at a time. Which makes us twitch because we're addicts. Last night they announced the game would go offline for 17 hours. To which we went "Holy s***". But, that meant it would be while we were sleeping, and then while I was working. And part of me knew it would be longer, because their updates always take longer than they think, but I had hope. I'm dim like that.

Except so far, they haven't delayed the finish of their update, they've delayed the start. They keep pushing it back two hours at a time so at this point, it will probably extend into tomorrow morning. When they finally get started, that is.

So being the helpful person Ay is, she told me why it's taking them so long to just start the maintenance.

Two men sit in a dimly-lit room. Both are dressed in black slacks, white button-down shirts, and clip-on ties. The thinner man, Ethan (who looks remarkably like Jude Law), has dark blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He sits hunched in front of the computer, studying each line of code for any sign of flaw. He doesn't know what he's looking for, but he will know if an end tag isn't closed. Probably.

Behind him is Bob, a man with longer, curly red hair. Bob snacks on a sandwich. His gut hangs over his belt, and he occasionally licks a dob of peanut butter from his fingers.

Ethan stops, realizing it's too quiet in the room. He looks at the sandwich eater, eyes narrowed. "Where are Dave and Chris?"

"They went to the bathroom."

Ethan slams his hands on the desk and pushes to his feet with a growl. "You idiot." He kicks the chair out of the way, not caring as it topples to the ground, and sprints toward the office exit. He bursts through the door, sighing at the sight of the stairwell exit swinging back and forth.

Steeling himself, he pulls his phone from his pocket and dials the first number in his contacts. "Yessir. They're gone."

As he listens to the screaming, hoping it doesn't shatter his eardrums, a movement catches his attention. Without a second thought, he pulls the silenced 9mm from his shoulder holster and shoots Bob in the back of the head before he can follow his coworkers to freedom.

"We're going to need three. And send up janatorial. We have a mess." He toes Bob's fleshy belly. "About three hundred pounds. Yessir. On it sir." He grabs the sandwich off the ground, tossing it aside again when he realizes it's grape jelly. Why couldn't it have been strawberry?

Without another glance at the body, he makes his way back to his office. He knows what he has to do. Each step is outlined in perfect detail in his thoughts. He pulls up the code for the website and types out a brief note:

"Dear Players,

We have updated the times for this maintenance..."

Notification published, he clicks to the corporate Monster.com account and begins to type again:

"Wanted: Senior developer in a fast-paced..." he pauses and searches for the right word, "Friendly environment. Must be willing to start immediately. Must work well in a demanding team culture."

Happy Friday!

Update (from the actual gaming site, and the reason the 'you could do this better' part of me is louder than the 'no you couldn't' part right now):

UPDATE #6
Dear Players,

The work leading up to this maintenance is taking longer than we had expected, and as such, we have delayed the beginning of it several times already.

Since we are still working toward the maintenance, we will update this post again when we have a firm time for the maintenance.

We sincerely do apologize for the inconvenience and ask for your continued patience as we work to improve the Mabinogi experience.

Thank you all.

Expectations in Story-telling

2011-09-06T10:33:00.000-06:00

Have you ever read the Terms of Use or End User License Agreement that comes with the software you use? That little box that you have to accept whenever you install/use a new program on your computer?

The language always varies, but the underlying message is pretty much the same. It states very specifically what they do and don't guarantee will function in their software, and lays down rules about how you're allowed to use and distrubute the programe. Things like if you only paid for one copy, you can't install it on every computer in the neighborhood, etc.

They also all have a couple of specific lines that a lot of people don't think about when they click 'Accept'. The first usually says something along the lines of "We reserve the right to modify this agreement at any time without notice."

In other words, if they find a loophole, they can fix it first and then tell you later. Or not tell you at all if they choose.

The second is more wordy. But it basically says that unless it's spelled out in the document you're reading, it's not covered by their warranty or them in any way. Something like "The manufacturer or installer give no other express warranties, guarantees or conditions, written or implied..."

I'm thinking about this today because when I use a piece of software, I have certain expectations. Like, that it will function as advertised. However, my interpretation of as advertised may be very different from what the manufacturer intended. Like, I may expect a game I pay for to be up 99.98% of the time (a typical online software figure. Some companies may be bold and extend it to 99.998%'). But if it doesn't say that anywhere in the terms of use, the company doesn't actually owe that to me.

That's how they keep their butts out of court.

My point...wouldn't it be nice if the unwritten contract we have with our readers worked the same way? If they misinterpret something we write, we could just say "Nope, that's not what I intended, so you're wrong."

Then again, art is about intepretation so that might take all the fun out of it. I think it's fascinating to see how people interpret my characters and stories differently than I intended. Well, fascinating until they tell me I'm wrong. I'm so grouchy about that.

I guess the thing is, we don't have that liberty as authors. Someone can not like our stuff, and it's their opinion, and their right. We can't make them understand (well, maybe we can if they open a dialogue, but that's not going to happen with every reader). And since there's no legal obligation to either of us, they're allowed to not like it. That doesn't mean we were wrong, it doesn't mean they were wrong.

'Good story' isn't contractually defined. Leaves us with a lot of wiggle room. Not a bad thing if you ask me ^_^

The Unshakable Dark Cloud

2011-09-01T08:40:00.000-06:00

I'm going to do something I very rarely do. I'm going to let my inner demons speak. Probably not a good idea, but...

I've been pondering things lately. Writing things. What makes a good story. What makes a good writer. That kind of stuff.

You know, the stuff every artist ponders at some point in their years of creation. And there's the self-doubt that goes with it.

I've lost my confidence. It's gone *poof* in a little cloud. Not all of it. I still think I tell a compelling short story...when I actually get it down on paper. But I've lost any faith in my ability to create a complete novel. Anything beyond a draft. Anything ready for the general public.

And I've read a whole bunch of other people talk about the same thing. How they push through it. How they realize they're not alone in feeling that way. How they get their mojo back.

That's not me. Not right now. And the thing is, I don't think I suck as a writer. I'm not there. I think I'm incapable of finishing anything. That's my current woe. I can write what I think are compelling stories. Long, short, whatever. And absolutely enjoy the hell out of them.

And when it comes time for revision, I think I screw them up. I get all these big grand ideas. I start trying to implement things like pacing, and character arc and description, and more clear plot, and it all falls apart.

And I have to wonder, am I cut out for this? Of course, if I quit I'm obviously not. The people who quit never get anywhere. That's one of those motivational pieces of advice that shows up everywhere.

In the end, I just want my little angel to figure out who she is and stand on her own two feet. I just want my software developers to take a step away from oppressive corporations and prove they can make it on their own.

Wow...common theme in my stories. Intersting. *lightbulb*. /tangent.

I want to know I can do it because I write well and see a project through, not because someone feels obliged to tell me I can do it.

How do you restore your faith in your own skill and talent when cynicism sets in?

When I Grow Up...

2011-08-25T10:16:00.000-06:00

I found this today and was fascinated with the premise. The basic concept is, when you were a child, what you wanted to be when you grew up reflected what you viewed as important in the world around you:

Renowned Psychotherapist, Armand DeMile did a podcast called “Significance and Pareidolia” on this topic. According to DeMile a child’s fantasy of what they want to be when they grow up shows how and where they feel insignificant, the areas where something is missing. He also concludes that what you wanted to be shows what your idea of significance was, what you thought you needed to be loved, important, listened to.

This was fascinating to me on a lot of levels. Personally, I want to go back and ponder the deeper questions of my childhood dreams. For the record, I wanted to be a famous novelist. Then an astronaut. Then a Lawyer. And possibly at some point I wanted to be a teacher. Or a detective ala Nancy Drew style.

On a writing level, I see at least two fascinating angles. The first one relates back to the writer. How much of our characters reflect our definiton of significant? I think there's always a touch of our insecurity, our hope, and our fear in our characters. I'm not saying they're a mirror, or that all they do is us, but I don't think we can help but show through at least a little.

But all of that isn't new to me. What I thought was most fascinating was the opportunity to apply it to our characters themselves. It's a way to give them more motivation. Either applied to their hopes and dreams, or as applied to their current habits/jobs/activities/etc.

It's not something that has to be explained to the reader, not unless it's that kind of story. But what a great thing to be able to keep in mind while writing.

Bobby-Joe wanted to be a mechanic when he grew up. Why?
His uncle was a mechanic. He respected his uncle
His uncle was the only reasonable male role-model in his life
Bobby-Joe doesn't feel masculine enough because he has seven sisters and they use him as a dress-up doll.
etc, etc, etc.

I don't think every character has to be that convoluted, but it seems like a fascinating new level of character development to me.

So what did you want to be when you grew up? Or what do you want to be?

The Business Side of Creativity

2011-08-24T13:59:00.000-06:00

It's public knowledge that selling books is a business. Go figure, right? Selling anything is a business. I give you product, you give me money or another equivilent item in return...business transaction!

But that's not quite what has my brain today. It's close. But I'm not focused on the business side of writing. I'm focused more on where the balance is between commercialism and art.

In other words, how much of your story is for you, and how much is because you want it to sell?

I've worked in technology for many years. Enough that it shows my age. I've been part of good software development, bad software development, and floundering based on decision by committee. Believe it or not, software development is so very much like being creative with the hopes of making a sale (or, if you prefer, commercial art).

It all starts at the same place. Someone has an idea:
"I think it would be awesome if there were a video game for my phone where you could put square shaped blocks in a slingshot and fling them at action figures who would fight back with giant lightening balls."

Awesome. Fantastic. This is where things start to vary by situation.

If the person with the idea doesn't have the skills to make it happen, they tell everyone who they can think of who does, and hope someone else can work with them. Story ends there. Kind of a boring story, really. Sorry about that.

If the person with the idea also has the skills to make it happen, they will either:

Start writing the application and fill in the blanks as they go, or
Start writing down exactly how they want the application to work, outlining each individual step, possible scenarios, issues, etc, and then develop from there.

Once this is done, there are another couple of options:

Release it to the world
Ask a couple of friends to try it, make changes based on their suggestions, and release it to the world
Ask other programmers to look at it, both the final product and the program itself, make changes based on their suggestions, and release it to the world
Look around for a reputable distributor who has experience testing and marketing, and agree to let them have a portion of the profits in exchange for their expertise helping you refine the game.

One of these things is not like the others. Releasing it to the world without showing it to anyone else first is fantastic. Right? It means you get artistic freedom. Your game is yours and yours alone. You wrote it for you. It does what you want it to do. It works on your computer/phone/tablet. And it's the best thing ever made in the history of the world.

So why aren't people buying it?

Does it matter? You wrote it for you, right? This isn't about them, it's about artistic integrity.

On the other hand, if you go with either of the other three options, you're dealing with feedback. You're asking one or more other people their opinions. Fantastic, right? Once you implement all their suggestions, you'll have the most marketable game ever. Everyone will want to buy it. You'll make millions.

Except, Person A wants you to change the squares to marshmellows, Person B thinks cannons are better than slingshots and Person C is anti-technology and thinks it would be better as a board game. With flowers. And rainbows. Don't forget, Person D hates it. Completely. But they hate everything, including the cash gift you gave them for Christmas because that's what they asked for. They were upset it was in large bills.

And none of that quite fits with your original artistic vision.

Suddenly you have to balance it all. Some of it is easy. Person D won't be happy no matter what. Their words hurt the most. So it's tempting to listen to them and let them crush your spirit. Don't. Cross their opinion off your list. You can wallow in it, you can let it nag you for a day or two. But then walk away.

Person C isn't your target market. Yeah, a board game sounds fantastic. But it's not what you're creating. It's temping to listen to them because it's such a great idea. Why didn't you think of that? But you didn't. Your idea is a video game. Cross their opinon off your list. Keep it in the back of your mind if you'd like. Maybe next time you can create a board game. But remember, that's not your goal here.

Person A & B, they're a little tougher. They don't think the entire story needs to be changed, just little tweaks. This is where you have to do that tough thing any ~~developer~~ artist deals with. Trust your instinct. Will marshmellows really make the game better, or was your gamer hungry? Do you need cannons, or is your tester just more interested in violent games?

You can't discount them just because their opinion doesn't quite fit with the original idea, but you can't use their input just because they gave it to you.

I'm all for flipping a coin. Or taking a vote. And then realizing the results are exactly the opposite of what I want and going in the other direction after all. How do you decide whether to side with your art or with marketability?

Sometimes Honesty is the Best Deception

2011-08-23T11:18:00.000-06:00

I like to write deceptive characters. Loki is one of my favorite, but he's not the only one. They're not all deceptive for cruel reasons, but it is usually for some sort of manipulation.

The thing is, it's not easy to be a dishonest character if you don't do it right. It has a lot in common with being a writer. Yeah, don't stick your tongue out at the screen, it's all a form of storytelling. With storytelling, you have to keep your world straight. Your characters, their past, their habits, the rules. If you don't, someone catches it. They'll come down on your inconsistency so fast your head will spin.

Like William Shatner answering questions about story continuity at a Star Trek convention. (Which I tried to find the original SNL clip for, but after minutes of searching Youtube gave up). People will want to know why children can cast magic subconsciously before they get to Hogwarts, but need a wand after.

So you have to keep your own story straight. Just like that guy who you can't tell when he's telling the truth and when he's weaving a fanastic tale for his own gain.

Which is why I've learned some storytelling tricks from my own characters. The first one wasn't super helpful, but it did start the conversation ball rolling. I'm told (by my characters) that they love nicknames for women. Think "Hey, beautiful", or "Hiya, sexy". It's great because the woman loves the compliment and never thinks to ask why the guy can't remember her name.

And then I pouted and asked for more stuff I could use and relate it to writing, and I got this:

Only bend the truth as much as you have to. Some of the best ~~lies~~ stories aren't elaborate fabrications that come from the middle of no where. They start with a foundation the teller already knows, and they get rearranged until they make a better tale.
The less elaborate the better. When you're weaving your tale, if you start talking about where the kitchen table sits, and what color the plates are, and how far apart the guns sit on the gun rack, you'll have to remember that all later if you reference it again. Describe what's important to move the story forward, and let the rest hover in the background untold
Expect to get called on it. If you do something, say something, decided something, expect someone to ask why. That doesn't mean you have to explain up front, but as the storyteller, you have to prepared to if someone wants to know.
When in doubt, the unexpected is your friend. All right, so you tried to follow all the rules of ~~deception~~ intricate storytelling, and you still found yourself stuck. You can't explain it, you don't know where to take the tapestry of your tale, what do you do? Toss in something unexpected. It doesn't have to be outrageous, in fact the more plausible the better, but it does help if it comes out of left field.

Apparently there's more to it that they're telling me, but those are the basics to suspension of disbelief.

What other tactics do you use in your storytelling to help pull the wool over the reader's eyes and suck them deeper into the story?

Contest Prize Winners!

2011-08-22T07:56:00.000-06:00

Very first off - there are worse ways to start a Monday than free stuff ^_^ Thank you to everyone who entered my contest last week. I love that I got the opportunity to do this, and today I have three winners.

I should put them at the bottom of the post, so you have to scroll through my ramblings to read the list, but I'm going to tell you up front. Mostly.

*drumroll*

Grand Prize Winner of the $25 Amazon.com gift certificate:
Sarah McCabe

Runner Up Winner of the three awesome anthologies:
Julia Smith

And...

Second Runner Up Winner of the YA Urban Fantasy Pack:
Ashelynn Hetland

Congratulations all three of you ^_^ I'll be contacting you this morning to figure out where you want your prizes sent. And if you're not following these three ladies and their blogs - go do it now! All of them are worth reading.

I am in the midst of rewrite - inspiration finally broke this weekend and I'm trying to cling to it for all its worth while I still have it. So I'm logging off for the day.

But I'll be back tomorrow (probably) for more ramblings ^_^

TLIF - Love is in the air

2011-08-19T08:52:00.001-06:00

My wedding anniversary is in a week and a half. Ay (not only my spouse, but my muse...how lucky is that?) and I have been married for 9 years. As that fateful celebration approaches, and I try and figure out how to make it special and surprise-filled, I've been thinking about love in general.

We've known each other for 12 years. We clicked from the start, and even though it took us another year to start dating, a year after that to make it exclusive, and another year to tie the knot, we both kind of knew from the start we wanted to end up together.

Along those same lines, I've been thinking about romantic relationships in novels. There's a formula in a lot of those relationships. The guy who drives the girl nuts - who insults her and doesn't get along with her and whom she almost always misunderstands even though the reader knows he doesn't mean it that way - is the guy she's going to end up with.

As a reader, you know almost as soon as he's introduced that he's going to be the love interest by the end of the story.

I had a problem with that for a long time. Not in other stories, oddly enough, but I refused to let it happen in my own. I hated anything I wrote that adhered to that formula.

Last week I read Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes by Denise Grover Swank. The book was fantastic, btw. I stayed up late two nights in a row to finish it. And I'll post a real review next week.

Here's the thing - same methodology. And then it occurred to me that I loved the book anyway. And that there was a reason for all the friction between the characters. It drove other aspects of the plot besides their relationship, and it served a purpose. Or several of them. And talk about a great inciter for repeated conflict.

And now I'm no longer opposed to that line of thinking. I'm reminding myself that the point isn't whether or not the couple ends up together, it's 1 - how they got there, and 2 - what else they did along the way. That's what drives the reader. That's what compells us to move forward in the story.

What formulas/tropes do you think are acceptable in writing and/or which are just inexcusable?

PS: Happy Early Anniversary, Ay ^_^ <3

Telling Us What We Can Bleeping Read

2011-08-17T08:51:00.001-06:00

Don't forget, I and a bunch of other people are giving away some awesome free stuff. Check it out if you haven't yet.

The ALA's list of banned and challenged classics

#4 - To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
#9 - 1984 - George Orwell
#17 - Animal Farm - George Orwell

These are important because they're some of the only assigned reading I finished when I was in high school. I read all three in eighth grade. Books I never finished included anything by Dickens or Shakespear. Ever read Great Expectations? Wanna talk about screwed up home life? That story puts any reality show to shame. But only barely.

Not on the list:

All Quiet on the Western Front - Erich Maria Remarque. More required reading that I finished, and the graphic descriptions of violence and other things gave me nightmares for months. I'm not sorry I read it, but still.
Hamlet
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Oliver Twist

Let's see...man pretends to be crazy to out his father's killer and everyone dies
...wood nymphs get it on...and not necessarily honestly
...orphan boy steals, cheats, lies, and lives a horrendous life...at least at first

Also not on the list (also not classics, or recommended reading, but still) any of the novels I found at the library and passed around to my friends at school when I realized they had 'naughty' scenes in them. The book I read about devil worship. VC Andrews (all of my friends read Flowers in the Attic).

Here's the thing about all of these. My parents knew I read them. My parents who were upstanding members of their religous community. They even knew about the devil worship one. They allowed it. They encouraged it. And, oh yeah, my father was always available to answer any questions I had about what I'd read.

Then again, I claim allegience to a god of mischeif now, so maybe all that reading when I was younger was bad for me. All that learning. Self-education. I recently discovered Kurt Vonnegut (late bloomer I suppose) and was absolutely infatuated with Cat's Cradle but there's no way I would have understood the underlying theme of the story 20 years ago.

I'm glad I was exposed to those things, even if it was only through words, because then I knew what they were. Hiding me from the reality of fiction wouldn't have done anything except made sure I was ill-prepared for the real-life version of it. Oh, and thanks to 'All Quiet', I still cringe at war movies, Hollywood blood, and gory violence.

Draw your own conclusions. Your children aren't mine to raise or to tell what to read. Then again, no one else's children are yours to raise or tell what to read, either.

I Can Haz Free Stuff?

2011-08-16T09:08:00.000-06:00

As I mentioned yesterday, Sylvia Ney is hosting a unique type of blogfest to celebrate crossing the 400 follower mark.The Wonderland Giveaway. I thought it sounded like a great idea, so I'm participating. Enter here if you'd like, and then hop on over to 'Writing in Wonderland' to see what else is going on.

I had to think for a little while about what to offer today, and I've finally come up with it. I almost offered up Ace - the black kitten (I say kitten, but he's a year old and weighs more than a bowling ball) in the picture. Not because I don't love my kitten dearly, but because as I tried to take pictures this morning, he kept darting into the shot. I assumed this meant he wanted to be first prize. But I've retracted his offer, and come up with something much less furry instead.

(Note: I know there are two of you waiting on prizes from the last give-away I did. I have them and will be sending them very shortly ^_^)

But first, the rules. It'll be easy.

I'll ask that you're a blog follower and that if you're on Twitter, you go follow me there (@aszreal). I'll ask, but I won't require it. I like my readers to be here because they want to be.
Before Aug 22 (by 11:59 pm EST on Aug 21) Leave a comment below saying hi, saying you want to participate, things like that.
On Monday, August 22, I'll pick a random number - or three - and announce the winners.
The grand prize is available to anyone anywhere if Amazon.com ships to you. Internationally, the moon. Anywhere that Amazon.com ships to. The second and third place prizes are only available in the US.

Again - you can enter all the way up to 11:59 PM eastern time, Aug 21

Prizes

Grand Prize
$25 Amazon.com gift card. I'll email it to you, and you can buy books or other nifty stuffs until your heart's content ^_^

Runner-Up
The three anthologies below are full of fantastic stories. I'm only partly biased because each one contains a story by me - three of my favorites I've written.

Second Runner-Up

This is the picture my kitty really wanted to be in. You can see him in the upper left corner. This is the cleanest shot I could get. This is my YA Urban Fantasy prize. Four clear-poly folders, a copy of 'City of Bones' by Cassandra Claire, and a copy of 'Personal Demons' by Lisa Desrochers.

Enter by commenting. Entries close Aug 21 at 11:59 pm Eastern time. Good luck everyone!